Gifts
by J.J. Blue
Summary: Alternate version of the 'Nagasaki Arc' Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership? [Complete] [Betaed]
1. Prologue

**Title:** **"Gifts - Prologue"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**1996, summer's end - Somewhere in Japan**

It hurt. It hurt to feel **_HIM_** moving inside him, but he had long ago learned to not try to get away. He had had almost 3 years to learn it and thank Kami-sama, **_HE_** said his time was almost up. He didn't know anymore if he was waiting for death so anxiously because it would dissipate the almost constant pain of his _'sickness'_ or because it would free him from **_HIS TORMENTOR_**'s possession. He stared at the ceiling with empty eyes as **_HE_** kept moving over him knowing every sound he made excited **_HIS TORTURER_** more. Soon he would be free. Soon he would be free. Soon he would be... 

* * *

... In Meifu, land of the dead, where the sakura blossom forever. He never expected to discover that there, in charge of judging the dead of their past deeds, was a bureaucratic organization called JuOhCho and that its top bureau, Enma-Cho, resided in a mirror copy of the Tokyo diet building, and at its first floor there was a special division, the Shokan-Ka. The old man(1) explained that the Shokan-Ka's 18 workers were JuOhCho's high ranked employers and their duty was to continue investigation on cases unsolved and deemed impossible by the other Cho in order to solve all the troubles related to the administration. They also had the privilege to move from Meifu to ChiJou and answered directly to Enma DaiOh-sama (to avoid any negative impacts on the boy, however, he avoided mentioning that Shokan-Ka employees were nicknamed Shinigami and that their salary was the lowest). He could have the privilege to be one of them. Enma DaiOh-sama was personally interested in him. The boy turned his empty stare on him and flatly refused. 

* * *

The news didn't take too much time to reach Enma DaiOh. The ruler of JuOhCho stared at his underling, frowning. 

"What's _'He refused'_ supposed to mean? Did you explain the terms of our proposition clearly to him?" he asked, his well-modulated voice betraying annoyance and disappointment. 

"Of course, DaiOh-sama, but he doesn't want to consider our proposition at all. Apparently all he wants is oblivion and he doesn't want to set foot again on ChiJou at all. To stop him from being moved over as he wanted and you had forbidden, I had to temporarily assign him to the first district," the kneeling man informed him. Meifu's rules were clear. Dead could be stopped from moving over and assigned to whatever task the judges deemed appropriate no matter if they liked it or not, but no one could become a Shinigami without agreeing.(2) 

"Mn... I see." First district was collocated in Meifu's version of Okinawa. Far from Enma-Cho and therefore far from Enma-Cho's employees' gossip and eyes, but, differently from 9th district that was in Meifu's version of Hokkaido, easy enough to reach at any time of the year. First district was busy only in summer and that's why only one Shinigami was assigned to it. Since Shinigami worked in pairs, Okinawa Shinigami got a random partner from the Shinigami who weren't busy at the moment when a case presented itself. Also, to speed up operations, Okinawa Shinigami, who was the last entry in Shokan-Ka, Akamine Chizuru, resided in 1st district. Since she had been a Shinigami for a year only, and only rarely got to interact with the other Shinigami who resided almost all in Enma-Cho, it was unlikely she would get involved in the matter. No one had to know Enma DaiOh had his eye on the boy and that the ungrateful whelp had refused his offer. "Any chance he shared with his new co-workers the fact that he was selected as a potential Shinigami?" 

"I doubt the boy will talk about it. Not only he was asked not to, but this boy is... well, particularly introvert and closed in on himself. I don't think he'll manage to make friends easily." 

"Well done. We'll give him some time to get used at living here in Meifu and then we'll... nudge him towards the right choice..." 

"DaiOh-sama, I doubt he could be a good Shinigami. His attachment to ChiJou is too low for a start, and he's too closed in on himself, too apathetic to..."(3) The man closed his mouth quickly as he noticed Enma's glare. 

"May I remind you of the fact that you already had an introverted, apathetic employer who turned out to be the best of your division?" the ruler of Meifu pointed out. The man bowed his head, defeated. 

"I am sorry DaiOh-sama. I will do as you wish." 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Yes, the old man is Konoe.

2. No idea how JuOhCho works beside what's said in the manga. I'm making rules up.

3. In the manga it's clearly said that Shinigami need a strong attachment to ChiJou. However, after the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Hisoka believed Muraki was dead, therefore his attachment to ChiJou should have vanished... (unless he had other things that connected him to ChiJou and no, Tsuzuki doesn't count. He's not on ChiJou.). So it's still possible to keep as a Shinigami a person with no attachment to ChiJou. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
I know there's people who think Enma is nice because he didn't punish Tsuzuki in **'Devil's Trill'**... but the manga explains clearly that if he didn't it was only for his own profit. In this fic all of Enma's personality is based on the manga... therefore he's not too nice.  
Also... in the manga Hisoka was asked if he wanted to be a Shinigami but at first he refused and was sent to work in ShinKou-Cho. Then Konoe asked him again to become a Shinigami and Hisoka, after hearing rumours about how his death wasn't due to sickness but due to a Juso, decided to accept in hope to discover something. Chizuru should have already been working there since she became a Shinigami a year before Hisoka joined. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Cho:** Office  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kami:** God  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Sakura:** Cherry Tree  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	2. Chap 1 Free Me

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 1: Free Me"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Signor Capitano mi liberi le mani  
non ho fatto mai del male a nessuno  
sono piegato di fronte a questa vita   
io sono, sono un prigioniero  
e poi non vede, non vede la mia pena  
non capisce i miei pensieri  
non vede come viviamo  
non vede che non amiamo. _**

Signor Capitano dove sono le risposte  
alle tante lettere spedite  
e poi mi dica, mi dica dove siamo  
e che stiamo ancora aspettando...  
non vede come viviamo,  
non vede cosa facciamo  
non vede non crede... 

Liberatemi, liberatemi  
dalla noia e dalla confusione,  
liberatemi, liberatemi  
le mie mani devono applaudire  
liberatemi, liberatemi  
dalle mille più di mille paure."  
("Captain free my hands  
I've never hurt anyone  
I'm bent in front of this life  
I'm, I'm a prisoner  
And don't you see, don't you see my pain?  
don't you understand my thoughts  
don't you see how we live  
don't you see we don't love. 

Captain where are the answers  
To the many sent letters  
And then you tell me, you tell me where we are  
And that we're still waiting...  
Don't you see how we live,  
Don't you see what we do  
Don't you see don't you believe... 

Free me, free me  
From boredom and confusion,  
Free me, free me  
my hands must clap  
Free me, free me  
From the thousand and more fears.")  
(Biagio Antonacci - "Liberatemi") 

**Two weeks later - First district Shinkou-Cho**

He stared at the report with empty eyes. He hadn't figured afterlife would be like this. He hadn't figure afterlife would be. He had hoped, once dead, he would be nonexistent - instead... instead he was still forced to take care of the menial tasks like sleeping (little, very little, almost never), eating (even less), bathing (a lot, every chance he got), working and other irrelevant things (like throwing up, avoiding people and such). At least he was away from **_HIM_**. Three years had been bad enough. They even caused him to miss his family. Their hate was preferable to the things **_NUSHI-SAMA_** did to him. Sitting on the basement floor was preferable to being bound to a dirty bed while **_NUSHI-SAMA_**... 

He jumped back as a hand was waved in front of him and stared at the newcomer with the scared look of a trapped animal. The young woman(1) (he didn't know her name, probably they had been introduced but he just couldn't make the effort to remember people) announced that Enma DaiOh-sama (with a lot of emphasis over the name) wanted to see him. She seemed happy to announce this, feelings streaming from her like vapour from a boiling pot. The boy muttered something in reply, something she didn't understand but took as an agreement, and so, mercifully, she left him alone, her happiness still echoing through his body due to that cursed _'gift'_ of his that people called empathy and that caused him to be labeled _'Bakemono'_ by his parents. He sat down again tiredly. All he wanted from Enma DaiOh-sama was release, nothing more - but the ruler of Meifu had already refused him this small concession, insisting on offering him a job he wasn't interested in. He didn't want to return to ChiJou, to return to **_HIS_** same plane of existence, to **_HIS_** same country, no matter what. He sighed, then buried his head in his hands. All he wanted was to be free. All he wanted was... 

* * *

... Of no interest for Enma DaiOh-sama who was just allowing himself a satisfied little smirk before his new visitor was introduced. He looked at the newcomer, pleased, admiring his tall figure as the man walked with long strides towards him, reached a proper distance and then bowed, not too deeply but enough to be judged proper, then stood at attention, waiting for orders. 

"Tsuzuki," Enma greeted pleasantly. There was something about Tsuzuki Asato that was capable of attracting the sexual interest of males and females alike. It was his _'gift'_, a _'gift'_ that was more cause of trouble and unwanted attention than anything else. People often joked about it but there were few who saw him and didn't feel the need to stalk him as well. Enma wasn't an exception. 

"Enma DaiOh-sama," the man replied in a formal, cold tone that only few knew him capable to use. 

"That cold expression doesn't suit that beautiful face of yours," the ruler of Meifu commented, frowning. Tsuzuki's unnaturally coloured eyes hardened marginally, their purple shade becoming deeper, darker, yet he stood still, as if he was unaffected by his master's words. Enma smiled, apparently pleased, but in truth slightly disappointed by the lack of reaction. In his own opinion, Tsuzuki was beautiful when he was furious but the man had long ago learnt to bear all his taunts with a stoic expression, as if he didn't really care. In truth, Tsuzuki had merely understood what Enma wanted from him, and in his apparent apathy, there was all his rebellion to bowing to the man's wishes, rebellion he couldn't show in any other way. 

"What do you wish from me, Enma DaiOh-sama?" Tsuzuki asked simply. 

"So eager to obey to my commands, are you Tsuzuki? Don't you want to allow me to enjoy your company for a while? Maybe I could even offer you one of those pies you're so fond of," Enma teased. 

"I thank you for your offer, DaiOh-sama, but I'm _'temporally'_ stuffed," he answered tonelessly, his _'temporally'_ including all the time Tsuzuki was going to spend in Enma's presence and nothing more.(2) 

"I see. Too bad. I'm sorry you enjoy HakuShaku's attentions more than mine." Tsuzuki didn't say anything. It was no secret that HakuShaku-sama, the keeper of the _'Rousoku no Yakata'_ (or the _'Castle of Candles'_ if you prefer), stalked him. Tsuzuki, very reluctantly, _'allowed him'_, in exchange for favours now and then. He doubted HakuShaku-sama could find himself in serious trouble for the small help he offered him.(3) Enma frowned, than smiled again charmingly. "I've good news for you. You're going to get a new partner. One you will like, this time." Tsuzuki curved his eyebrow slightly in a tiny manifestation of lack of belief, but Enma didn't notice it, or pretended not to. "So, I expect you to not lose him too." He continued glaring at him. 

"I'll do what you wish, Enma DaiOh-sama, but of course, I can't answer for my _'partner'_." There was a tiny streak of self-satisfaction in Tsuzuki's words. He had **_never_** refused a partner. No, his way to free himself from unwanted partners was to persuade them to leave him. It wasn't that he didn't want a partner. It was that in around 70 years of service, he had learned the best way to keep his co-workers safe was to keep them as far away from him as possible. So, in the same way he knew how to accentuate the nice side of his personality that made him so loved by friends, he also knew how to bring out the other side that persuaded his partners to leave. 

"Your partner will be **_d-e-l-i-g-h-t-e-d_** to work with you, Tsuzuki," Enma assured him, not sounding persuasive at all. It sounded more like he was saying that his partner had no choice in the matter. Tsuzuki frowned, openly this time. He didn't like this. 

"Won't a partner be a problem for my work?" He wasn't, of course, referring to his low paid work as a Shinigami, but instead to all the secret business he had to deal with under the direct orders of Enma DaiOh-sama himself. 

"Such dedication to your work is admirable, Tsuzuki. To think I've tons of report from the Shokan-ka secretary criticizing your lack of it," Enma said, in a tone laced heavily with irony. Tsuzuki didn't bother to acknowledge it. "Don't worry, Tsuzuki, I'm sure you will find a solution. Your partner is very precious to me, and who can guard this little jewel better than my right hand man?" That was it. Enma needed a bodyguard for this newcomer. Poor soul. 

"May I ask DaiOh-sama what's so precious about this new underling?" he asked, not sounding too interested. He knew he would likely find out soon even if Enma denied him the answer. 

"He's an empath. Enma-Cho hasn't had an empath Shinigami in... too long. Besides, he will be a good match for you. He has all you lack. Great defence and potential healing powers. I'm afraid he still has to be trained to use them, but that's a problem you can easily solve." Tsuzuki closed his eyes momentarily. So the newcomer had the power to save people while he only had the ability to destroy them. Maybe he shouldn't pity him but be envious instead - but envy just wasn't his thing. 

"And I should like an empath, who won't have a single problem in finding out all I do, why?" he asked with suppressed sarcasm. Enma surely couldn't expect he would enjoy having around someone who could tell what was in his mind all the time. 

"Empathy, Tsuzuki, isn't the same as telepathy, so your thoughts will be perfectly safe and only your feelings exposed, but I'm sure you'll be able to guard the ones you don't want to show,"(4) Enma informed him with open mockery. After all, Tsuzuki had already dealt with these sort of problems before. Not even the man's twelve Shikigami were able to tell what was in their master's mind.(5) "As for why you should like him... let's see... your partner is a boy, a cute one because I never employ ugly people(6)... with several issues about hospitals... labeled a bakemono all his life due to his power... silent and without friends... oh, and yes, he's only sixteen." Tsuzuki's eyes widened. "I see this rings a bell. Yes, Tsuzuki, he's only two years younger. So, you still think you won't absolutely adore my gift for you?" Enma asked, talking about the boy as if he was a thing. 

"I will do as you order me to, Enma DaiOh-sama, of course." Tsuzuki replied, avoiding answering the question. 

"You'd better keep your eyes on him as well. The boy is... well; let's say it's not sure where his loyalty lies. He was involved in a mess too large for his young mind. I would be really sorry if I had to dispose of him because he proved to be a problem." Bodyguard and spy. Well, that was why Shinigami were paired. To keep an eye on each other. He just had never been warned to keep an eye on a partner by the ruler of Meifu himself. He could deal with it. He wouldn't allow Enma to dispose of the poor boy, of course, but this could be also be used to free him from this partner before he ended up as some of his previous ones. 

"I will do it, Enma DaiOh-sama," he replied simply. "I'll be introduced to him... when?" 

"I figure your _'Kacho'_, Konoe is already waiting for you to show up to introduce you. I guess you'll be able to make up a reasonable explanation for your lateness at work which will not involve this meeting, won't you?" Enma inquired, amused. His previous right hand man had been funny, but Tsuzuki topped him by quite a bit.(7) No one would expect that the apparently harmless, constantly starved, forever late and never too bright Shinigami assigned to the Kyushu territory, a territory no one wanted, could be involved in Enma DaiOh's secret schemes. Not even Konoe, even if the man did have some suspicions. 

"I will do as you wish, DaiOh-sama," Tsuzuki replied, bowing before Enma's outstretched arm managed to brush his face and leaving in the same controlled but quick pace with which he entered. Once left alone, Enma smiled to himself. Every man had a price. He was sure he had just found the one for Tsuzuki's loyalty. 

"You won't get rid of your new partner, Tsuzuki. Consider it a present from me. A little pet to persuade you to accept to stay chained at my leash. I know you wish to leave and your Shikigami's affection isn't enough to keep you here anymore. Your now dead Sempai warned me. There's only so much you can stand." Enma's fingers slid on the table. "Yet I know you were never able to abandon those who depend on you, and trust me, your new partner will depend on you a lot. There's a purpose for which I made him live those three years of torture, instructed Konoe to not train him and gave him a weak physical body. The boy will never be allowed to get strong enough to guard himself, I will make sure of it. And you, Tsuzuki, will have to forever take care of him, as well as realizing my plans, of course." 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Yes, the young woman is Akamine Chizuru. In the manga it's said that Hisoka had worked at ShinKou-Cho, but when he returned there in Vol. 6 it seemed he didn't know anyone there (it's just my impression). I figure it could have happened he met Chizuru but simply didn't pay her enough attention to remember her later.

2. Oh... Ehm... I admit the idea Tsuzuki would not accept food offered by a person he dislikes came from the anime... in the manga when Muraki offered Tsuzuki some food, it is simply not shown if he ate it or not. I don't think he did but it could be just me.

3. In the manga it's said that HakuShaku often prolonged lives due to Tsuzuki's requests. Tsuzuki offered to pay for it. HakuShaku would like him to pay with his body. Tsuzuki is clearly annoyed by the man's requests and sometimes beats him around but in the end he visits him and eats what he is offered.

4. Hisoka is always labeled as an _'Empath'_. However, Empathy is only the ability to perceive other people's feelings but not thoughts (that's Telepathy). Empathy also shouldn't be able to extract lingering feelings from objects (that's Psychometry). In the manga and in the anime Hisoka uses them all even if they all ended up as extra abilities of his Empathy. In this fic, Hisoka will be an Empath with latent Psychometry abilities (but since he can't control his Empathy yet, he has no idea how to use them). As for Telepathy... he doesn't have it. He will be able however to _'translate'_ emotions to simple sentences (feelings of happiness can be translated to an _'I'm happy'_). He would also be extremely sensitive to pick up sentences transmitted by a Telepath, even one with very low Telepathic powers.

5. I'm supposing there's some sort of weak Telepathic or Empathic connection between a master and his Shikigami.

6. No idea if Enma selects only gorgeous looking people but all the Shinigami showed so far are cool except, well, Konoe and the other sections chiefs... I suppose that Enma made exceptions for them because the old look suited section chiefs better but this is just my idea.

7. Enma's idea of fun is distorted, I know. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
The whole discussion between Enma and Tsuzuki was inspired by two sentences in Vol. 1.  
One is the one said by Muraki about Tsuzuki: _'He's famous in the underworld. Enma DaiOh's right hand man even'_. When I read it I wondered if it could be that Tsuzuki was something more than a simple Shinigami and maybe Muraki was referring to the fact he did some secret extra work under the direct orders of Enma himself. The manga never showed it but there's still the chance...  
The second is when Tsuzuki said that Hisoka is _'a very special charge left in his care by Kacho'_... and we all know Konoe gets direct orders from Enma. It was probably a joke, but still... it was inspiring! Plus there's the fact that they asked Hisoka twice if he wanted to be a Shinigami and Tsuzuki also implied that he was introduced in the Shokan-Ka _'by Kacho's connection'_ as if he had facilitations to become a Shinigami...  
All this talking made me think there could have been something behind Konoe's insistence that Hisoka joins the Shokan-ka... of course that's just me. Feel free to have different opinions. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Cho:** Office  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**HakuShaku:** "Earl". Master of the Rousoku no Yakata, he controls humans' life span  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Rousoku no Yakata:** "Castle of Candles". Where the candles representing human lives are held  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**ShinKou-Cho:** "Office ShinKou". In the 1st district of JuOhCho. It controls Okinawa's territory  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Meritite**: As I've already said in my bio and in my reply to your review to **'Somewhere I belong - Prologue'** (I don't know if you've read it, anyway it's at the botton of **'Somewhere I belong - Chap. 1'**) English isn't my language. I always do my best but I'd be more surprised if you told me I didn't do errors than that I've done them. Next time you noticed I've made an error please tell me where.  
As for the whole 1996 thing... I know in the original manga Hisoka didn't remember what Muraki did to him. In this AU, however, Muraki didn't just abuse him, curse him, erase his memories and leave. In this AU Muraki kept him (Poor Hisoka...) even if he didn't inform Hisoka that it was his curse that was causing his sickness. As a consequence of all this, once dead Hisoka couldn't care less to track down Muraki. All he wants is to be as far as possible from him. This of course affects his connection with ChiJou.  
As for note 3... note 3 specifically talks of what happened after the **'Nagasaki Arc'** not during it. AFTER the **'Nagasaki Arc'** both Hisoka and Tsuzuki believed Muraki was dead. This wouldn't affect Tsuzuki's connection with ChiJou, but if Hisoka was connected to ChiJou only due to an unfinished business with Muraki, with his death, his connection would be gone as well and yet he could keep being a Shinigami. Since this fic supposes Hisoka has no business he wishes to finish with Muraki, this Hisoka also has no connection with ChiJou. I hope this explains why note 3 isn't false and irrelevant. 

To **Emelyn C. Greiser**: Glad you like this! 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: The main pairing is Tsuzuki/Hisoka. However, you can see Enma is _'interested'_ in Tsuzuki and Muraki is _'interested'_ in both of them. I don't know if there are similar _'remakes of the Nagasaki Arc'_, even if I know fics that talk about Muraki keeping Hisoka or wandering around during Hisoka's last 3 years (but the ones I know cover only the 3 years before his death and do not move to the **'Nagasaki Arc'**). I hope my attempt will turn out to be a good fic! 

To **tenshiamanda**: First of all a big thank you for always reviewing my works! You've no idea how happy you make me! I hope you will like this fic as well! 

To **Amy Levi**: I'm happy you like the plot idea. The main pairing will be Tsuzuki/Hisoka, don't worry. As for Chizuru... since Hisoka worked in ShiKou-Cho I suppose he could have met her but never really knew her (see note 1). Anyway, as far as this fic is concerned should Hisoka return back to ShinKou-Cho he wouldn't remember her and she wouldn't remember him (Hisoka wasn't exactly social and anyway he was in ShinKou-Cho only for a short time).

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka will FINALLY meet. Will it be love at first sight or hate at first glance?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	3. Chap 2 Breathe

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 2: Breathe"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"With every waking breath I breathe  
I see what life has dealt to me  
With every sadness I deny  
I feel a chance inside me die _**

Give me a taste of something new  
To touch to hold to pull me through  
Send me a guiding light that shines  
Across this darkened life of mine 

Breathe some soul in me  
Breathe your gift of love to me  
Breathe life to lay 'fore me  
Breathe to make me breathe"  
(Midge Ure - "Breathe") 

Konoe-Kacho was just reaching boiling point when Tsuzuki showed up in his office, with a big grin, some cake from the Cinnapon shop(1), and a _'perfect'_ excuse for his lateness, based mostly on the **_IMPERATIVE_** need he'd had for dessert and this special offer the shop was doing that... Needless to say, Konoe interrupted his rant with one of his own about why employees shouldn't waste time like that, and sequestrated Tsuzuki's newly acquired sweet (secretly planning to enjoy it later since his sweet tooth could almost compete with Tsuzuki's own). As soon as the cake left his hands, Tsuzuki immediately started whining and complaining, at which Konoe reminded him he could always fire him. 

During the whole dialogue a pale youth sat on the couch in Konoe's office, perfectly still, with silent, empty, green eyes half hidden by his honey blond bangs, watching without apparently really taking notice of the scene that was taking place in the room, the cup of coffee in front of him long forgotten and untouched. When Tsuzuki finally stopped whining, Konoe trailed his eyes over to the silent boy and Tsuzuki followed his gaze. He blinked, then his eyes widened in shocked recognition. The boy... the boy looked like... Anger bubbled inside him. Enma was a first class bastard. The child's eyes widened marginally as he thought that, and his frail looking body tensed. Konoe-Kacho didn't seem to notice it as he informed Tsuzuki that the boy's name was Kurosaki Hisoka and that he was going to be his new partner, but Tsuzuki, on the contrary, didn't miss the boy's reaction. In half a fraction of a second, Hisoka felt the man's emotions taking notice of it, somehow understanding it, and than rudely and hurriedly shifting to a whining annoyance as the man complained they were pairing him **_again_** with another youngster, completely forgetting the troubles he'd had with a certain Masaki-chan(2). 

Konoe hastily assured him his new partner had no cousins he desperately wanted to save, and briefed him about Hisoka's ability. The boy listened to them talk expressionlessly. Tsuzuki-san seemed resigned to accept him. He wasn't surprised by the man's reluctance. No one ever wanted him - why should Tsuzuki-san be any different? But when Tsuzuki-san walked towards him, introducing himself as _'Tsuzuki Asato'_, and offered him his hand to shake, he turned his head away and informed Konoe in a forcefully firm voice that, as he'd said before, he really preferred to work alone, especially, he added in a very low voice, if his partner was going to be someone so lazy and childish. 

In truth, it didn't matter to him if Tsuzuki-san was childish or not, even if the thing did annoy him. He simply didn't want anyone around and would do **_everything_** to avoid shaking hands with people. People couldn't be trusted and their mere presence... hurt, not to mention how bad touching them felt. He only wanted to solve the case as soon as possible, so he would have to stay on ChiJou only the time strictly necessary to do so. He doubted working with Tsuzuki-san - or with another man for the matter - would help him to hurry things up. They would only mess with his empathy. He stood there, tense, trying to look firm and confident like a Kurosaki should, and yet fearing terribly that one of the two men would react violently to his words. 

Konoe Kacho seemed annoyed, as if others in the past had made the same complaint, a bit disappointed and somehow... sad. He didn't manage to identify Tsuzuki-san's emotions as he said he didn't want him as partner, because they were too many and shifted too fast for him to grasp, before they moved again in that complaining, childish whine he used with Konoe to point out his new partner was _'mean'_. Konoe sighed. He knew introducing the two to each other was going to be troublesome but... He glared at Tsuzuki, than ordered him to cut the whining. Tsuzuki complied, but started pouting. Konoe frowned. It was hard to say how much of Tsuzuki's behaviour was an act and how much reflected his true feelings. Acting so childishly assured Tsuzuki that no one would take him seriously. It gave him freedom to act as he pleased, as no one seemed to judge him capable of doing anything more than whine for sweets, but it also caused people to inadvertently hurt him, or to miss the signs that something was wrong with him. Tsuzuki was the division's officially _'happy go lucky, forever starved, never too bright'_ member. Even the ones who knew it was a facade and worried for him more often than not, as the secretary Tatsumi and himself both did, never knew when his behaviour was a mask or not. And Tsuzuki needed someone who knew, because the few glimpses he had caught of Tsuzuki's true feelings were starting to worry him and considering Tsuzuki's past... 

He turned to Kurosaki. While Tsuzuki knew perfectly well how to hide his own problems, Kurosaki had yet to master the art, and so far, all he knew was how to hide behind his apathy. He didn't understand why Enma had wanted this partnership right from day one, he saw nothing good about partnering a troubled teenager with a man who had been suicidal and was still fighting for his own sanity, but it wasn't his place to complain. Gently, he explained to the boy that he **_had_** to have a partner, and that, since Tsuzuki was the oldest and most skilled, he wouldn't give him too many problems. 

Of course, Tsuzuki had to ruin everything by asking in a childish, wondering tone if he really was that good, giving the clear impression he wasn't at all. Konoe decided he couldn't stand it anymore. Fine, if Tsuzuki wanted to lose this partner as well, he wouldn't try to stop him. He gave Tsuzuki a glare that made the man cringe, even if Konoe had no idea if that too was an act or honest fear, reproached him for his behaviour, briefed them both as quickly as he could over the case they were going to handle, then ordered them to get to work in Nagasaki. One of the GuShoShin would go with them to take care of communication and pass them all the information they needed about the case. 

Hisoka noticed Konoe seemed almost eager to get them out of his office even if the boy couldn't figure why. Tsuzuki, on the other hand, could. The man wanted him to get to know his new partner and vice versa, to get close to each other and, as a consequence, accept to be partners. Konoe knew he had sides that could charm people, and a soft heart that would make him care for the boy. He should have also known that he was stubborn and once he was set on the idea of not keeping a partner, he wouldn't allow one to stay. So the little one had issues about childish behaviour and laziness, eh? He was in for an extra dose of it. He sighed internally. It was the only way. He couldn't allow the boy to stay with him and follow the destiny of those who preceded him. 

* * *

Once in Nagasaki, his determination to not keep Hisoka as a partner increased as soon as he looked back at the child, who was walking as far apart from him as possible, face set in an expressionless mask, but eyebrows slightly knit together as if he was concentrating or had a small headache. His empathy was probably bugging him. They were in the middle of a crowded street in Nagasaki, and if what he suspected in Konoe's office was correct, the boy had no idea how to control his ability and _'shield'_ himself from other people's emotions. Poor boy. The child really didn't deserve this life as a Shinigami, as a killer - but he had no right to question his motivations and he couldn't take care of him either. People who believed Kyushu was a good sector to work in because it had few cases didn't know that those cases were always a bloody mess. He had seen enough Shinigami die in Kyushu to know it well. He wasn't going to risk having Hisoka following them as well. 

Take this case, for example. 

As GuShoShin explained to them, they were going to investigate over eleven deaths from blood loss. Victims had bite marks on their necks, and almost all their blood had simply _'disappeared'_. Some guy with a bad sense of humour in the Administration Office had nicknamed the case _'Dracula case'_. He crossed his arms behind his head as he mused over it, stealing another quick glance at Hisoka, but the boy was apparently lost in his own thoughts, his gaze lowered. He frowned. Weird, he'd thought he was being observed... Oh well... Anyway, this wasn't exactly the best case to start with for such a young boy. His thoughts were interrupted when a girl bumped against him. He managed to grab her, saving her from a nasty fall, but when their eyes met, he shuddered. She rudely freed herself from his hold and ran away without a word of thanks or apology while GuShoShin was having fun pointing out how he was dumped. Hisoka... was looking at the path the escaping girl took, as if he, too, sensed something weird in her, but as soon as Tsuzuki questioned him, he denied it and turned his head away. Tsuzuki sighed and his gaze fell on his shirt. His now red-stained shirt. He groaned. He **_hated_** to do laundry... GuShoShin insisted it had to be the girl's lipstick, while Hisoka didn't seem interested. As for himself... he suggested they go to eat something, a suggestion which was greeted with a cheer by GuShoShin, who was a bit of a glutton, and with complete indifference by Hisoka. While he was wondering whether the boy was capable of another expression besides that of indifference, someone screamed - a corpse had been found. 

They joined the curious crowd around it, listening to their excited chatter. Tsuzuki didn't miss how Hisoka rubbed his temples with a nauseated expression on his face, probably due more to the emotions of the people nearby than the sight of the man's corpse, who was sitting against a wall with... the clear sign of a still bleeding bite mark on his neck. It didn't take him long to realize that the escaping girl had something to do with the bite. It wasn't lipstick that was on her lips, it was blood! With an angry cry for not realizing it sooner, he ran after her, ordering GuShoShin and the boy to stay put. Maybe GuShoShin could handle the situation but he wasn't going to risk taking Hisoka against a vampire. He wasn't exactly pleased when he discovered Hisoka had ignored his instructions and was following him. 

"Bouya(3)! What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. 

"I can track down her consciousness while all you'll manage to do with all these people around is to lose her!" the boy informed him without even bothering to look at him. His reasoning made sense, Tsuzuki had to admit to himself. So maybe the kid knew how to make use of his empathy... "This way!" Hisoka exclaimed, taking the way to the left. Only a few steps through, the boy's eyes widened and they both felt like they had run into a psychic net of some sort that was quickly closing around them, trapping them and stopping their movements. Tsuzuki cursed as he realized they'd run straight into a Juso, a curse, this one of the paralysing type. Hisoka screamed and fell onto his knees. Tsuzuki, more used to this sort of thing, managed to dispel the Juso, but if he had to be fully honest with himself, the lingering effects of the paralysis were still affecting him, and he almost tripped over Hisoka. He looked around. No one. Apparently, whoever had attacked them had left. He knelt near the boy checking his status. The boy couldn't be that badly hurt from such a minor Juso and yet he was still kneeling on the ground, his arms tightly wrapped around himself and his shoulders trembling slightly. 

"Bouya? Are you well?" Tsuzuki asked him. The boy didn't give any sign he'd heard him, green eyes wide open as if he was in shock. Could it be the Juso had overloaded the boy's empathic senses? Juso and empathy didn't bond too well... It would also explain why the boy screamed when the Juso hit... That spell was planned to paralyse, not to hurt... "Hisoka?" He called again gently, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. The boy jerked away, panicking, and tried to stand, but ended up falling straight against Tsuzuki instead. At first he tried to struggle, moving uncoordinatedly, but Tsuzuki held him - not too tightly, but enough to stop Hisoka from hurting himself, then Hisoka seemed to recognize Tsuzuki and simply... slumped against him, trembling and clinging to the man's shirt. "It's okay, Hisoka. It was just a paralysing Juso. Its effects will vanish in few minutes. Don't worry, it's okay," Tsuzuki said, trying to reassure him. He wasn't too surprised by the boy's reaction to the Juso. He saw many going into complete panic when they found themselves paralysed by it, yet... there was something different this time. Hisoka was shaking his head frantically and mumbling something he couldn't understand at first. He frowned, his protective instinct kicking in, and moved the boy closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller form, and finally managed to make out few words. 

"**_HE_**... **_HIM_**... here... no... no... **_HIM_**..." It didn't make much sense at first, then... 

"You sensed who cast the Juso? That's what's... the problem, Hisoka?" The child managed to nod. Tsuzuki looked around as he slowly moved his hand to pick up a Fuda, a spell on his lips. "Is he still here?" he asked softly. Silence. A gulp. Then the boy shook his head and relaxed somewhat, as he realized he couldn't make out the presence anymore. Tsuzuki breathed in as well, relieved. He wasn't anxious to face a foe while under the lingering effects of paralysis and with Hisoka in a full panic crisis. Tsuzuki groaned as he heard GuShoShin calling them - the librarian had really good timing - and with some difficulty forced himself to stand, picking up Hisoka as well. The child had stopped shaking so much, but it seemed he was still in shock. That was bad. This Juso caster had to be someone definitely unpleasant to cause such a reaction in the young empath. 

"Tsuzuki-san, Hisoka-san, what happened?" GuShoShin asked. 

"We lost her," Tsuzuki admitted. "Someone helped her to escape and Hisoka..." He looked down at the pale youth in his arms. He looked completely defenceless. "I fear he twisted his ankle," he said firmly. No reason to embarrass his partner by telling GuShoShin the truth. "Let's go eat something," he suggested as he started to walk away, frowning. Since when he had started to consider the boy _'his partner'_? GuShoShin looked at him in confusion. Such serious behaviour wasn't Tsuzuki-san like at all. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. The _'Cinnapon Shop'_ showed up in the Anime (Ep. 1 **'Nagasaki Arc'**) and I've heard rumours saying it's a real shop and not just one made up for the Anime so I figured it make sense that Tsuzuki would still buy his sweets there. Oh, and if someone is wondering - no, in THIS fic Wakaba didn't buy them for him as she did in the Anime.

2. Kimura Masaki was an 18 year old boy who entered the Shokan-ka with the false name of Asuka. He was paired with Tsuzuki who discovered how the boy had hid his real identity and joined the Shinigami in order to protect his cousin Ayako. In the end Ayako was saved, Tsuzuki lost his bonus and Masaki sent back on training. BTW... Tsuzuki didn't normally call him _'Masaki-chan'_ in the time they were partnered, just _'Asuka'_ or, when he discovered his true identity, _'Masaki'_. He now called him _'Masaki-chan'_ as an extra reminder for Konoe of the fact the boy wanted to protect his cousin, who was the one who called him _'Masaki-chan'_.

3. In the manga, at first Tsuzuki called Hisoka simply _'bouya'_ (boy). 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
I don't particularly like this chap. Things just didn't want to turn out the way I wanted them to. Sorry about that.  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing this. Anyway... for those who want the basic differences...  
The manga starts with Tsuzuki reporting to Konoe. The man assigned him to the case and told him to join his new partner who's already on ChiJou. Tsuzuki went on ChiJou with GuShoShin younger, met Maria, discovered a corpse, followed Maria and was stopped in his run by a paralysing Juso used by Muraki. Tsuzuki freed himself from it but while he was still under its lingering effects Hisoka accused him to be the vampire who murdered twelve men (yes, in the manga the vampire killed only men). GuShoShin came and explained to the two that they were partners. That's it in short. So no, in the manga there's no group reunion, stakeout on ChiJou with Wakaba's help, cake eating, and a meeting with Muraki in the church. Oh, and in the manga, Hisoka's gun wasn't a real one. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Bouya:** Boy  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I'm glad you like the plot so far! As for Hisoka... well you've still a lot to see about him... Muraki messed him up pretty bad... 

To **Tenshiamanda**: Enma is a jerk and you haven't yet see what he's going to do. More Hisoka/Tsuzuki interaction is going to be in the next chap. I hope you will like it! 

To **kaori-chan**: I love when readers catch little details! How can I tell about who Enma's talking without giving away part of Tsuzuki's motivations?... Mn... let's say he's referring to something related to Tsuzuki's past. Gold star for who guess what he's talking about and why this should make Tsuzuki more interested in Hisoka. 

To **Zanzou Youko**: I'm glad you like this. This fic is 'printed' here on on on yaminomatsuei e-group and on Tsusoka e-group. So far others also suggested I get a beta reader but since no one volunteer no beta reader. Larania Drake was the only one who was so kind to beta for me _'Somewhere I belong'_ Prologue and Chap. 1 and for this I'm forever thankful to her. If someone will volunteer for betaing one or more chap of this fic and have time to do so (Please, **DON'T** volunteer if you've no time!) I'll be thankful to them as well and I will repost the betaed chapters. Plus, if this can encourage someone, beta readers get chap. in advance. Till no one volunteer I'm sorry but that's the best I can do with English grammar and I fear no one would understand much if I started to write this in Italian... 

To **Ctt**: I'm glad you like the twists and I'm sorry about the errors. Sadly that's the best I can do.

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Dinner and night in Nagasaki. Will, talking a little and sharing a bedroom, help things or will it turn them worst?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	4. Chap 3 Drowning

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 3: Drowning"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Everything is so complex  
Everyday is like a test full of obstacles  
That almost seem impossible  
And I'm thinking just another breath not a minute left.  
How long have I been drinking? _**

Pass the glass pint hit the flash light now break it.  
People say I'm a star but I still think ill never make it.  
And I'm thinking just another prayer not a second left.  
I feel there's something missing 

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me when all the answers I see go around me.  
Am I drowning?  
Am I fading away?  
Or am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way?  
Am I drowning?  
Am I drowning?  
Am I drowning?  
Am I drowning?"  
(Crazy Town - "Drowning") 

Hisoka seemed to wake up from his shock some time later, just when they were about to enter the restaurant. He was mortified and demanded to be put down. Tsuzuki complied, commenting that he was really cute when he blushed like that. This earned him a very frightened glance from the boy. He blinked, confused, than merely smiled down at him, said it was only a joke and gently pushed him inside. Somehow this boy was even more of a puzzle then he thought. 

They sat at a table apart from other people. Tsuzuki-san's choice could seem casual to an external observer but Hisoka sensed the man chose that table taking into account his empathy, and felt strangely touched by that. He sat silently in his seat, while GuShoShin and Tsuzuki-san argued over the food, refusing to look at both of them. He didn't eat much - to be exact he barely touched his food at all, as usual - and would have continued pretending to eat probably till the other two hadn't finished their dinner, hadn't Tsuzuki-san noticed all he was doing with his chopsticks was to rearrange what was in his plate. 

He sensed, more than saw, the man looking at him with those purple eyes in an unusually sharp and attentive manner and, in order to stop all the unwanted attention, glanced up from his plate and asked what the hell the man wanted. It turned out a bit more rude than he'd planned, more... defensive and somehow dangerously close to hysteria. He feared to know what the man could want from him. Yet Tsuzuki-san managed to surprise him, asking if he could have his food since it seemed Hisoka wasn't going to eat it. He muttered an _'idiot'_ so low Tsuzuki-san couldn't possibly hear it and passed him the plate. Tsuzuki took it happily and suggested that Hisoka should order something more to his liking. 

"I'm not particularly hungry." Hisoka replied. As GuShoShin started fussing over him he clenched his fists in frustration. All those emotions pouring over him were starting to make him feel nauseous. 

"Stop it, GuShoShin. It's not his fault if bouya doesn't like Chinese Cuisine(1)," Tsuzuki-san commented while stuffing himself. GuShoShin accused Tsuzuki-san of being insensitive and uncaring towards his new partner, but somehow Hisoka was ready to bet that the man had understood his distress and focused the attention on himself to free him from it. GuShoShin and Tsuzuki-san went on arguing for a bit longer before Tsuzuki-san sent GuShoShin to get them something to drink. 

"No one will notice he's... not human?" Hisoka asked, starting a conversation for the first time. To him it was amazing to watch GuShoShin moving in between people and none of them realizing he wasn't like them.(2) 

"No one. It's weird, I know." Tsuzuki-san assured him. He felt the man's eyes staring at him again and he turned to face him, frowning, faking annoyance in order to hide his nervousness. It was the first time he and Tsuzuki-san were face to face without someone else from the office around. 

"What?" He asked. 

"You don't know how to shield from others' feelings, do you?" It was more of a statement of fact than a question. "Didn't they think to teach you how to handle your empathy in that office you came from?" The man inquired. Hisoka tried to decipher Tsuzuki-san's feelings at that but his emotions were somehow... _'distant'_... as if he couldn't reach them and it confused him. 

"All they taught me was how to organize reports," he informed him in a neutral tone. He didn't think his empathy could be _'handled'_. He was so used to others' feelings filling him that he couldn't even dream to be free of them. The pain they carried was part of him, of his everyday life. It had been present for so long he couldn't conceive of the fact that he could be freed of it. 

"From organizing reports to field work. Quite a change, isn't it?" Hisoka shrugged, not really knowing what the other expected him to say. It wasn't like he had a real choice. It wasn't like he'd ever had a real choice. Enma wanted him in the Shokan-ka and Hisoka had known that he would have ended stuck there sooner or later. He'd accepted only because he'd seen no other possible choice in the long run. Oh, and because a tiny, childish side of him hoped Enma would allow him to leave once he had satisfied him in solving this case. Not that he really believed it would really happen. His hopes had been crushed too many times in the past. Yet... 

GuShoShin returned with the drinks. Hisoka eyed his drink suspiciously. He had ordered it to prove to Tsuzuki-san he wasn't a kid but he had never tried alcohol before. He didn't really know why he was doing it. He'd stopped trying to prove anything to anyone after his parents started calling him a bakemono. So why did he want to impress this man? Why did he talk to him? It wouldn't change a thing anyway. 

"Kacho said you're 16. What was it, a motor accident?" Tsuzuki-san asked casually, interrupting his line of thought. GuShoShin glared at him murmuring it was rude to ask that, but Hisoka didn't mind. 

"Illness," he replied. "An incurable disease. **_NU_**... **_SENSEI_** gave up on it." Yet **_HE_** still found it fascinating to study him as if he was a bug under a microscope... **_HE_** had been almost enthusiastic to observe how his disease progressed... ecstatic as the disease was his own little pet project, his child... and not scared at all that it could be contagious... In fact **_HE_** had continued to... **_HE_** had continued to... till the end **_HE_** had continued to... As memories became too painful to bear, he ignored Tsuzuki-san's apologies and his wondering look as if he couldn't believe he had been killed by a disease, and picked up his glass, empting it all in one single gulp. His throat burned, his eyes watered, his vision blurred and he tried to stand before passing out in front of his partner and GuShoShin. And since when he considered the man _'his partner'_?... 

* * *

... Since **_HE_** was on him, ripping his clothes with a satisfied expression, mocking with **_HIS_** words his pitiful attempts to escape. He struggled, trying to free himself and was immediately slapped, hard. There was no freedom for him, there never would be. He stilled, sobbing, as **_THE MAN_** took delight in binding him and then... then **_HE_** took him harder than usual. He cried, cried hard and screamed but he knew he was trapped, he knew there was no hope nor help and... and... 

* * *

... And he woke up screaming as Tsuzuki-san was shaking him. He felt his stomach roil as waves of nausea hit him and somehow he managed to push the man away and to find his way to the bathroom rapidly where he retched painfully, coughing and still sobbing. He felt Tsuzuki-san kneeling near him after ordering GuShoShin to do something - he didn't understand what - sustaining him and comforting him as he retched again and felt himself so weak that he felt he could slide on the floor and never get up. But Tsuzuki-san didn't allow him to fall. Instead, he held him and helped him when the nausea returned a few seconds later, so even though he had nothing more in his stomach, it insisted in trying to empty itself further. 

Slowly the nausea regressed and he found himself being picked up by Tsuzuki-san again. He didn't complain. He had no strength for it or for stopping his tears from falling. His stomach hurt and he had just embarrassed himself more than he thought was possible. His partner sat on an armchair, holding him close to his chest. The man was warm, his emotions strong but at the same time not overly invasive as if he could... control them if he chose to. He felt him placing a warm drink against his lips. Hisoka turned his face - after what happened he didn't think he would want to ever drink or eat something again, but the man insisted stubbornly and in the end he drank a few sips of the warm tea. It helped somehow. 

He tried to stand but Tsuzuki-san kept him sitting on his lap, forcing him to finish his tea, and then wrapping him into a blanket. He blinked, than realized the man planned to make him sleep there, in his arms. He weakly tried to get up again, protesting he wasn't a child. He probably wouldn't have managed to rise even if Tsuzuki-san hadn't kept him down. 

"I know you're not but you're sick and it's my duty to take care of my partner." 

Hisoka frowned. He refused to be babied and he said so quite clearly. He didn't want to be helpless in someone else's hands ever again. He managed to escape the man's grasp and to stand on his own for ten seconds flat before feeling sick again and, hadn't been for Tsuzuki-san who carried him back to the bathroom, he probably would have retched on the floor this time. 

He refused to look at the man at first, panting and coughing on the bathroom floor, but apparently his unfriendly behaviour wouldn't free him from Tsuzuki-san, he realized as he trembled from the cold. Thank Kami-sama at least GuShoShin had the good sense to not come to the bathroom to enjoy the show he was giving. 

"Better now?" His partner asked gently. Hisoka felt tears coming to his eyes again but stubbornly refused to shed them. The man was caring for him. No one ever had before. He didn't know how to deal with it - he only knew it made his heart melt and made him wish he could forget himself and cling to Tsuzuki-san forever, hiding against him from the world like a child would do. But he was a Kurosaki and he would never be allowed to do that. 

"I'm fine. I'm used to it," he managed to mutter dismissively, doing his best to keep his voice steady, not realizing he was revealing more about himself than he really wanted to. Tsuzuki pretended he didn't hear the last sentence. 

"It's ok, Hisoka. Alcohol can do this," he said gently, rubbing his shivering back comfortingly. Only, the kind gesture didn't comfort Hisoka. The affection in his partner's emotions was so painfully obvious and increased by the contact that he couldn't handle it. He wanted it, he yearned for it and yet he knew he wasn't supposed to accept it, and it hurt so bad he didn't think he could deal with it. 

"Stop that! I don't want your pity or your help! I don't need anyone's help!" he screamed in frustration as he found himself unable to stop his tears from falling. He didn't want to cry, he refused to cry - so why he was bawling like a baby? Tsuzuki-san didn't abandon him even after his rude words; on the contrary, his partner... his partner wrapped him back in the blanket and then tried again to pick him up. He struggled at first, scared even if he didn't know exactly what he feared, trying to push him away - then gave up and let him, clinging to Tsuzuki-san and hiding his face against his shirt. He just couldn't take it anymore. His partner didn't push him away at that but merely held him, murmuring soothing words, his kind emotions wrapping all around Hisoka like a protective shield, lulling him slowly back to sleep again. 

* * *

"Has Hisoka-san calmed down?" GuShoShin asked long after the sobs stopped. 

"It seems so. He's sleeping now," Tsuzuki informed him, gently brushing Hisoka's hair. "GuShoShin?" 

"Yes, Tsuzuki-san?" 

"If someone asks you, nothing happened this night, ok?" GuShoShin nodded. Tsuzuki gave him a quick smile before he returned smoothing Hisoka's hair as if it was the only thing which mattered to him at the moment. GuShoShin stared at him. At first he had thought this, as the many partnerships Tsuzuki-san had had previously, would never work. It wasn't as if he disliked Tsuzuki-san, it was just... Tsuzuki-san knew how to drive anyone to insanity very quickly, and he had seemed to completely lack any tact around Hisoka-san, as if he wanted the boy to dislike him. Yet he had seen how Tsuzuki-san reacted when they found out how Hisoka-san had been killed by a Juso that took 3 years to finish him out. The poor boy had been kidnapped at thirteen and abused several times, probably by the same man who used the Juso against him, but the worst part was that Hisoka-san's family never bothered to search for him because they saw Hisoka-san's empathy as a cursed power and were repulsed by it. GuShoShin's work was to arrange Enma-Cho's library files and often read unpleasant stories, but this one... hit him hard and it seemed it hit Tsuzuki-san hard as well if how he was mothering the boy right then was a hint. 

"Tsuzuki-san... Hisoka-san's reaction may be due to the Juso that killed him?" He asked, wishing he could be of some use but not knowing what to do. Tsuzuki-san was a lazy worker but he was also the one with the best Jujutsu knowledge. If there was anyone in JuOhCho who could answer the question it was him. 

"No idea, GuShoShin." He muttered tiredly. "No idea." The boy had way too many issues. Probably the Juso had a part in Hisoka's distress but even without it, he doubted the boy wouldn't have nightmares after what had happened to him. He closed his eyes tiredly. He didn't want to think of that. There was nothing he could do to undo it. "How's the research I asked you to do going?" he asked, changing topic. 

"Slowly. The network is having trouble tonight. I hope it isn't Watari-san messing with it again." 

"Great, just great." Tsuzuki murmured, hiding his face in his hand. He'd just discovered his partner had not simply been mistreated by his family as Enma had told him, but had also been kidnapped, abused and killed with a curse that took 3 years and a lot of pain before finishing its work. It was no wonder the boy was an emotional rollercoaster, first as emotionless and cold as the north pole, than scared and on the brink of panic and finally sobbing and clingy. To complicate matters even further, Enma sent him on fieldwork without training in Jujutsu or at least the basic knowledge of how to deal with his empathy. 

Tsuzuki wondered if the Juso still connected Hisoka to his murderer and if that was what Enma had meant when he'd said he didn't know where the boy's loyalty lay. He sighed. He should send his partner back to ShinKou-Cho and forget about him. Yet, as Hisoka snuggled closer to him in his sleep, moaning, he knew he couldn't do it. He'd never be able to push the youth away so he'd better solve this case soon and carry him back to Meifu. After a case like this Hisoka would probably be eager to return to his old office and the problem would be solved on its own. He looked down at the child fondly. He wasn't so anxious to have this particular _'problem'_ solved... in fact he would have liked to be allowed to... 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Yes, I know the guys are in Japan but what they ate was Chinese cuisine.

2. I never, never got how GuShoShin can sometimes move around in ChiJou without people noticing he's a chicken-like creature. I was going to make a wild guess and hypothesize he had a spell on him that made him invisible or something to human eyes but then I remembered that on the Queen Camellia, people saw him when he pretended to be a doll and stopped noticing him when he carried Hisoka's drink so... I guess I'll leave it a mystery as it is in the manga/anime. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
No, I never got drunk, only saw people feeling sick after being drunk so my description of Hisoka's sickness can be inaccurate but please take in consideration Hisoka isn't feeling sick just due to the alcohol but also due to his nightmares...  
As for the armchair... well the manga didn't show every corner of the hotel room they're in so there could be an armchair somewhere in the room.  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz printed the first YnM volume recently I guess now there are much more people knowing about this. Anyway... for who wants the basic differences...  
In the manga Tsuzuki started arguing with GuShoShin after he told Hisoka Tsuzuki isn't an elite. Somehow Hisoka got involved in the arguing (the two weren't paying him attention) and ended up drunk. Tsuzuki carried Hisoka to bed and since he found him cute, wondered if he should kiss him. GuShoShin insisted he had to try to get along with Hisoka, Tsuzuki replied he'd try but he doubted he'd manage. While Tsuzuki was reading the case report he saw GuShoShin working on his computer. He looked at what he was doing and read one of the new cases GuShoShin was inserting. It turned out to be Hisoka's case so he discovered how Hisoka died. He chose not to tell Hisoka the truth because he didn't think Hisoka could handle it right then. GuShoShin suggested Tsuzuki should return back to work but Tsuzuki turned on the tv instead, saw Maria Won, recognized her and asked GuShoShin to investigate something for him. That's it in short. So no, in the manga there's no fight between Tsuzuki and Hisoka over food and Tsuzuki discovered sooner how Hisoka died. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Bakemono:** Monster  
**Bouya:** Boy  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Juso:** Curse  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Kami:** God  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Sensei:** Doctor  
**ShinKou-Cho:** "Office ShinKou". In 1st district of JuOhCho. It controls Okinawa's territory  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **EmmaB**: Thanks for the info! It was really aprecciated! 

To **Tenshiamanda**: Sorry, no, it's not Hijiri. The timeline this time is almost exactly the same of the manga (if you skip what Muraki did to Hisoka and the differences it caused in the Nagasaki arc). Hint: the resemblance Tsuzuki is talking about isn't physical. As for Hisoka... well Tsuzuki will try to protect him the best he could... 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I hope your pc will stop to act weird soon! I'm happy to hear you like this chap! As for who did Hisoka remind Tsuzuki of it will be revealed only in chap 9/10 unless someone guess it first... 

To **Wakaba-sama**: Sorry but no, not everyone in JuOhCho is a Shinigami. The manga repeats it many times:  
_'In the land of the dead Meifu, there is a bureaucratic organization that is in charge of judging the dead of their past deeds. That is JuOhCho. In that, Enma-Cho which is controlled by the God of Hell Enma DaiOh is the top bureau. Those who work in Enma-Cho Shokan-ka are otherwise known as Shinigami.'_  
**(Vol. 1 - Mukougishi no Futari)**  
Plus, as explained in the **'JuOhCho Basics Lecture'** there are only 18 Shinigami while JuOhCho residents are much more. It's not sure if Konoe and Tatsumi can be considered Shinigami either since in **'Yami no Matsuei Character Book'** they're not listed as Shinigami but respectively as Kacho (chief) and Kacho Hisho (chief's secretary). In this fic however I'll consider them as Shinigami.

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Tsuzuki will have to deal with Hisoka's reactions to the past night and the start of the investigation... Will it be one of his best morning or one of his worst?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	5. Chap 4 Don't you see!

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 4: Don't you see!"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Tomodachi ni tegami wo kaku toki mitai ni  
Surasura to kotoba ga dete kureba ii no ni  
Mou sukoshi o-tagai wo shiriau ni wa jikan ga hoshii  
Uragiranai no wa kazoku dake nante  
Sabishisugiru yo Love is asking to be loved  
Shinjiru koto wo yamete shimaeba raku ni natte wakaru kedo _**

Don't you see! Negatte mo inotte mo kiseki omoide  
Sukoshi wa ki ni kakete  
Don't you see! Chotto sameta furi wo suru kuse wa  
Kizutsuku no ga kowai kara"  
("In spite that it would be nice if words flow out to me  
Like when one writes a letter to a friend  
I want some time to know each other a little more  
That the only one who won't betray you is your family  
Is too lonely a thing Love is asking to be loved  
I know I'll be happy if I stop believing but 

Don't you see! Even if I ask and pray for miracles and memories  
I worry a little  
Don't you see! Even if I have a habit of pretending to be cold  
I'm afraid to be hurt")  
(Zard - "Don't you see!")(1) 

He woke up slowly, sensing a progressive lack of warmth. Moaning, he curled up under the covers, hiding from the light entering from the open window. He heard soft noises, lingering emotions that merely brushed his senses without forcing themselves on him. He felt strangely lonely as his mind unconsciously searched for a presence, a presence he longed to be close to and... and he squeezed his eyes shut with a whimper as his headache intensified. 

"Hisoka-san?" someone called. He refused to listen, refused to awake fully, curling tightly in on himself. Apart from his pounding headache he was feeling fairly well compared to his usual standards. He didn't want everything to change once he opened his eyes. He didn't want to wake up and discover that he was still in **_HIS_** grasp and... 

He started trembling as someone partially uncovered him, curling in a tight ball. No, please, keep **_HIM_** away from him... please... please... 

"Bouya?" a tired male voice called. He didn't recognize it at first, and curled up tighter in fear. "Hisoka? Are you well?" the same voice asked in a kinder tone as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder. It didn't sound like **_HIS_** voice at all and yet he still didn't dare to answer or to open his eyes. "Hisoka!" The voice called again, this time laced with worry. The voice wasn't **_HIS_**, he realized and yet it sounded familiar. Hesitantly, Hisoka forced his eyes to open a bit just to check who was calling him. Could it be...? 

"Tsuzuki?" he asked, almost pleaded, in a quiet whimper. 

"That's my name, bouya," the man replied, smiling down at him as he sat on the bed, one of his strong hands gently brushing the boy's cheek, and Hisoka wasn't sure if the overwhelming relief he was feeling was his own or Tsuzuki's. Hisoka just stared at him, keeping perfectly still, unsure about what he should do. Why had Tsuzuki... Why had Tsuzuki-san been worried about him? Why did Tsuzuki-san feel relief when he answered him? Why was Tsuzuki-san being kind to him? Why, instead of being scared or at least wary, he simply blushed when the man caressed his cheek as if he trusted him? Why had he called him merely _'Tsuzuki'_? Why did he want him to stay close to him? Why? A tiny whimper escaped from his lips as his headache increased again. 

"How do you feel?" Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki-san immediately asked, frowning as he seemed to realize his distress and worrying about it, his hand immediately moving to his forehead as if to check if he had a temperature. 

"Fine," he lied. His head hurt and the light hurt his eyes, not to mention how his stomach felt, but it was better than usual anyway. Besides, a Kurosaki didn't go around telling how bad he felt. He had learned long ago what the consequences of revealing a weakness could be. **_HE_** had taught him that. And anyway, it wasn't like Tsuzuki-san could really care. He blinked when he noticed Tsuzuki-san was frowning at him, his look now so different from the childish, cheerful one he had back in Enma-Cho, or the gentle, caring one he'd had a few seconds before. It was the serious look of an adult who'd caught a child lying to him and wasn't pleased by it. He was tempted to shrink back, but he couldn't feel anger from the man - only worry tinged with disappointment, and this couldn't be possible because no reasonable person would worry over something - not _'someone'_, but _'something'_ - as useless and cursed as him, and yet the feeling was there, he could feel it clearly, amplified by the contact of the man's hand now resting on his shoulder. 

"Never lie to me about how you are. It'll only get us both in trouble. Even better, never lie to me at all," Tsuzuki-san warned him. Hisoka's instinct wanted to rebel at that, he refused to submit to someone else's will, he refused to submit to another being ever again, but his words of rebellion died in his throat. He didn't dare to voice them. He knew what had happened when he rebelled before. First his parents closed him in the basement and then **_NUSHI-SAMA_**... He turned his gaze away, stubbornly refusing to cry. 

Tsuzuki frowned even more as he guessed what was going on inside Hisoka's mind. He wanted to comfort the youth, to hug him and tell him everything would be better, but he knew it wouldn't work. It was too early for Hisoka to trust him. All he could do was to help the boy to not indulge in those dark thoughts. So he did what he knew best. He forced back a sigh, his worry and his sadness, and smiled cheerfully at Hisoka as if he had completely forgotten their discussion. 

"So, how are you?" he asked again. 

"My head throbs slightly," Hisoka reluctantly admitted, eyeing him warily. He hated his weakness, the fear he felt at the thought of challenging him. Yet he couldn't see anything dangerous in the smiling man sitting right next to him, and this puzzled him. His instinct was clearly telling him that despite his childish antics, his jokes and his apparently caring attitude the older Shinigami **_was_** dangerous - very, very dangerous, almost lethal, like a beast ready to leap at the throat of its prey - and yet it also insisted that he was safe around Tsuzuki, like a puppy around its mother, and he didn't understand this as he didn't understand how the man could jump from an emotion to another, from one behaviour to the other effortlessly. 

"Can't hold your alcohol yet, eh bouya?" Tsuzuki was saying, still smiling at him as he would have done with a younger friend he cared for. "Only juice for you from now on,"(2) the man added jokingly. Hisoka lowered his gaze, ashamed, blushing. Now that he thought about it, the whole night had been a very embarrassing episode. Next time he wanted to impress Tsuzuki he would avoid trying to show him he could handle alcohol. Now that he thought about it, he still couldn't figure out why he wanted to impress Tsuzuki in the first place. It wasn't like the man cared about what he did. He was so lost in those thoughts he almost jumped when he felt Tsuzuki's hand stroking his hair. "You'll get better soon, don't worry," the man reassured him. He blinked as he felt no trace of the joking emotions present only seconds before, but merely a feeling of overwhelming care that made him wish he could drown in it. 

* * *

_'Soon'_, apparently, didn't mean half an hour later, when Hisoka had managed to find the strength to rise from the bed - because the world around him had spun so much he hadn't been able to keep his balance and he had thrown up. What, Hisoka had no idea... in the last twenty four hours, all he'd had was the tea Tsuzuki had forced him to drink the night before. 

Right now he was sitting in the armchair, a wet cloth on his forehead and Tsuzuki's coat wrapped around him, trying to ignore all the emotions that came from the people in and out of the hotel that were only increasing his sense of nausea. 

He felt and looked positively miserable, and had he possessed the strength to do so, he would have died again of embarrassment. He was such a burden... He had always been a burden... His parents had been right to close him in the basement, hiding their shame from the rest of the world... 

Tsuzuki, however, wasn't complaining. He had dismissed GuShoShin, sending him back to Meifu, explaining they would handle the rest of the investigation by themselves (how, Hisoka had no idea), had given Hisoka some medicine to make him feel better and was now waiting patiently for him to be in shape to at least walk. He wondered if the man was so patient because he was being kind to him or because he didn't want to work. Probably the latter. Unless he had something else planned on his agenda... 

"Tsuzuki-san... how exactly will we handle the investigation by ourselves?" he asked suspiciously, a cold feeling settling inside him as the medicine started to take effect. 

"Well... for a start, we'll visit the TV Studio," Tsuzuki-san told him enthusiastically, as if they were in Nagasaki for sightseeing and not for work. 

"This has something to do with the investigation?" Hisoka asked, doubtfully. 

"Sure! Don't you trust your partner?" Tsuzuki-san asked in an almost pouting tone, apparently acting childishly again. 

"I trust no one,"(3) Hisoka stated, his voice empty. Tsuzuki-san blinked, then dragged a chair in front of him and sat down on it, observing him curiously. "What?" he snapped, trying to sound irritated, but it came out more like a whine than anything else. 

"You're trying to be mean to me again. Why?" Tsuzuki-san asked in a definitely pouting manner. Hisoka frowned. He didn't like it when Tsuzuki-san behaved like a kid. It made him feel like he was the adult of the pair of them, and even if he desperately wanted to be an independent adult, he knew he wasn't ready for that responsibility yet. 

"And you're messing with my head again," Hisoka accused, ignoring Tsuzuki-san's question. "First you're one way, then you're the other, then you change again and then you expect me to sort this all up. What exactly do you want from me, Tsuzuki-san?" Now he was whining and he hated himself for it. 

"Where did you get the idea that I want something from you?" Tsuzuki-san asked, switching back effortlessly to serious mode again. 

"Everyone always wanted something from me. Why should you be any different?" Hisoka replied, slipping into his _'empty mode'_. Why should he try to figure this man out? He was unlikely to be any different from the others he'd met before. It was better to set things straight right from the beginning, so at least, he wouldn't delude himself. "Is it my body that you want? Is that why you're playing nice and you sent away GuShoShin? Then take it and then let's finish the case. I want to go back to Meifu." He closed his eyes in exhaustion. He was tired, he felt sick and he was dead scared that he might meet **_HIM_**. He wasn't looking forward to being raped by Tsuzuki-san, but nothing the man could do would be worse than what **_HE_** would do to him, should he fall again into **_HIS_** grasp. He merely wanted to... not be, and he wasn't allowed even that. 

He felt Tsuzuki-san taking his hands into his. His hands were small and cold but somehow they... fit well in Tsuzuki-san's warm and bigger ones. As if they had been made just to stay there. In Tsuzuki-san's grasp. 

"Hisoka. Hisoka, look at me." There was urgency in Tsuzuki-san's voice and in his feelings, as well as worry. He opened tired green eyes and stared at serious, purple ones. He'd never figured out how Tsuzuki could have purple eyes, but the fact didn't particularly matter to him. Nothing particularly mattered to him. He was tired. Couldn't Tsuzuki-san take what he wanted from him and then let him be? Apparently not. He felt the man's thumbs rub his hands gently. It felt oddly nice. 

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki-san said again, trying to catch his attention. "Hisoka, I'm not trying to take advantage of you, I swear it. I help you because you're my partner, nothing else. All I expect from you is that you'll tell me how you are, that you'll do your work and that you'll be a bit more polite. Nothing more." 

"Is it because I'm not your type, Tsuzuki-san?" Hisoka asked, and for the afterlife of him, he couldn't figure out why he'd asked **_that_**. 

"It's because I'm not into forcing people to have sex with me. And just Tsuzuki is fine," Tsuzuki-san... Tsuzuki said. He sounded honest. He felt honest. It was too good to be true, so it probably wasn't true but for now... it would do. Hisoka shrugged, trying to hide that Tsuzuki's words had meant everything to him. Tsuzuki sighed, then continued the previous discussion as if that little _'interlude'_ had never taken place. 

"Do you remember yesterday's girl?" Hisoka nodded. Tsuzuki picked up a paper from the table and showed it to Hisoka. On it, there was printed the picture of a pretty Chinese girl. "Do you know this girl?" Hisoka looked at her. 

"She seems familiar but..." He shook his head. He couldn't really remember where he saw her before. 

"She's Maria Won. She's a quite famous singer." Hisoka frowned, then remembered. 

"Oh yes. In the Shinkou-Cho there were a lot of her fans.(4) One had even had her calendar or something. Her last success is based on a poem by Emily Dickinson, isn't it?" Hisoka liked reading English poems and he'd recognized that particular one as soon as he'd heard the song.(5) Tsuzuki blinked, confused. 

"Well... I've no idea if it's based on a poem or not since it's in English and so I can't really understand much,"(6) Tsuzuki admitted. "Anyway, she's here in Nagasaki for the Uta Matsuri." 

"Please tell me we aren't going there because you want her autograph. I had to deal with enough insane idol fans at the Shinkou-Cho. I think I've had enough." In truth, Hisoka's problem had been that the fans' emotions at Shinkou-Cho had been too strong for him to ignore, causing him headaches at best, especially since many of Maria's fans had had not exactly pure thoughts about her. The feelings of lust they gave out while looking at her pictures always awoke painful memories in Hisoka... 

"Not really, even if it wouldn't be a bad idea..." Hisoka glared. Tsuzuki ignored his glare and showed him another picture saying, "Here, watch the magic of computers." This picture showed another girl with no make up, empty eyes and long hair falling freely on her shoulders. 

"This one looks like yesterday's girl..." Hisoka admitted. 

"This one is Maria Won too," Tsuzuki said, showing him the previous picture again. "I had GuShoShin working on this a little with the computer and that's the result. It's amazing how make-up can make a woman look like a different person, isn't it?"(7) Hisoka compared the two pictures. Yes, now that he looked carefully he could see they were the same person. 

"But that's ridiculous. Why would she do something like that?" Hisoka asked, frowning. 

"That's what we're here to investigate. I checked - well, GuShoShin checked for me - and the vampire-murders and Maria's arrival in Japan happened at around the same time." Hisoka looked back again at the two pictures. It seemed possible. 

"And when did you two research all of this?" he asked, feeling left out and not understanding that feeling at all. 

"While you were sleeping in my arms last night," Tsuzuki said, ruffling his hair before getting up. "You were really cute, by the way," he added, as Hisoka blushed profusely. He should have been worried at Tsuzuki's innuendo and yet, as the man had touched him, he had sensed it was merely another joke, nothing to be scared about. Something he would say to someone he felt affection for. Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki, blinking. No one had ever felt interest for him that way. It caused him to have so many mixed feelings he didn't know how to deal with them all. Tsuzuki offered him his hand. "Do you feel well enough to go now, Hisoka?" the man asked. Hisoka stared at Tsuzuki's hand, then, hesitantly, took it and got up. At first his head spun a bit, but then he managed to steady himself. He was okay - well, as okay as he could be. 

"I'm fine," he said, looking up at Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki smiled down at him, and let his hand go. Somehow, Hisoka found himself missing the contact. 

"Very well then, lets go." Tsuzuki handed Hisoka his jacket as the boy gave him back his coat, then the pair walked out of the hotel room. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. **'Don't you see!'** was **'Dragonball GT'** second ending.

2. This was, more or less, what Tsuzuki told Hisoka in the manga and in the anime.

3. I couldn't resist referring to the **'X files'** motto... It sounds so fitting for Hisoka...

4. Honestly, I couldn't figure out how Hisoka knew about Maria Won in the regular series... It's weird picturing that he'd heard about her while he was in Kamakura, and apparently while he was in the hospital he should have been in terrible pain, so I doubt he would have had time to look at Chinese singers. It makes sense that he heard about her after he died. In this fic it makes even more sense since I doubt Muraki would have allowed him to listen to music.

5. Every time we see Hisoka with a book it is a foreign one. I figured it would have been natural for him reading one by Emily Dickinson.

6. In **'King of Swords'** we see Tsuzuki can't speak English.

7. Another thing I wondered is how Tsuzuki got a picture of Maria Won in _'Vampire mode'_ in the manga. That's my guess. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Astute readers may have noticed how Hisoka keeps switching from 'Tsuzuki-san' to 'Tsuzuki' and vice versa. Sharp readers may also remember how in the manga/anime Hisoka ALWAYS simply called his partner just 'Tsuzuki'. So... Hisoka here calls him 'Tsuzuki-san' because with the most polite honorific he tries to keep distance. Unconsciously he switches to Tsuzuki when he wants him to be close. Actually Tsuzuki had asked him to call him just Tsuzuki. However Hisoka will switch again to 'Tsuzuki-san' when he doesn't trust him. I hope this makes things clear. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Bouya:** Boy  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Shinigami:** "God of death", "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**ShinKou-Cho:** "Office ShinKou". In the 1st district of JuOhCho. It controls Okinawa's territory  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu  
**Uta Matsuri:** Song Festival

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Alanna Evelyn**: LOL! Everything for Tsuzuki! The man is just worth to die for! 

To **Tenshiamanda**: Well... beside the physical resemblance Hijiri and Hisoka have nothing in common. If it can help there was a suggestion in a previous chap... I'm happy to hear you like the chap! 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: No, it's not Masaki and it isn't an original character either even if the resemblance lies in how I see this other character... Glad you like this chap! 

To **Zanzou Youko**: And it's all thanks to Lothlorien's help! Really, I own her a lot!

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Partnership troubles, annoying Enma, missing Hisoka and Muraki-san coming to say hi! Really, afterlife isn't easy for Tsuzuki...

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	6. Chap 5 Long Way Down

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 5: Long Way Down"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Oh here you are, there's nothing left to say  
You're not supposed to be that way  
Did they push you out? did they throw you away?  
Touch me now and I don't care  
When you take me I'm not there  
Almost human, but I'll never be the same _**

Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own  
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone  
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own 

I never put you down, I never pushed you away  
You're not supposed to be that way  
And anything you want, there's nothing I could say 

Is there anything to feel?  
Is it pain that makes you real?  
Cut me off before it kills me"  
(Goo Goo Dolls - "Long Way Down") 

Hisoka sighed, he didn't know if in relief or in exasperation. They were back in Enma-Cho. They hadn't discovered much in the studio besides that Maria _'felt'_ exactly like the girl they met near the crime scene. Maybe they would have discovered more hadn't Maria's mother caught them and kicked them out. Hisoka was still suffering the lingering effects of how his empathy had reacted to her excessive anger, even if he was doing his best to not show it. He groaned. And why had she discovered them? Because Tsuzuki had to go and talk to Maria. Really, the man was beyond Hisoka's comprehension. 

Anyway, now that he was back in Meifu he felt safe enough, and he hoped he could stay there now that they had a suspect. He'd had the impression (but probably he was only being paranoid, he hoped he was being paranoid) **_HE_** had been around when they were just out of the studio, and the sensation had be so strong he had unconsciously gripped Tsuzuki's arm. It hadn't helped that he'd also had the feeling that Tsuzuki too felt _'something'_, even if the man had denied it later. Anyway, he was really hoping he shouldn't have to go back to ChiJou. Of course, his hopes were shattered when Enma-Cho's database reported that their suspect had killed herself around two months ago, which was quite unbelievable since they had seen her in ChiJou a few hours ago and she hadn't looked like a rotting corpse. 

Hisoka didn't like the whole story in general and he liked it even less when Tsuzuki just... vanished before their meeting with Kacho. He didn't know why the absence of Tsuzuki bothered him so much, but he just felt... hurt, betrayed even if he had no reason to be so. He felt even more... _'uneasy'_ when Konoe entered the room asking for the promised update over the investigation, and an inexplicable relief when Tsuzuki showed up again a second before Konoe started talking. 

Tsuzuki didn't offer any explanation or apology about his absence and merely started reporting to Konoe. The two started a long discussion about Kyonshi and burial grounds, while Hisoka felt cut out and forgotten. He didn't really understand much about what the two were talking about, his supernatural knowledge being too low, but even without it, he had no problem understanding Maria was being manipulated by someone, and this meant it wasn't enough that they had discovered Maria's involvement, they also had to track down her... puppet master. He shuddered at the idea of returning back to ChiJou, but Tsuzuki didn't even seem to notice and this... hurt. He frowned. He wasn't going to let this hurt him. It was okay if Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki_-san_ didn't care about him, since when did anyone? 

Realizing Tsuzuki_-san_ and Konoe-Kacho were probably going to continue discussing the supernatural aspects of the case, completely oblivious of his presence, he hurriedly got up, announced he was going to continue the investigation on his own, leaving Tsuzuki_-san_ free to handle it how he preferred as well, and gave him an appointment time at the first place that came to mind. He wanted to be out of there. He was a Kurosaki. A Kurosaki didn't beg for attention from his partner. A Kurosaki didn't need it. A Kurosaki didn't desperately wish for it... He felt Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki_-san_'s exasperation before closing the door but tried to not pay him any attention. So Tsuzuki_-san_ considered him a child, undeserving of consideration, someone he could abandon in the middle of an investigation - without even an explanation - and pick up later, after he'd had his fun or whatever else he did when he was away, just because he had little or no knowledge about zombies, vampires and things like that? Hisoka swallowed. He would show him. He would show him and... and what? What was he desperately hoping to get from Tsuzuki? Why did he crave the older man's attention so much? 

He had no idea and he feared he would never discover it. 

* * *

It was hard to not pay attention to the fact that Hisoka was late. He chewed his apple pie, trying to enjoy its taste and not worry about the boy. He could understand that Hisoka had been mad at him because he had vanished just before the meeting with Konoe. He had his reasons to do so, of course. Enma liked regular reports and he couldn't just make him wait without warning like he did with Konoe. It had been troublesome enough to make up an excuse to postpone his report so he wouldn't have to leave Hisoka to deal with Konoe alone. He would have liked to apologize for his absence but he couldn't really do it without offering an explanation, and he couldn't explain without revealing something he wasn't supposed to. He had been tempted to make up a lie but... but Hisoka was an empath and would have realized it. His extra work for Enma was a matter between him and the lord of Meifu only. He wasn't allowed to talk about it with others and Enma had a not nice and very definitive way to get rid of people who knew too much. 

He sighed as he swallowed some more pie. He could also understand that the boy felt cut out during the discussion since no one had bothered to give him some information about Jujutsu and supernatural phenomena. He couldn't help that. 

He sighed again as he glanced at his wristwatch for the nth time. He would have been better off not doing it since every time he only got more worried but he just couldn't resist. He took another piece of apple pie. Of course, even if he could understand Hisoka's reasons, in the end, they weren't good enough to leave him to work alone. They were partners after all, he had promised Enma that he would keep an eye on the boy and... and once Hisoka was out of his sight he couldn't help but worry for him. Without power, without knowledge, without strength or the ability to control his own empathy well, the boy was an easy target. Not that there was any reason to target him and yet... He checked his watch again. Okay, so he too was rarely on time but it was 4:00 PM and they were supposed to have met an hour ago. He just knew he should have tracked Hisoka down immediately after he finished talking with Konoe, but he had thought some time alone would be good for the boy. He swallowed the last piece of his pie without even tasting it. He'd better leave and try to track down Hisoka. After all he'd already done all he could do, checking the places in which the victims were found, the TV station again and questioning people who could have witnessed or known something. 

Apparently Maria had had the time and the chance to commit all the murders but who could have turned her into a Kyonshi? One of her staff? Difficult. Her stepmother? She should know something - it was hard to believe she could have not been surprised that her dead daughter had returned from the burial ground and had started working again - but could she be the one behind all this? Nope. There was no mention in her record that she had any knowledge of Jujutsu, and creating a Kyonshi wasn't exactly something an amateur could do. There was a man hanging around Maria or so it had been said. Could he be the one behind it all? He had no idea, and he also didn't know why all these questions were of secondary importance to him compared to the one that was tormenting him, and that was _'Where in the world was Hisoka?'_. He glanced at his watch again after paying for his pies. 4:10 PM. Still no Hisoka in sight. Come to think of it, why had the boy asked him to meet on ChiJou? It seemed he didn't like to be here... His thoughts were interrupted by a woman's scream. A child had fainted. It wasn't his place to worry about things like that and yet... here he was trying to help the child and he didn't leave even after a doctor from Tokyo chanced upon the scene and had the little girl moved to the rest house where he could examine her. What a stupid sentimental fool he was. To think he was a Shinigami... a dark creature that stole life...(1) 

Add to this the fact that his Shiki(2) and his co-workers would laugh at him to the end of his days should they discover the doctor mistook him for the child's father... Not his day really. Yet he still tried to be friendly with the doctor, a certain Muraki Kazutaka, but the guy was plain weird and his instinct was warning him to be cautious even if he couldn't understand why. He'd never seen the man before and yet somehow he had the impression that he knew him. His impeccable manners, his charming yet professional smile, his delicate and yet determinate features, the intensity of his gaze behind his glasses and the way he held the cigarette between his fingers, the well modulated voice as he talked about how weak humans were... Besides, he didn't like where the doctor's discussion was leading. He wasn't merely mourning over the loss of his patients, complaining for having been judged responsible for their deaths or dreaming a magical cure for everything. His yearning for power and a **_perfect_** body... felt wrong... he had already heard someone yearning for it... long, long ago...(3) 

"In this world, there is no such thing as _'perfect'_,"(4) he replied, frowning. He couldn't place the feeling he was getting but it definitely wasn't pleasant. The man had that sort of charm a flame had for a moth, and Tsuzuki didn't look forward to being _'burned alive'_. Not at the moment, anyway, and certainly not by a stranger.(5) He felt even more uneasy when Muraki-san(6) smiled at him in a condescending way as if he was pleased with his answer even if he obviously didn't believe it. Tsuzuki felt relieved when the doctor announced he had to go. The man had done nothing wrong and yet... everything in him wanted to strike at the man the same way he would have done at a dangerous enemy. Tsuzuki didn't want him around for a second longer, and he felt guilty about it.(7) Finally the doctor seemed ready to leave. Tsuzuki felt a weird sense of relief as he realized he was about to be free to finally head back to Enma-Cho to search for Hisoka, away from those aggressive impulses the doctor was awakening in him. He was about to take the way opposite to the one Muraki-san was going, when the man removed his glasses and looked back at him with his weird, unmatched, pale eyes and the expression of one who would do anything to get his hands on what he wanted. 

"By the way... Tsuzuki-san. You should also take care to not lose someone important to you again," the doctor warned him, before placing his glasses back on his nose and leaving for good. The statement froze Tsuzuki to the spot with too many thoughts and memories in his head. He didn't know if it had been the words or just the manner they had been said but... but the threat was there, and as he realized the implication it could have, he frantically ran back to Enma-Cho searching for Hisoka, desperately hoping he was fine. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. In the manga, Tsuzuki dislikes his work as a Shinigami a lot and perceives himself as a killer that carries misfortune.

2. Probably everyone knows this anyway... Tsuzuki owns 12 Shikigami and has a very friendly relationship with them. In the anime it is never showed but in the manga we see most of them also have a human form. Among them are Suzaku, Byakko and Touda who are showed in the anime in their animal form.

3. I'm supposing Muraki Kazutaka has something in common with his grandfather Muraki Yukitaka, who had been Tsuzuki's chief physician before his death. Why will Tsuzuki never remember Muraki Yukitaka? When he saw him, Tsuzuki was insane and only barely conscious of his surroundings and apparently later nearly completely removed that period of his life from memory. Plus, Muraki took after his mother and therefore the resemblance with his grandfather isn't so obvious.

4. It's EXACTLY what Tsuzuki said to Muraki in the manga.

5. Tsuzuki is suicidal, but since he's a Shinigami, very hard to kill. I'm supposing that since he owns a Shikigami who can burn him to death, he considered ending his existence this way BEFORE the **'Kyoto Chapter'** even if tried it only then.

6. No, in the manga Tsuzuki never calls Muraki 'Muraki-san', just 'Muraki'. Why is he doing it here? Well, I figured he would be polite to him in their first meeting... (in their first meeting, Tsuzuki never calls Muraki by name so I don't know if he would use a polite form).

7. Are you shocked about Tsuzuki having aggressive impulses rather than being just scared by Muraki? Well... in a fashion he's scared. As far as I'm concerned, Tsuzuki has an aggressive, violent instinct. He's impulsive and he can get really angry. That's also what scares Tsuzuki. Since he's a nice person who doesn't want to hurt others, the mere idea of lashing out at a man even if in self defence scares him because he desperately wants to be human and not a bloodthirsty monster. At least... that's my impression. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Mn... there are so few differences between this chap and the original manga version that I was tempted to delete this chap. In the end I decided to keep it here even if it looks a bit rushed. Sorry about it but I really didn't want to rewrite all that happened in the manga. I also dislike the lack of Tsuzuki/Hisoka interaction in this chap... I'll make up for it in the next. Oh, and I cut out Tsuzuki and Enma's meeting. I'm sorry about it as well, but really... nothing exceptional happened in it. The lord of Meifu will have other chances to give us his two cents... Oh, and yes, have you noticed how Hisoka returned to 'Tsuzuki-san' now that he's mad at him?  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing about this. Anyway... for who wants the basic differences...  
In the manga Tsuzuki and Hisoka enter the TV studio and see Maria. Tsuzuki gets her autograph (LOL). Maria's stepmother literally kicks them out. Muraki sees them leaving. The two go back to Enma-Cho and discover Maria is dead. Muraki is informed by Maria's stepmother that Tsuzuki and Hisoka went there. Tsuzuki and Hisoka report to Konoe and Konoe only about what they discovered. Hisoka leaves to investigate on his own. Tsuzuki leaves as well. GuShoShin informs Konoe that Hisoka didn't die of disease. Konoe said he knows and that's why the boy was partnered with Tsuzuki. Later Tsuzuki is waiting for Hisoka, eating pie. After a while he decides to go back to Enma-Cho when a child faints. He runs to help. Muraki comes and offers to visit the child. After the visit, Muraki and Tsuzuki have a chat about how weak humans are, how many patients Muraki lost and how he was mistreated for it, and how beautiful it would be to have a perfect body. Tsuzuki disagrees, saying perfection doesn't exist in the world, and thinks that Muraki is 'weird'. Muraki leaves, but before doing so he warns Tsuzuki about being careful to not lose someone again.  
So no, in the manga there's no battle with OhRyu, there's no a meeting with Konoe, Tatsumi, Watari, Hisoka and Tsuzuki, Muraki didn't molest Tsuzuki while talking with him and, most importantly, Tsuzuki didn't just listen him to talking with a gaping fish expression.  
The anime Tsuzuki is very cute but I just don't like how 'uke' they portray him when he's around Muraki. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**GenSoKai:** "Illusory World". It's where Shikigami reside and it's a mirror copy of ChiJou located in JuOhCho network  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**Jujutsu:** Magic Art  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Kyonshi:** Chinese Vampire  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Shiki:** Short for 'Shikigami'  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". Summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **jailnaziking**: I'm glad you like the plot! I see you're also a DB fan! DB songs are just great! 

To **Mlaine**: Thanks for finding time to review now! I'm happy to hear you like this story... as for Hisoka reuniting with Muraki... you won't have to wait much... poor Hisoka... I'm SO evil with him... 

To **Xelena**: Mn... I suppose you're talking about Enma... who is a jerk for sure... That's what Enma said after the **'Kyoto Chap.'**: 

Enma: "Konoe...Well? How is Tsuzuki and the other's condition?"  
Konoe: "Ha... They barely survived by being enveloped by Tatsumi's 'shadow' dimension. They are recovering in the still under construction Health Preservation Room. If the skin is re-transplanted, then he'll be just as before..."  
Enma: "I wouldn't stand for that beautiful body being broken... Understood. Enough, you are dismissed."  
Konoe: "Ha..."  
Enma: "... How dare you Tsuzuki...!" _You won't get away with this... Trying to escape from my chain... Escape from me And where will you go, Tsuzuki..._ "...fu, foolish..." _You no longer have any choice... This hell... is the only place you can return to_  
(Translation done by Theria) 

As you can see he talks about Tsuzuki as if he was a beautiful object he owns and not a person who was so desperate he tried to end his life... 

To **Alanna Evelyn**: Glad you said that! I'm sorry they don't interact much in this chap. I promise they'll do it in the next! 

To **tenshiamanda**: I hope you will like this chap also even if Muraki only had a tiny role... 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I'm evil aren't I? I'm trying to post a chap each week but, due to work, I can't always manage... sorry about this...

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
How Hisoka is doing his best to get himself in trouble, how Tsuzuki is trying to keep him safe and how Muraki is going to ruin Tsuzuki's attempts... Oh yes, and Maria Won wandering around freely too...

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	7. Chap 6 Hands Clean

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 6: Hands Clean"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me  
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me  
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian  
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it _**

Ooh this could get messy  
But you don't seem to mind  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
And overlook this supposed crime 

We'll fast forward to a few years later  
And no one knows except the both of us  
And I have honored your request for silence  
And you've washed your hands clean of this"  
(Alanis Morissette - "Hands Clean") 

Hisoka was fine - well, as fine as he ever was, which wasn't much, but... 

He had also done some investigation on his own about Kyonshi, burial grounds and about... **_HIM_**. 

He hadn't accomplished much. He didn't really know how to track down a living being using one of Enma-Cho's computers. He knew the easier way was to ask someone, possibly Tsuzuki, how to do it - but... he wasn't going to talk about **_HIM_**. With anyone. Besides, he knew Shinigami weren't allowed to pursue personal matters. 

He asked GuShoShin some discreet questions and discovered the existence of the Forbidden Archive. Apparently, **_EVERYTHING_** was stored there. Too bad that since it was a **_forbidden_** archive, he was forbidden from trying to use it. He looked down at his watch. He was so late for his appointment with Tsuzuki... 

He did everything he could think of to not think about Tsuzuki after he had left him, and yet... he hadn't been very successful in this either. He didn't know why he was so... why the man made him feel so... He didn't even know how to define the whole thing! If he was trying to learn something useful for the investigation it was because he didn't want to look like an idiot in Tsuzuki's eyes. Every time he thought **_HE_** could be involved, all he wanted to do was to go and talk about it with Tsuzuki. Every time he realized there was something he didn't know, his instinct kept suggesting to go and ask Tsuzuki about it. But every time he was about to give in and follow his impulse to join the other Shinigami, he feared the man's rejection so badly he did nothing but pile excuse upon excuse to postpone his meeting with Tsuzuki, and in the end he let the time for their meeting pass. By now, Tsuzuki had probably stopped waiting for him and left, disgusted by his partner's lack of punctuality(1). 

Oh well, it didn't matter. The man didn't need him, didn't want him, didn't care for him and was probably glad he hadn't shown up. Tsuzuki was like everyone else. He **_had_** to be. So why was he still - deep down - hoping he was different? Why did he want the man's acceptance and affection so badly? Why was it so difficult to keep his distance from him? He frowned stubbornly. He couldn't keep this up. The only thing his so called _'family'_ had taught him was to behave like a proper Kurosaki, and a Kurosaki needed no one. He had learned that lesson well. So why did he need Tsuzuki so desperately now? 

He shook his head in a pitiful attempt to dismiss that course of thoughts. No one was around. It was his chance to try and peek into this Forbidden Archive. He had no real idea what he was hoping to find there. A document saying **_HE_** wasn't involved in those murders? A file pointing out **_HE_** wasn't in Nagasaki? The promise **_HE_** would never touch him again? Or maybe just the key to his and Tsuzuki's... relationship? He walked silently through the corridor, his heart beating fast. He was so nervous he perceived Tsuzuki's emotions only when the man was close to him, glaring at him, his arms crossed on his chest(2). And Tsuzuki was angry. Really, really angry. As soon as Hisoka saw him he took a tentative step back, scared. 

"Our date was over hours ago, bouya. I didn't think you'd be _'here'_," Tsuzuki stated coldly. His coldness hurt. Tsuzuki had never been cold with him, never been angry with him before... 

"This is none of your business," Hisoka muttered weakly, almost defensively, his gaze lowered, before realizing he sounded exactly like a spoiled brat. He didn't mean it... he... he never wanted to make Tsuzuki mad at him, he never... 

"It is **_SO_** my business! You're forbidden to enter that room! Do you have any idea what you're doing!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, coming even closer, his anger rising. All the boy needed was someone reporting catching him near the Forbidden Archive to have Enma deciding to dispose of him. The ruler of Meifu was already looking at Hisoka with suspicion and reserve. Hisoka really didn't need to do something which would have been considered a serious crime even for someone on Enma's good side. Oh, okay, so Tsuzuki couldn't really talk because he had penetrated the Archive more than once without permission, but he always made sure to not get caught, and anyway, had he been caught, consequences wouldn't have mattered much to him. But it wasn't himself they were talking about. It was Hisoka, and he wasn't going to allow the boy to risk his life. He had spent enough time in ChiJou worrying for him. He wasn't going to allow his fears to turn into reality. No, he wouldn't lose someone important to him again. 

Hisoka took a step back again, finding himself cornered against the wall. He looked up at Tsuzuki with frightened green eyes, and at that sight the man somehow managed to control part of his anger, calming down, even if minimally. 

"Whatever," Tsuzuki said dismissively, as if all of a sudden Hisoka's actions didn't matter to him anymore. It was to be expected Hisoka wouldn't trust him. Who ever did? But weird enough, his apparent lack of caring managed to hurt Hisoka even more than his anger. "We're going back to ChiJou. And you're coming with me!" Then he grabbed Hisoka's arm. It was an error in so many ways. Tsuzuki's feelings flowed quickly from Tsuzuki to Hisoka, filling the boy too abruptly and causing his defensive powers to flare to life immediately. Before Tsuzuki could react he found himself with a nasty, bleeding burn on his hand. Apparently he had undervalued the boy's powers. He glared at his injury. It was nothing serious for a Shinigami like him, and yet... 

"Well, I see you must really hate me." The words gave him an unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had dealt with hate many times. He never got used to it, no matter how much he had pretended it didn't matter. "Let's set the record straight. Are you really that set against being my partner?" he asked, his voice empty, his eyes staring at the burn. Okay, so if the boy hated him it would make things easier, the boy would be more likely to leave him alone and yet... he never wanted Hisoka to hate him. It hurt and he... He turned toward Hisoka but the child was now on the floor, curled up in a tight ball, trembling and murmuring something in such a low voice he couldn't make out what he was saying. Tsuzuki knelt near him, worried, his anger dissipating. 

"Don't touch me... No... Don't come near me... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'll be good... I promise I'll be good... Don't hurt me, please..." That was what Hisoka was whimpering. Scared. The child was dead scared of him. He knew that type of fear. The fear of one who had endured too many beatings in his life, and expected another one coming soon. 

"Hey..." Tsuzuki called softly to him. Hisoka didn't show any sign of hearing him but kept repeating his litany. Slowly, gently, Tsuzuki placed his uninjured hand on the boy's shoulder, allowing him to _'feel'_ clearly he wasn't mad at him anymore, and that he had no intention of hurting him. He guessed this would have worked better than murmuring words he wasn't sure if Hisoka would listen to or believe. He realized he'd made the right choice when Hisoka finally managed to look at him. 

"I'm sorry..." the child whimpered weakly, fear still evident in his eyes. 

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you anymore." He should really have known better than to touch an untrained empath with defence powers while he was angry, Tsuzuki reminded himself. It had been stupid of him and it had only managed to scare Hisoka. "I didn't mean to scare you," he assured the boy. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you... I just... you touched me and you were angry and I... I feel other people's emotions really strongly. It always happens. I can't control it... I can't be touched, I... I didn't mean to hurt you, I just couldn't control..." He was babbling and he knew it. His parents were always so furious when it happened and **_HE_**... **_HE_**... as fascinating as **_HE_** had found his powers, **_HE_** hadn't tolerated what **_HE_** called a sign of rebellion. He also didn't understand why the reaction had been so strong. Before, all he could cause was a tiny sting and now... 

It's okay, Hisoka. It was my fault. Not much damage done, see?" He showed the child his hand. It was already starting to heal. "We're Shinigami, we heal real fast. It's okay." Hisoka nodded hesitantly. He hadn't meant to hurt Tsuzuki, really. He never wanted to hurt him. Of course, no one had bothered to inform him that now that he was a Shinigami, his defence powers were increased, and tended to get _'in tune'_ with the powers of whoever attacked him. 

"Tsuzuki-san! Hisoka-san!" a voice interrupted them. "What are you two doing here near the Forbidden Archive? Don't you know you're not allowed here?" Hisoka lowered his gaze, knowing he was in big trouble now and fearing the consequences. He had no idea what they could do to him. He hoped it was nothing as bad as what **_NUSHI-SAMA_** had done to him. Tsuzuki ruffled his hair in an affectionate, protective way, and gave GuShoShin a guilty smile. 

"Sorry, GuShoShin, sorry! Hisoka got lost and when I found him I was stupid enough to startle him!" Hearing this, Hisoka looked up, eyes wide. Tsuzuki was lying to save him from punishment? Why? GuShoShin muttered something about Tsuzuki-san being an irresponsible idiot and so on... Tsuzuki merely turned towards Hisoka, smiling and asking if he could manage to get up. Hisoka, still confused by Tsuzuki's behaviour, nodded, but as soon as he tried to do so, his legs... simply refused to obey. It was frustrating and embarrassing. Scary also.(3) 

Tsuzuki didn't pay it too much attention and simply picked Hisoka up effortlessly. The boy was almost weightless. Hisoka blushed, but he was too stunned to complain. No one had ever picked him up. Not like that. Okay, so Tsuzuki had done it the day before but... but... His brain refused to elaborate further. He merely let himself be carried away from that corridor and moved to a more comfortable place while GuShoShin went to make something for him to drink. He hoped it wasn't tea. He'd already had enough tea the past night. At least Tsuzuki had the good sense to sit him on a chair and not to keep him sitting in his lap as he did the day before. Once had been embarrassing enough. Once had also been good enough for him to long for it again. Oh, that was just plain stupid. He wasn't a child and no one would hold him anyway... and... and... His head was spinning and it felt so good when Tsuzuki placed his cold hand against his forehead that he almost sighed. Almost. The moment was interrupted by GuShoShin's voice announcing he was back. 

"Please tell me it's not tea," was the first thing he said, eyeing the drink GuShoShin was carrying suspiciously. 

"Mn... from the scent of it I'd say it's coffee," Tsuzuki suggested, then cheered loudly when his guess turned out to be right. Hisoka gave him a funny look. Tsuzuki was back to childish mode, and he didn't know whether to feel relief or disappointment about it. "Ehy, GuShoShin, where's mine?" the man complained as soon as GuShoShin gave Hisoka the cup he carried. GuShoShin pointed out he could very well go and get some coffee by himself, and that **_he_**, unlike a certain slacker everyone knew well, had some work to do, then left while Tsuzuki was pouting. 

"You can have mine if you want, Tsuzuki...-san..." Hisoka offered in the nicest tone he had ever used. He wasn't looking forward to ingesting anything and somehow he wanted to return Tsuzuki's kindness. Tsuzuki shook his head. 

"No, no. You drink that. You'll feel better after you do. Besides, didn't I tell you just Tsuzuki is fine?" Hisoka turned his gaze away, blushing cutely. Tsuzuki smiled, his sharp eyes observing his partner carefully. "Is it just me, or haven't you hadn't lunch today?" he asked. Hisoka busied himself with drinking his coffee, his blush even more evident, refusing to answer. The attention he was getting from Tsuzuki was embarrassing, and yet it was making him very... happy. He didn't know how to respond to it. He was afraid whatever he could say would end up making the man angry again. Or disgusted. Or disinterested. Or cold. As soon as he swallowed a sip of coffee he snorted. 

"It's so sweet!" he complained. He wasn't used to sweet things. The little he ate didn't include them. 

"Good," Tsuzuki replied, smiling merrily. "You need to get some sugar in your system. Sugar gives energy," the man informed him. Hisoka turned his gaze away again. 

"Why did you do it?" he asked in a whisper. 

"Do what?" Tsuzuki asked curiously, coming closer. 

"You lied to GuShoShin. Why? It's not even the first time you've done it..." Tsuzuki had already lied to not embarrass him or to avoid him being questioned by GuShoShin, and now he had done it again to save him from punishment. Why? No one had ever tried to spare him a punishment before. 

"I didn't exactly lie to him. I did scare you," Tsuzuki pointed out, skillfully avoiding giving him an explanation. 

"It was just my empathy that chose to bug me," Hisoka muttered, before taking another sip of coffee, blushing. He was scared more often that not and yet he always refused to admit it. It was just another one of the things his _'family'_ had taught him to never do. Tsuzuki was tempted to smile as he observed Hisoka trying to hide his embarrassment by scowling at the floor, his gaze lowered and his cheeks red. What a fierce spirit the boy would have had, hadn't his life been ruined by his kidnapper, who instilled in him too much fear than the boy could digest. He was ready to bet, had the boy another life, he would be yelling and throwing things at him almost constantly. Poor little thing, he thought as he moved his hand towards the youth to ruffle Hisoka's hair. The boy was about to move it away, claiming he didn't need pity or sympathy, but the emotion Hisoka felt when Tsuzuki touched him wasn't either of them. Affection. He trembled under the wave of that emotion no one had ever directed towards him, unable to say anything, and closed his eyes. 

"It'll be okay, bouya," Tsuzuki assured him. Hisoka's eyes snapped open at the nickname. 

"My name is Hisoka, not bouya!" the boy snapped, but something in his tone was trembling as if to show the boy was about to cry. "I hate it when you call me that! It's how..." How **_HE_** called him. Hisoka's tone was subdued again almost immediately at the memory of **_HE_**. "And stop saying everything will be fine," he whispered "It won't ever be. My empathy will forever ruin everything, and I will always dream what **_HE_**..." he trailed off, refusing to talk about **_HIM_**. 

"I'll see to have you trained about controlling your empathy if that's the problem," Tsuzuki assured him gently. "It won't solve everything, but it'll make it a lot better." Tsuzuki's gaze turned serious. "Besides this, are you hiding anything else? Can't you tell me - your partner?" 

"... I won't tell," Hisoka murmured. "It doesn't concern you," he added hurriedly by way of explanation. Tsuzuki frowned. Hisoka cringed, not sure about what he'd done wrong. Tsuzuki sighed. 

"Fine, as you prefer. From now on I'll deal with the investigation on ChiJou while you stay here," Tsuzuki said, getting up from his chair. His tone was somewhat colder than usual, but his mind was made up. Apparently Hisoka knew something he didn't want to tell him. Tsuzuki suspected this was more serious than Hisoka believed, or wanted to believe. 

"What? What do you mean?" the boy asked, confused. 

"As long as you keep things from me you're more a liability than a help," Tsuzuki stated. He didn't like to say it, but it was a truth they needed to face, and it was a good excuse to leave the boy in Meifu. He had no idea what Hisoka's problem was, but he had gathered whatever was worrying the boy was in ChiJou. The case was dangerous, Hisoka was defenceless and Enma was already worried enough about the boy's possible betrayal or something similar. No reason to expose Hisoka to further danger by dragging him to ChiJou. Time to teach him how harsh a Shinigami's life was, and how better and safer it would be for him to return back to ShinKou-Cho. 

"You can't cut me out of the job!" Hisoka exclaimed, standing up. He didn't want that job really, but that work was the only connection he had with Tsuzuki and... Tsuzuki turned round. Yes, the boy would have had quite a temper. Too bad he hadn't been allowed to develop it, he mused, as he saw that Hisoka, as soon as he noticed his glare, turned his gaze away like a scared puppy, trembling slightly. He hadn't meant to scare him, but maybe this would make things easier. 

"You'll wait here," he said with a tone of finality, turning and leaving the boy. Hisoka slumped back in his chair and hugged himself, feeling abandoned. He didn't want to return to ChiJou, but he refused to allow Tsuzuki to think of him as a coward or a... liability. A liability - that was what he was. A disgrace to his family, a toy to **_HIM_**, a liability to Tsuzuki. He bit his lower lip. He refused to accept that. He wouldn't allow it. He was Kurosaki Hisoka. He could do everything he wanted to. He would prove to Tsuzuki he wasn't a liability. He would prove he was a good partner to him. He would prove he was worth keeping around to Tsuzuki. He would show him!... Why did he have this desperate wish to show him? 

* * *

In the end he had secretly followed Tsuzuki back to ChiJou, even if, now that he was there, he had no idea about what to do or how Tsuzuki would take his disobedience. He just hoped he wouldn't be mad at him. He didn't mean to trouble him, he only wanted to help... However, after following Tsuzuki at a safe distance for almost an hour he had really no idea about what Tsuzuki was doing wandering around Nagasaki's restaurants like that. Tsuzuki was the senior employer in the Shokan-ka... he should have a plan, he even _'felt'_ like a person with a plan, so he **HAD** to have a plan, he reasoned, even if he couldn't figure out how their vampire and the restaurants Tsuzuki was visiting were related! 

It was getting late, and also cold. Why had he left his jacket in Enma-Cho? Tsuzuki stopped again in front of a shop, and paused to watch his reflection on the shop-window. Hisoka sighed, when he felt something from the man, something like... accomplishment. Accomplishment about what? He stretched his empathy as best as he could, which was getting hard due to the pounding headache all the emotions streaming from all those people around had caused him. He didn't catch what had caused Tsuzuki's feeling, but he did feel something else. A sensation he recognized. The distinct _'empty'_ feeling that betrayed the presence of Maria Won. 

_'Tsuzuki, you idiot! Don't you realize you're in danger?'_ he thought in panic. Then truth dawned on him. That was why the man felt he had accomplished something! He knew Maria was there! He wanted Maria Won to follow him! Was that why he hadn't wanted him around? But he couldn't just leave Tsuzuki alone in dealing with the vampire... Not that he knew how to deal with a vampire, but he just couldn't abandon Tsuzuki alone either. So he followed the two as discreetly as he could. 

It was dark when Tsuzuki let himself fall on a bench and fell asleep on it, apparently exhausted. Hisoka didn't notice it immediately, his whole attention concentrated on Maria, and when he did realize, the vampire was already too close to Tsuzuki for his liking. He ran towards them, not really knowing what to do, but before he could come close enough, Tsuzuki was already standing on his feet, having avoided two of Maria's attacks and used a Fuda against her. He saw Maria... freezing and slumping against Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki said something to her, but Hisoka didn't bother to listen to it. He ran straight to his partner. 

"You... You... You wanted to leave me behind at Enma-Cho so you could lure her! You pretended to sleep so you could lure her! And to think that I was so worried about you! I'm such an idiot!" Hisoka almost yelled at Tsuzuki, without even bothering to catch his breath, while holding one of Tsuzuki's sleeves as if to make sure the man was really there. 

"Eh? What, what? You were worried about me?" Tsuzuki said, in an amused, almost teasing tone, and yet... behind it Hisoka could feel disbelief and... hope, as if he, too, never had someone who cared about him. Hisoka blinked, then blushed, realizing he was still clutching Tsuzuki's sleeve like a lost child, and let it go hurriedly before turning his gaze away, trying to look at everywhere but Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki's smile softened, and he placed a hand on Hisoka's head, ruffling the honey blond hair. Hisoka just let him do it, savouring the affection he perceived through the contact, and the relief at the knowledge Tsuzuki was well and wasn't mad at him. "Thanks for worrying, but you shouldn't have," Tsuzuki said softly to him. "Besides, didn't I tell you to wait for me in Enma-Cho?" the man asked, but in his voice or emotions there was no trace of anger, only... playfulness, as if what Hisoka had done was merely to play a joke on him. Hisoka blushed even redder. 

"I only came because Shinigami have to work in pairs," he replied in a sullen tone. He felt like a little child, which was weird and embarrassing but somehow... it wasn't so bad. It just... melted something inside him and made his eyes water. "Will she return to normal now?" he asked hurriedly, pointing at Maria, trying desperately to gain control of his own emotions once more. Besides, he felt strangely annoyed at the fact that Maria was still learning against Tsuzuki. 

"No..." Tsuzuki said, his expression distant and his feelings definitely sad. "The Fuda's power should isolate her from the control of whoever turned her into a vampire. If she were to return to normal, she would become a corpse." Hisoka wondered why Tsuzuki seemed to consider this a bad thing. After all she **_was_** a corpse. If she returned to her previous state, the case was solved and they could go back to Enma-Cho, but apparently that wouldn't satisfy Tsuzuki. 

He was about to ask what Tsuzuki was planning to do when Maria returned to consciousness. Apparently Tsuzuki was interested in listening to her sob story about how her stepmother used her and pushed her to suicide. It was the usual, old story for him. She should have just dealt with it as he'd done when his parents had hated him and kept him locked in the basement. Instead Tsuzuki was all so busy trying to cheer her up. He felt jealous. It wasn't fair. Why should she get comprehension and encouragement from **HIS** partner? He sighed. He was behaving like a spoiled brat. What had happened to him wasn't Maria's fault and he had been the first to try to refuse Tsuzuki's comforting words. He sighed again. The fact that he had been taught to not accept comfort didn't mean he didn't want it. 

He sighed a third time, feeling neglected. Tsuzuki glanced at him and his gaze softened. He should have told Hisoka to return to Meifu, knowing that it was safer if he sent Hisoka back, and that he had already risked enough _'allowing'_ him to follow him, but... he couldn't. He couldn't push away the youth, especially when Hisoka had that _'I'm all alone and no one cares about me'_ expression on his face. So he did something stupid. He invited him to go with them to Maria's stepmother. Hisoka seemed surprised at the invitation, then he lowered his gaze to hide his blush, and nodded. Tsuzuki wasn't an empath, but he knew that just by asking him to come, he had made Hisoka happy. Tsuzuki masked his worry behind another smile. He only hoped he'd done the right thing... 

* * *

Maria's stepmother wasn't at all pleased to see them if the fact that she threw a glass at them could be taken as a hint. The glass didn't reach them. It shattered as soon as it was close to Tsuzuki. Hisoka blinked, and tried to keep his cool. He wondered if all the Shinigami were capable of things like that, and if someone would even bother to mention it to him, and to teach him to use his new abilities. Tsuzuki, however, had explained how to create a Kekkai, and his duty was to put a Kekkai around the place so that no one would bug them, while Tsuzuki tried to extract information from Maria's stepmother. It was supposed to be an easy job, and he knew that was why Tsuzuki was allowing him to handle it. He sighed. He didn't want to leave Tsuzuki. The man felt... _'weird'_. Oh, he was serious and concentrated all right, but he was also... bitter, unhappy and angry. Tsuzuki didn't like what he was doing, and Hisoka doubted he really wanted to be left alone doing it. However, there was nothing he could do to help him besides setting up the Kekkai. 

Maybe once he had done it he could get back inside and... Hisoka didn't have the time to wonder about it any more. As soon as he was out of the door he managed only to exchange a few words with Maria before feeling... **_HIM_** then... everything blurred. **_HIS_** emotions filled him, emotions he was very familiar with and yet hated, and he found himself unable to resist them and was dragged in. Numb, so numb even his defensive powers couldn't work, and lost, so lost in that sea of dark emotions that he was helpless and unable to stop **_NUSHI-SAMA_** from slamming him against a wall and slicing his throat with a knife, his blood spraying out and staining even the ceiling.(4) Weakness and a rising darkness overcame him, and he barely realized **_HE_** had now wrapped him in **_HIM_** coat and picked him up in a hold that felt so different from the one Tsuzuki had used when he had done the same thing... sounds... voices... maybe **_NUSHI-SAMA_** was talking to someone? Tsuzuki... where was Tsuzuki? He couldn't reach him, not even with his empathy... Tsuzuki... He wanted Tsuzuki... and then he felt himself being dragged away... in a world made up of only darkness... 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Has anyone any idea why Hisoka didn't show up at the meeting in the real YnM and went to the Forbidden Archive so late? Here I supposed he was so distressed he... well... basically was almost not responsible for his actions, but in the manga/anime Hisoka is in quite a calm state, so why did he go there so late when there was the chance that Tsuzuki would come back to search for him just as he did? Okay, so maybe he found out about the Archive at the last minute but still... And what did he do while he wasn't with Tsuzuki? I'd really like to know... Oh, one last question. Anyone know what the Forbidden Secret Archive was called in the Japanese version?

2. I'm supposing that if Hisoka's emotions are stronger than the ones of the people around him, his empathy wouldn't really perceive them... as if he was shouting so loud he couldn't hear what people around him were saying...

3. Sometimes, after a shock or a big scare, legs just refuse to move and it is exactly frustrating, embarrassing and a tiny bit scary because you feel be paralysed.

4. Has anyone else ever wondered about why, when Tsuzuki touched Hisoka, he got blasted against the wall while, when Muraki did the same he didn't get even a scratch? Life is unfair like that... Here the difference is simply done by the base feelings. Tsuzuki was angry with Hisoka therefore the reaction he got from him was aggressive. Muraki was pleased he would get to use Hisoka therefore even if he planned to hurt him Hisoka's empathy didn't react with violence... It's not very clear, isn't it? Sorry, but that's the best I could come up. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
And back we are with some healthy Tsuzuki/Hisoka interaction! Oh, and this is a long chap. to make up for the fact that the previous was short. What else to say? Again some attempts to explain what didn't make sense to me in the manga. I admit I would have liked to spend more time talking about the chat between Tsuzuki and Maria's stepmother (Tsuzuki is so cool in it!) but adding it would have ruined Muraki's entrance so... it had to go.  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing this. Anyway... for those who want the basic differences...  
In the manga Hisoka was trying to enter in the Forbidden Archive when Tsuzuki came and tried to drag him away. Hisoka's defensive power hurt Tsuzuki, but Hisoka explained him he didn't do it on purpose. Tsuzuki tried to discover what Hisoka was hiding but Hisoka refused to talk. Tsuzuki informed him that Shinigami work in pair because they have to keep an eye on each other so none of them would use their abilities for his own personal gain, warned him that his attempt to enter in the Archive would be reported (JJ's note: but we never heard of it again so maybe Tsuzuki didn't report it in the end) and ordered him to go back to ChiJou and follow Maria. Then he leaves. (JJ's note: Poor Hisoka... he had such an _'abandoned puppy'_ look when Tsuzuki left him...).  
Back in ChiJou Tsuzuki is sighing in front of his tea when GuShoShin joined him. Tsuzuki complained he couldn't get along with Hisoka. GuShoShin said that Hisoka's parents mistreated him and that Tsuzuki can be the one who can manage to help the boy trust people. This cheered Tsuzuki up who decided he'd visit some local restaurant. Maria, under Muraki's control, followed him. Tsuzuki noticed her. Hisoka followed Maria without noticing she's following Tsuzuki. In the evening Tsuzuki fell asleep on a bench. Maria tried to bite him. Hisoka finally saw Tsuzuki and ran toward him but Tsuzuki just got up and used his Fuda to paralyse Maria. Hisoka joined Tsuzuki. Maria told them her story. They went back to the studio. Maria told her stepmother she wouldn't obey her anymore.  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka joined her. Maria's stepmother throw something at Tsuzuki but it crashed before hitting Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki, with a Very Scary Look, spoke with Maria's stepmother while Hisoka and Maria went out to set a kekkai. Tsuzuki showed her a candle and said that's Maria's stepmother candle of life. Maria's stepmother said that she had been informed that Tsuzuki was a killer and due to this he couldn't judge her. Tsuzuki took a water pitcher and doused the candle. Out of the room Maria tried to remember who woke her from death but couldn't, then started babbling that _'He is coming'_. In fact someone had just joined them. Back to Tsuzuki...  
Maria's stepmother was still alive. Tsuzuki said that wasn't her candle, but since she knew he was a killer she should also know he wouldn't have any problems with killing her. She said she couldn't talk or _'he'_ would kill her. Tsuzuki asked her if she was talking of Muraki. She confirmed it. Tsuzuki heard noises outside and Maria calling him. He went out but was shocked by blood all over the ceiling and the sight of Hisoka in Muraki's arms. The two exchanged words, then Muraki escaped in his car.  
So no, in the manga GuShoShin didn't talk with Hisoka, nor told Tsuzuki that Hisoka was in the library. Tsuzuki didn't blame Hisoka about not doing his work, didn't drag GuShoShin on ChiJou as temporary partner and didn't try to enter Maria's room again. Maria didn't try suicide and when she attacked Tsuzuki, Muraki didn't try to trap him with a barrier and Hisoka didn't have to free him. Maria didn't sing in the Uta Matsuri in Nagasaki, and as you already read, Hisoka was kidnapped in a different way. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Bouya:** Boy  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**Kyonshi:** Chinese Vampire  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**ShinKou-Cho:** "Office ShinKou". In the 1st district of JuOhCho. It controls Okinawa's territory  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu  
**Uta Matsuri:** Song Festival

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! I'm also sorry you had to wait longer than I planned. Anyway this chap is up and it's longer and the new one only need to be betaed. 

To **Terry**: I'm glad you like the idea behind this AU. I hope you'll also like this longer chapter! 

To **tenshiamanda**: You will find more about Muraki in the next chap even if this fic is mainly about Tsuzuki and Hisoka... As for Tsuzuki uke... well in the anime he's a lot more 'passive' (that's not the perfect term but still... uhm... you've to see it to get it...). Anyway in the manga he looks more like the oldest and strongest Shinigami than in the anime. 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I hope this longer chap will satisfy you! Next chap will also be long! 

To **Black Angel of Destruction**, **Baka-Chibbi** & **xXLil Yu JahXx**: I'm happy to hear you like this!

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Muraki kidnapped Hisoka. Will the boy survive it? Will Tsuzuki manage to rescue him or will they both end up as experiment material for Muraki?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	8. Chap 7 Funeral Song

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 7: Funeral Song"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"I've failed you again  
'Cause I let you stay  
I used to pretend  
That I felt ok _**

Just one big lie  
Such a perfect illusion  
I made you mine  
Just to hurt you once again 

I died in my dreams  
What's that supposed to mean?  
Got lost in the fire  
I died in my dreams  
Reaching out for your hand  
My fatal desire"  
(Rasmus - "Funeral Song") 

He'd done it again. He'd failed the one he cared for. 

_'You should also take care to not lose someone important to you again...'_

Those words echoed in his head. Muraki had warned him. The man somehow knew what had happened to him in the past and had warned him. Not to help him, but merely to rub in his failure. Muraki had painted the ceiling in blood. Hisoka's blood. Was Hisoka all right? He cursed himself, cursed Enma DaiOh, and cursed Muraki as well, and then tried to gain control of his own emotions once again. Cursing wouldn't help, but until his Tsukaima(1) was back there wasn't much he could do. He only half listened as Maria blamed herself, and tried his best to reassure her it wasn't her fault. If there was anyone to blame, it was he. He had known the boy was defenceless, he had been aware that Hisoka's empathy was more a burden to him than anything else, he had understood that Hisoka's secret fear was that the one who'd hurt him was around here, he had guessed Enma's interest in this case was due to the fact that there was more than met the eyes, he had realized Muraki was insane, he'd just... just... he... he'd been stupid, and now Hisoka was going to pay for his distraction. He had never wanted it. 

It was then that his Tsukaima, a white, dove-shaped magic creature, flew back into the room and rested gracefully on his fingers, cooing at him. He smiled at the bird as if it was really a living being and not a magical artifact. Thank Kami-sama, he finally had a lead to Hisoka. His little bird-friend had done a good job. He was about to follow the white creature when Maria gripped his coat, pleading him to take her too because she was worried for Hisoka as well. Tsuzuki looked back at her. He had never been good in refusing anything to a girl. Maybe because in each girl he saw the image of his long dead sister and... He forced back those overwhelming feelings that threatened to drown him every time he thought back to Ruka(2). It wasn't time to drown in memories, guilt, longing, hopeless love, and sadness. He returned his gaze to Maria, knowing he was about to give up when he saw the girl paling. She was also feeling dizzy. Tsuzuki looked at her sadly. He knew what was happening. Disconnected from Muraki's power by his Fuda, she was starting to get weak. Soon she would return to being a corpse. He couldn't help but be sad at the thought. Maria understood what was happening as well. She gave him a sad smile. 

"On second thoughts, I guess I can't come with you now, can I?" she said, trying to sound cheerful, but failing. Life was unfair. Now that she **_wanted_** to live, it had to remind her of the fact she wasn't alive anymore. Tsuzuki shook his head, smiling gently at her, sadness quite clear in his kind amethyst eyes. Such an unusual colour... she wondered why she hadn't noticed it before... oh well, now it didn't matter anymore. She sat on the couch, still smiling at him. "I guess... I'll wait for you here like a good girl then," she suggested in an even more forced, cheerful tone. 

"I'll be back soon to take you," Tsuzuki assured her. He wouldn't need to, really. Soon her Reikon would leave her body and move spontaneously towards Meifu, while her corpse would likely rot in few minutes, but you couldn't just expect Tsuzuki to say that to her. They smiled again at each other in that forced cheerfulness, and for a moment Tsuzuki found himself unable to leave her. He knew what it meant to die alone and... he also knew how Maria had felt when she had died for the first time. He closed his eyes. He wasn't good at abandoning people. He didn't want to leave Maria alone, but he couldn't help her. Hisoka **_needed_** him, and even if he felt guilty at the thought of leaving her alone, his whole being was screaming that he had to go to Hisoka and that he was only wasting his time standing there with that soon to be corpse. She seemed to understand it as well. 

"You have to go then," she murmured sadly. He nodded. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, before turning hurriedly and almost escaping from the window, and from the sight of the dying girl that was awakening so many memories in his mind. Ruka... He forced them back again. He would never ever get used to death, but he had no time to think about it right now. Hisoka. He had to save the youth. That was his top priority, the only thing that really mattered. 

Maria followed the running Shinigami with her eyes but he was soon out of her sight. 

"You're too kind for your own good, Tsuzuki-san..." she stated, smiling bitterly to herself. "Had I met you before..." She shook her head, remembering how differently Tsuzuki-san looked at her from how he looked at Hisoka-san. "I guess it wouldn't have mattered. You were kind to me, but I'm not important to you, not like..." Strength failed her as her body slumped against the couch and her eyes turned glassy. "Hurry, Tsuzuki-san. Hurry to save Hisoka-san before it's too la..." Her head rolled on her left side, her lips still open in her parting breath. Her body and her Reikon weren't connected anymore, and once her Reikon started moving spontaneously towards Meifu, like a leaf dragged by a river, what once were her mortal remains started to decay, ruining the beautiful shell that once had been Maria Won's body.(3) 

* * *

It hurt. One would think that after being abused so many times it should hurt less, and yet to him it still hurt as much, if not more. It hurt. He wanted Tsuzuki, someone, everyone, to save him. He wanted... He dreamed an impossible dream, and he knew it.(4) 

As usual, his empathy was driving him nuts. It happened every time he was in a state of panic. His empathy somehow reached unbelievable levels, filling him with every foreign emotion it could pick. **_HE_** found it amusing. **_HE_**. **_NUSHI-SAMA_**. **_HIS OWNER_**, **_HIS MASTER_**, **_HIS TORTURER_**. **_THE MAN_** who kidnapped him when he was thirteen because he saw **_HIM_** killing a woman. **_THE MAN_** who took him away from his house. THE MAN who abused him shamelessly for three years until he mercifully died. **_THE MAN_** who had allowed others to use him as they pleased. **_THE MAN_** who had beaten him like an animal. **_THE MAN_** who had enjoyed studying him and his empathy like a bug under the microscope. 

He whimpered as **_HE_** moved inside him again. He wanted to at least be able to ignore **_HIS_** feelings, but he couldn't. They were filling him as usual, as well as the feelings of everyone nearby. He had no idea why his empathy had to get so out of control around **_HIM_**. The explanation was simple, in fact. In a desperate wish for help, his empathy was frantically seeking it in everyone else's emotions. Too bad it never found it. **_HE_** slammed his head violently back against the wall. He whimpered, but he knew better than to try to oppose resistance. _'Tsuzuki...'_ he thought, _'Please...'_ But he was so lost in the pain he had no idea what he was pleading about. 

**_NUSHI-SAMA_** left him and stood, straightening **_HIS_** immaculate clothes carefully. They always carried a scent of musk and medicine, a scent that, after so many years of abuse, now always caused Hisoka's stomach to turn. The boy tried to curl up, to hide himself in the only piece of clothing the man hadn't ripped off of him - his torn shirt - but it just couldn't provide him with enough warmth, or enough cover. **_NUSHI-SAMA_** nudged him with one of **_HIS_** toes, forcing him to turn on his back. Hisoka knew better than to resist, even if he kept his head turned, tears leaking from his eyes, trying to escape **_HIS_** gaze. He wanted Tsuzuki, needed Tsuzuki, longed for Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki... 

He hadn't realized his lips were moving on their own accord, mouthing the name without daring to make a sound. **_HE_**, however, noticed, and looked at him with an annoyed expression. 

"What are you doing, Nyngyou? Thinking about Tsuzuki-san? I have to admit I'm surprised that you became a Shinigami, but I'm even more surprised he kept you around him. He's famous, you know? He has an amazing power; no other Shinigami has ever reached his level. He even rules twelve Shikigami, and he's rumoured to be Enma DaiOh's right hand man. Deep down, everyone in Meifu fears him, and that's why he could never keep a partner for long. Add to this that beautiful, charming look of his and those enticing purple eyes..." Muraki smirked for a second, as if savouring the memory, his feelings causing Hisoka to shudder in revulsion. "I'm surprised he's hanging around with a sorry excuse of a Shinigami like you. A boy so ruined, so cursed and so pathetically weak no one would keep you around. No one but me. Here's the only place you can return to. If I don't throw you away like the garbage you are, that is." He enjoyed the miserable whimper the boy let out at his words. Human nature was so cruel to push the boy towards his torturer, because the man also provided him with acceptance. It amused Muraki to no end, and filled him with a dark humour that pushed him to hurt the boy even more in an attempt to exorcize the ghosts of his own past when his mother... "Probably," he continued in a taunting tone, "he merely allowed you to stay with him in hope to lure me." 

Hisoka squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the new wave of tears. It couldn't be true! It couldn't be! Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki... He wouldn't... Tsuzuki... 

The breaking of a window startled them both, rudely interrupting their discussion and thoughts. Hisoka didn't dare look at the source of the noise, but simply curled up hurriedly, hiding his head under his arms. 

"Yo, Sensei. Is the check-up over?" a voice asked, trembling with suppressed anger. He knew the owner of that voice. He knew him. He knew him. He knew his warmest and his darkest emotions but it couldn't be him, it couldn't be... 

"Why, are you ill, Tsuzuki-san?" **_NUSHI-SAMA_** asked. Tsuzuki? Tsuzuki was there? Tsuzuki! Was he really Tsuzuki? He forced himself to raise his head and to look at the man who had just entered. 

"Tsuzuki!" he exclaimed, feeling the desperate need to cry. "You... you... Why did you come! This is a trap!" Tsuzuki looked down at him. There was no trace of the happy, childish facade he showed when he was around the others. Hisoka lowered his head in shame, remembering his own state. 

"... Did you really think I could leave you here?" Tsuzuki merely asked, and he sounded... hurt. Hisoka sobbed, his shoulders trembling slightly. Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki should have left him there... everyone else would have... no one ever came for him before... so Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki... 

"Did you really come to take the boy back?" Muraki asked, lifting a delicate silver eyebrow. He knew Tsuzuki-san was rumoured to be very kind and soft-hearted, he saw personally how he had wasted his time waiting to know how a passing little girl, who had happened to faint near him, was, and yet he found it oddly ironic. How much of a caring fool could he be? Going straight into a trap for such a miserable creature like his doll? Didn't he realize people around him were just cruel, and would repay his kindness with hate and false accusations? Hadn't he, in his almost 100 years of life, learnt anything? Hadn't he too been hurt, unfairly accused, mistreated, and abused, as Muraki had been? Hadn't he too longed for revenge? 

"Yes, I came to take him back," Tsuzuki-san replied to his question, in a cold, nearly hissing voice, his fury almost palpable, "Because whatever examination you're planning is going to be troubling." 

Beautiful. Tsuzuki-san was beautiful as he was glaring at him, his amazing power surrounding him like a halo. Muraki could sense the mortal threat the man represented, but more than anything else he was captured by the man's beauty, by those eyes of a bloodthirsty beast fixed on him, threatening to burn a hole in his chest with their mere glare. It was beautiful, really, almost intoxicating, and Muraki would always remember it, always long for it. He offered Tsuzuki-san one of his most charming smiles, unafraid. 

"Tsuzuki-san, do you know exactly what this boy is?" he asked, his voice soft and sensual even as he talked of such a trivial matter like his doll. "He's nothing more than a doll, a plaything, a cursed child that not even his parents wanted. I admit he's mildly pretty and a talented whore - as many other men can confirm, as well - but nothing more," he reported with a shrug, in a casual discursive tone, as if he was talking about garbage and not about a living being. Hisoka listened to him, curled up on himself on the floor, wishing he could just die again, and this time, get the oblivion he had so longed for. Sobs were shaking his small frame as a sense of hopelessness possessed him. He was... he was... he was nothing more than a... And Tsuzuki now knew, Tsuzuki had heard and surely he wouldn't ever keep... No one would keep him... No one... Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki... 

Tsuzuki looked down at Hisoka's trembling form, his frown deepening. How could this man, this doctor, cause so much pain, be so... He turned his glare to Muraki, and if looks could kill, the man would have met a very painful death right then. 

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki called. "Come here." 

Hisoka blinked, not sure he had heard right, then, shyly, dared to look up at Tsuzuki. The man had reached out a hand towards him, a gesture that implied clearly that he expected Hisoka would get up and reach for it, even if his eyes weren't leaving **_NUSHI-SAMA_**, and they looked as ferocious as the ones of a dangerous predator. It was weird, but he wasn't scared by them - on the contrary, he felt nearly... protected. Safe. 

"Come," Tsuzuki repeated. There was no anger, no disgust in the man's feelings for him. They still projected the same affection, the same care they had right from day one, and this made him want to cry, even harder than he had before, even if for a completely different reason. All the anger, all the disgust Tsuzuki felt was directed toward **_NUSHI-SAMA_**, who was now smiling mockingly at Tsuzuki. **_HE_** didn't think he would manage to find the strength to move and go to Tsuzuki, nor that he would have dared to try it. 

Tsuzuki. The only one who had stood beside him when he was feeling sick. Tsuzuki. The only one who had cared for him to the point that he came straight into a trap to save him. Tsuzuki. He wanted to go to Tsuzuki. Stubbornly, he clenched his fists, and using a strength he didn't know he possessed, he managed to drag himself up and to run to Tsuzuki. Run. Such a big word. But he was moving, and for a moment, **_HE_** didn't notice it, busy as **_HE_** was in a staring contest with Tsuzuki, so sure he wouldn't have dared to try to move without **_HIS_** permission. Hisoka didn't care about his permission, or of the consequences of his disobedience anymore. All he wanted was to be with Tsuzuki. Nothing else mattered. 

Unluckily, it didn't take much for **_HIM_** to notice his little act of rebellion and to react, but by then, Tsuzuki had already moved and pushed Hisoka to the ground, out of the way of the spell **_HE_** threw at them. They landed on the floor, hard, and Tsuzuki quickly rolled them out of the way of the second spell, then answered the attack with one of his own. Hisoka felt the tension between Tsuzuki and **_NUSHI-SAMA_** rise. They were both very powerful. It wasn't going to be an easy battle. It didn't matter to him. As long as he could hide in Tsuzuki's arms, the world around him didn't exist. 

"What the hell do you want from us, Muraki! Why did you use Maria and Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, still kneeling, holding Hisoka protectively against his chest. The boy was clinging to him, apparently unable to do anything else. He wasn't even crying or trembling anymore. Tsuzuki hoped he wasn't going into shock, and his worry for Hisoka was only increasing his anger towards Muraki. 

"You don't get it?" Muraki asked in an amused tone, smiling almost innocently. "It is all for you," he said, in what looked like a purr. "If there is a problem with the deaths, JuOhCho will react. KyuShu is your zone. They will send **_you_** to deal with it," Muraki explained in the almost patient tone he would have used with a child. 

Tsuzuki's eyes hardened. A tiny part of him groaned in annoyance. Great, so now he had another stalker to add to his list. The rest of him just felt guilty, and Hisoka gulped, almost drowning in the intensity of the wave of guilt he felt from Tsuzuki, as if he really believed it was his fault if **_NUSHI-SAMA_** had created a vampire and kidnapped Hisoka. He clung to Tsuzuki harder, wanting so badly to be able to comfort him, but not knowing how. He had never been comforted, and he had no idea how to do it. 

**_NUSHI-SAMA_** continued talking, telling Tsuzuki his own sob story about his inborn ability to absorb other people's energy and how it pained him to be a doctor. Hisoka didn't listen. He didn't care. He had already looked more than enough times into **_HIS_** darkness, into **_HIS_** madness. However, Tsuzuki did. Tsuzuki could feel pity for someone like **_NUSHI-SAMA_** too. Oh, he wasn't forgiving **_HIM_** for what he'd done, he was merely... _'understanding'_. And when **_HE_** said **_HE_** had lured Tsuzuki there because he was the most powerful and **_HE_** wanted that power for himself, Tsuzuki hesitated for a second. He didn't want all his power, he didn't want his life. Yet he knew he couldn't allow Muraki to have his power either. A man who had used Maria, sacrificed so many people, and did what he'd done to Hisoka. No, he would never allow Muraki to get what he wanted. 

"**_WE_** aren't tools to soothe your wounds!" he replied angrily. "Muraki, I won't let you get away with this!" he stated, and as he did so, the area before them exploded. It didn't help much since Muraki was now protected by a Kekkai. 

"You have no right to lecture me, ne, Tsuzuki-san?" the man answered, in a taunting, mocking voice. "How many have you killed, how many did you use in name of Enma DaiOh-sama?" 

Tsuzuki winced inside. It was true. He was no better than Muraki, and yet he still couldn't allow the man to get away with what he was doing. Noticing Tsuzuki's hesitation, Muraki wasted no time, and summoned one of the Magami(5) under his control, a yellowish monster with several heads that Muraki called Shoki. 

Too late, Tsuzuki realized what he was doing, and moved to get away from the thunder one of the three heads of the creature threw in his direction. Holding Hisoka was reducing his capability of movement, but he knew he couldn't let go of the youth. Hisoka had no way to defend himself, he was hurt and scared, and anyway, whatever Kekkai he could build in three seconds wouldn't last long against the creature's strength. Simple Fuda spells couldn't do much against a Magami that powerful... he had to summon one of his Shiki... but Muraki's _'pet'_ wasn't giving him the time to say the spell. Things turned worse when the Magami managed to trip him up, dragging Hisoka to the ground as well. It was time to make an important decision, and the most logical one involved getting up fast to avoid the incoming blow, and abandon Hisoka to his destiny. Alone he could face Muraki much more easily. 

Tsuzuki didn't care about logic. He was going to protect Hisoka, he decided, as he shielded the boy with his own body. He clenched his teeth and didn't scream when the thunder hit him hard. It didn't kill him, he was a strong Shinigami and could take worse hits, but it was enough to knock him out, unable to move, slumping over Hisoka. Muraki frowned. He didn't like how Tsuzuki-san had protected that unworthy boy. He knew, he had always known, that Tsuzuki-san had a weakness for those who were helpless but still... it bugged him, not being at the centre of the man's thoughts. He didn't like that, he didn't want to be ignored ever again. 

"Tsuzuki?" the boy, or rather, **_his_** doll, called weakly. "Tsuzuki, open your eyes! Tsuzuki!" his doll screamed, panicking and hugging the man almost desperately. Stupid boy. He had been nothing else but a nuisance to Tsuzuki-san, and now he also pretended to order the unconscious man around? 

"See, Nyngyou? That's happened to him because he tried to protect something as worthless as a disobedient doll like you," he taunted cruelly. The boy had ruined his battle with Tsuzuki-san. He should have gotten rid of him as soon as Tsuzuki-san had joined them. Besides, it bugged him how **_his_** doll had disobeyed him. A puppet couldn't escape the control of his puppet master. "It's all your fault, you know. Had you stayed put on the floor Tsuzuki-san wouldn't have been hurt. Even better, had he never come here to save your worthless life, he..." 

"Shut up!" Hisoka interrupted him. Muraki blinked. It was the first time his doll had dared to talk back at him in that tone. "Shut up!" Hisoka repeated, his eyes shining in anger. "Tsuzuki is stronger than that! He's the best in all of Meifu, and he would never care about you because you mean nothing to him!" he exclaimed without even knowing what he was saying. He had picked up Muraki's feelings for the man, of course, and had felt strangely... jealous?... angry?... possessive?... but... but it had been an unconscious reaction, one he hadn't been aware of. All he had wanted was to hurt Muraki for hurting Tsuzuki, but he didn't exactly know how to do it. "Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki..." his initial ardor was leaving him, making space for his growing fear and guilt. It had been his fault, he knew it. He would do everything he could to help Tsuzuki, he would give his own life to help him, but truth be told he was merely a child with no Jujutsu knowledge. They'd told him he had potential, but no one had ever tried to teach him how to use that potential. Frustration at being helpless outmatched his fear as he desperately wished he could do something, anything to save Tsuzuki. At least he had to save Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki had been the only one who cared for him. He wouldn't let **_NUSHI-SAMA_** hurt him, no matter what. Muraki smirked. The boy couldn't, and wouldn't pose a threat to him. He was going to get what he wanted and teach his doll obedience again before getting rid of him. 

"Silly Nyngyou. I will tear apart his body before your eyes. I'd like to see you trembling in fear as you did during our three years of living together!" Muraki told him mockingly. Hisoka tightened his hold around Tsuzuki, refusing to let go or to be intimidated. No. He wouldn't allow **_NUSHI-SAMA_** to touch Tsuzuki. He would die first. Possibly dragging **_NUSHI-SAMA_** with him again. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. No, Tsuzuki's cute white bird isn't a Shiki. Tsukaima are created with a spell, which usually involved using a Fuda as well, while Shikigami in YnM are living beings residing in GenSoKai that are summoned by a spell. I know that in **'X/1999'** the ones Subaru and Seishiro used are called Shiki as well, but in YnM it seems there's a difference between Tsukaima and Shikigami and I stick to it.

2. Ruka is Tsuzuki's sister. She's mentioned in the manga but not much info is given about her.

3. Why Maria's body deteriorated so fast? Well, once the spell that was keeping her _'alive'_ stopped working, her body returned to its original state. I don't know what is the exact state of a corpse after a month, but her body, due to Muraki's spell, had also been exposed to an unprotected atmosphere and the spell also _'consumed'_ it. As for why her Reikon now moved directly to Meifu... Reikon that don't have ties to ChiJou are supposed to do so naturally. Muraki had tied her Reikon to her body with that spell. Tsuzuki had nullified Muraki's spell. For a while she had been sustained by the power she had collected previously but once she had finished it and her body started to die again there were no more ties. Oh, yes, I know in the manga it didn't happen so fast... but I wanted her out of the picture ok? Please forgive me for this.

4. Why is Muraki abusing Hisoka when he never did it in the manga, except for that one time when Hisoka was alive? Well, in this AU he did it for the three years before Hisoka's death. It's just habit to him, a way to pass time. No romantic feelings involved. And yes, this is sick, but Muraki is insane after all...

5. Magami is written with the kanji 'Ma': 'demon' (it's the one you find also in the word 'Akuma') and 'Kami': 'God' (it's the one you find also in the word 'Shikigami'). I'm not sure if it's the canon term used for Muraki's summoned creatures but they apparently aren't Shikigami and the Italian version of the manga called them _'Demon Gods'_ so I will use this term to call them. And no this _'Magami'_ has nothing to do with the _'Magami'_ family you see in **'X/1999'**. They're written with different kanji even if they're translitterated with the same word. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Originally Maria's _'death'_ shouldn't have been put here. She should have just felt weak and that was going to be all. I didn't want her to go with Tsuzuki. Ok, so in the manga she freed Hisoka from his bond but besides this it was pretty useless and risky to drag her along to that place. My only explanation about why Tsuzuki did it in the manga is that he just _'can't say no to girls'_. I know it seems bad that he wastes his time being with her when Hisoka is in danger, but well... Tsuzuki is a nice and caring person and she's dying... sort of... and the two had much in common like being both suicidal, alone, and used by someone else more powerful. I just couldn't see him leaving her alone that easily. If it makes you feel better, no, he wasn't romantically involved with her even if Maria kind of had a crush on him.  
To be honest in the fist volume of the manga, Muraki didn't care for Tsuzuki that much, and Matsushita-sensei hadn't thought yet at his past but well... I added anyway that Muraki found Tsuzuki fascinating, even if it is based solely on Tsuzuki's looks... and I made him bitter about his past...  
If I can complain it had been complicated to deal with Muraki, because in the **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version his characterization is different from the rest of the manga. I had to modify his behaviour so that it would match the one in volume 1 as well as the one he kept in the following volumes... I'm not very satisfied with the result.  
I'd like to point out that I think **'Funeral Song'** is perfectly fitting for the **'Kyoto Arc'** but if I have to be honest I think the whole Rasmus album **'Dead Letters'** is a perfect background for YnM so...  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing this. Anyway... for those who want the basic differences...  
In the manga after Muraki kidnapped Hisoka, Tsuzuki stared at the wall wondering if Hisoka was well. Maria joined him and tried to take responsibility for what had happened but Tsuzuki reassured her. Meanwhile, Muraki, after having some fun stabbing Hisoka (who was bound to a column with a Kekkai made with women's hair) with a knife, commented that the boy was already healing. He also informed Hisoka that he was the bait to lure Tsuzuki, and that they met previously under a Sakura. Back at the studio Tsuzuki's Tsukaima returned. Tsuzuki was about to leave when Maria managed to persuade him to take her too. At the same time Muraki made Hisoka remember their first meeting and how he had abused and cursed him. He'd have liked to do more but Tsuzuki came in, crashing through a window. Hisoka told him it was a trap. Tsuzuki asked him if he really thought he would abandon him. Muraki informed Tsuzuki all he did was to lure Tsuzuki. Plus he also said that he had the power to absorb other people's energy and that the loss of many patients drove him insane making him wish for Tsuzuki's power. The two started fighting. Maria freed Hisoka but the Kekkai Tsuzuki put around them wasn't strong enough to stand the power emanated during the battle so the Kekkai broke down. To save Hisoka and Maria from Muraki's Shoki, Tsuzuki is hit. Muraki informed Hisoka he planned to murder Tsuzuki in front of him. Muraki and Hisoka started talking.  
So no, in the manga there's no date between Muraki and Tsuzuki, GuShoShin didn't show up and Muraki didn't use bats. He also made no attempt to flirt with Tsuzuki or inform him about what he did in the past to Hisoka. Also, Hisoka had never been about to die of blood loss (even if Tsuzuki had been worried about it). 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Fuda:** Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells  
**GenSoKai:** "Illusory World". It's where Shikigami reside and it's a mirror copy of ChiJou located in JuOhCho network  
**Jujutsu:** Magic Art  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kami:** God  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**Magami:** "Demon God". Summoned evil creatures  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Nyngyou:** Doll  
**Reikon:** Soul  
**Sensei:** Doctor  
**Shiki:** Short for 'Shikigami'  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". Summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai  
**Shinigami:** "God of death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu  
**Tsukaima:** "Familiar Magic" or "Messenger Magic" or "Useable Magic". A summoned creature created with a Fuda specifically for a determinate purpose (pursuing targets, carrying messages, attacking enemies, spying)

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Mitts**: I'm glad you like how 'Gifts' is developing! The fic is Tsuzuki/Hisoka centered but Watari will surely have also a role in it... as for Tatsumi... he might make an apparence, I'm not too sure about this (to be honest he should have showed up in one of the previous chapters but then that part was cut). 

To **kaori-chan**: Here's more! I hope you will like this chap also! 

To **Alanna Evelyn**: blush Thank you! 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I'm trying to update as fast as possible... sadly work didn't give me much time... Thanks for always reviewing!

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Will Muraki kill both Tsuzuki and Hisoka or will they manage to escape him?

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	9. Chap 8 The Day Of Fate

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 8: The Day Of Fate -Soul vs Soul-"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Toki wa michite  
Oo Meshia Oo Meshia-ra _**

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA VELE  
YUDULIYA-VELE  
YUDULIYA AIYALIYA 

Aa, soko-nashi no kyoufu wo hikitsure  
Aa, semarikuru jaaku na ta - ma - shi - i 

Makerarenai unmei no wakare me  
Yaru shika nai Yoake ni inochi wo kakete  
Kono te de! 

WOW WOW Kanarazu  
Ore wa ore wo koete 'ku ze!  
WOW WOW Ki wo atsumete  
Kurayami wo tobase!"  
("Time overflows  
O god O gods

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA VELE  
YUDULIYA-VELE  
YUDULIYA IYALIYA 

Ah, drawing fathomless terror  
Ah, evil spirits come near 

I won't lose The eyes that depart from destiny  
I can only go on Leaving life to the dawn  
By my own strength! 

WOW WOW Definitely  
I'm the one who will surpass myself!  
WOW WOW Gather your energy  
Blow away destiny!")  
(Hironobu Kageyama - "Unmei No Hi Tamashii vs Tamashii")(1) 

He was there, sitting on the cold floor of their miserable house, in a darkness dispelled only by the pale light of a candle. She was there too, sitting near him, holding his hand, the same look of love in her purple eyes shining in his own amethyst ones. Weird, inhuman eyes, eyes of monsters. They were the only ones with those abnormal eyes. Alone in the world. But as long as they were together they weren't alone and it was fine. It was okay, it could still be beautiful. There could still be happiness. He smiled, and she smiled back, the two mirroring an expression of love. That was life, that was happiness, that was his everything, that was his strength and his soul. If only it could last forever. He knew it wouldn't. He knew that as the candle burned and the light of the flame dimmed, the illusion that what belonged only to the past was real was fading as well. His hold on his sister's hand tightened as the sensation of holding it dimmed. He couldn't, he couldn't keep her with him and he knew it, he just... he just couldn't accept it, refused to accept it in the same way he knew there was nothing he could do to stop her from leaving him. She was already a silhouette, a dark silhouette that lived in his mind only, but he wanted to cling to the illusion a little more, only another minute, only another second, only another... 

Then darkness fell and he was alone. 

Alone, as usual. 

Alone.(2) 

The door opened, allowing light to filter through the darkness, and he could recognize the form of the same man who had come for him the first time darkness had fell on him, standing in the doorway, watching him with the same kind and understanding smile he'd had that first time. Natsume Sempai.(3) His first partner. His first mentor. His first friend. With his kindness, his confidence, his acceptance. With his strength, his power, his ability. Enma DaiOh's right hand man. Oldest Shinigami in Meifu, older than even Konoe Kacho himself. Best Jujutsu expert. A barely acceptable swordsman who firmly believed he was even better than Himura Battosai(4). Proud of taking care of the Kyushu territory, his birth country. A troublemaker who never did paperwork and always played pranks on his co-workers. Stubborn and willed enough to stand up to Enma himself. The man he had admired. The man he had wanted to be. The man he had failed to save. There he was in that illusion, in that dream, smiling at him like he always did, calling him back to reality like he had done for so many years. 

"Come on, Asato-kun, it's time to get back to work..." 

Yes, it was time. He smiled back and stood, ready to go, ready to face reality once again. 

"I'm coming... Sempai..." 

* * *

As he half opened his eyes and returned to consciousness, Tsuzuki was immediately hit by the distinct impression that something was _'wrong'_. 

He was one of those _'lucky'_ persons who needed only a few seconds, if not less, to be fully awake, and so he also remembered clearly what had happened, remembered Hisoka being kidnapped, Muraki, the Magami and the blow he took.(5) 

He also knew that with the injury he had sustained, even with his Shinigami high healing power, he would have needed a good amount of time before recovering consciousness again, more than enough time for Muraki to attack them again or... well... do something. Even if his mind was alert, his body felt numb, disconnected from his mind, too weak and pained to move, even if only a little bit. Yet apparently both Hisoka and himself were still in the same position they had been before he fainted, and apparently still unharmed. 

What had stalled Muraki for so long? 

him to assimilate the foreign energy but was simply forcing it inside him, similar to gulping down too much food all at once. 

Uncomfortable. 

But it was working, he realized, as he felt his strength returning fast. But who...? He realized he was being hugged tighter. Hisoka. He should have understood it sooner. They had told him the boy had great potential healing powers. He was ready to bet that Hisoka was probably not even aware of what he was doing. Lucky boy who had the gift to heal others... 

Healing powers were, basically, the ability to pass the healer's energy to an injured person, but an energy transfusion was in a way like a blood transfusion. If you passed incompatible energy you ended up killing the person you wanted to heal. Tsuzuki's energy was simply too strong, too thick, too raw to be donated. Only Tsuzuki's Shiki were able to bear it. Hisoka's energy, on the other hand, was... just perfect, he realized, as he became more aware of his surroundings.(6) Hisoka and Muraki were talking, apparently unaware he was recovering. Either his feelings were still too... numb for Hisoka's empathy to catch them up, or the boy was too focused. 

He needed a plan. 

Hisoka wouldn't stall Muraki forever, but he needed a bit more strength to manage to summon one of his twelve Shikigami. Hisoka's hold tightened as Muraki threatened him. Tsuzuki groaned internally. The man was going to attack again and he hadn't enough strength yet. 

**_'Keep him talking Hisoka! Keep him talking!'_** he thought frenetically. 

The child nearly jumped as if he had effectively heard Tsuzuki's voice in his head but couldn't believe he really had.(7) 

**_'Keep him talking Hisoka! It's our only chance!'_** he thought again. 

If someone had bothered to teach Hisoka how to control his empathy or his healing powers, even minimally, he would have considered synchronizing with the boy. It would have made everything easier, but like this it was a risk they couldn't face. Without a control over the boy's empathy their whole personality and sanity were at stake, at risk to merge one into another and became unable to separate again later, and the whole process could end up causing more damage than help. 

So now they had to use plan B. Hisoka was talking to Muraki, apparently getting him to talk back. Good boy. Madmen always had a thing for long speeches and it seemed Muraki was no exception. Now, about his summon... Suzaku-Neesan would do. He would need all his ReiKi to summon her but she probably would sense he was in danger and hurry to come. 

Fire Shiki were like that. Overprotective.(8) He would have smiled had he the strength to do so. He loved them for it too. 

He felt Hisoka's trembling increase. Muraki was moving to attack. Enough stalling. It was time to try. 

**_'Hisoka! The spell I taught you to create a Kekkai around the television studio! Use it now!'_**

He almost felt the child's confusion. Yes, as weird as it was, the child could hear him, their minds connected even if neither of them was a real telepath. Nostalgia threatened to drown him at the memory of the only other long dead person capable to do so, but he fought it back, in face of the present danger. 

**_'Now, Hisoka! You remember how to do it, don't you?'_** he thought again. 

Hisoka nodded, accepting without question the improvised mind communication, and murmured the words just in time to create a Kekkai before the Magami hit.(9) Of course the Kekkai shattered at the first blow, but it managed to take the full impact of the hit before shattering, keeping them unharmed. Good boy, a corner of Tsuzuki's mind noted, he did the spell right. Using Muraki's hesitation that came from the surprise and the confusion for that last stunt, Tsuzuki gained the last seconds he needed to collect his strength and make his summon before the man could give another order to his creature. 

"Humbly I present my wish to those twelve that grant me divine protection. I command you to appear before me. Come forth, Suzaku!" he said in a low voice, more like a murmur as he felt his energies lowering again, the summon sucking away power from him like a hungry newborn would with his mother's milk. Now the trick was to stay conscious. Suzaku wouldn't attack him no matter how messed up he was, but should he lose consciousness, she risked losing the energy she needed to stay in ChiJou as well. It was his power that allowed Suzaku to move from GenSoKai to ChiJou and to take a physical living form there. Without it, it could be troublesome for Suzaku to remain on her own.(10) 

With some difficulties he managed to turn towards Muraki, Suzaku hovering over them, ready to attack or to protect. He felt Muraki releasing his grip on his Magami, allowing it to return to the world from which it came and summoning another.(11) 

OhRyu, one of the highest dragons, was now facing them. It still shouldn't be a problem for Suzaku-Neesan, the NanpouSyugoJyu. If he managed to stay conscious, that was it. Muraki and himself simultaneously gave the order to attack and witnessed as the two summoned creatures' powers hit each other till the point when Suzaku's prevailed, wrapping OhRyu and the ground around him and his master in flames. He heard Muraki's voice from behind the wall of insurmountable fire and he became dimly aware the man was laughing as he slumped back against Hisoka, unable to sustain himself any longer. Suzaku's form faded into nothingness as she returned to GenSoKai. Next time he saw her she was probably going to scold him for having been careless and allowing himself to get hurt. He sighed as he felt some energy returning to him and was dangerously close to slipping into unconsciousness again when a voice tugged at his consciousness. 

"... uki! ... uzuki! Tsuzuki!" Hisoka cried as he felt Tsuzuki going limp. He hadn't quite understood what had happened, but he was starting to feel weaker and more nauseous and the flames were starting to envelop the whole building and... Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki... 

"We've to leave," Tsuzuki managed to murmur, fighting to keep his eyes open. They couldn't rematerialize in Meifu, neither of them had enough energy for that, and if they tried to go in their spirit forms as weak as they were, they would be too... unstable to be safe, to hold their souls together, so they had to get out using their legs.(12) Tsuzuki managed to raise himself slightly, more due to his stubbornness than everything else, and Hisoka did the same. Together, limping and dangling, sustaining each other and leaning on each other, they managed to get out and ten steps away from the building before collapsing on the ground, panting. Neither of them dared to move at first, while the sirens of the firemen's vehicles sounded closer. Tsuzuki forced out a sigh. 

"Another building destroyed. I don't want to know how much I will have to pay for the damage this time," he mused, forcing a normal even if barely audible tone, trying to roll in a more comfortable position and not lean on Hisoka at the same time.(13) The boy breathed in relief as Tsuzuki's weight was moved from on top of him, then whimpered. Weakness and nausea were starting to get too strong for him to bear. He was still using his powers to heal Tsuzuki but his empathy was reflecting the effects of the forced healing on him too. 

"Hisoka. Stop it, boy, or we'll both be sick," Tsuzuki warned. Hisoka looked at him confused, not understanding what Tsuzuki was talking about. "I'll be fine, Hisoka. No need to keep passing me your energy," Tsuzuki explained. Hisoka felt even more confused. He was... but he didn't even know how he was doing it! 

"I... I..." he whimpered, unable to explain himself better in his tired and emotionally exhausted state. Tsuzuki understood his problem anyway. The man had a gift for understanding other people's problems as easily as he swallowed sweets. 

"Relax. I'll be fine. Think only this. I'm fine and you have to relax. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine," he murmured in Hisoka's ear softly, as he wrapped his arm around the boy a little tighter. Somehow Tsuzuki's soothing chant echoed in his mind too, sounding real enough for him to believe it. Something... unlocked inside Hisoka, and the boy relaxed, tears of exhaustion coming to his eyes. The nausea receded and both of them sighed in relief. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he whimpered, "I wanted to help but I didn't know how to and I... I..." 

"You did well. You did very well. You did amazingly well, so don't worry anymore," Tsuzuki reassured him while hugging him. Tsuzuki's healing system was finally moving to an acceptable pace now. It was slower than before but more effective, like a carefully done job instead of a rushed one. Hisoka managed to curl against Tsuzuki, crying and hiding his face against the man's chest, like a scared child, not caring anymore if it was proper or allowed. He only wanted to be with Tsuzuki, to stay close to him, safe in his arms. 

"You've been brave Hisoka, very brave. I'm proud of you," Tsuzuki whispered reassuringly, smiling down at him, as he managed to stroke the boy's honey blond hair gently. He allowed them both another couple of minutes of rest before realizing the sirens were now echoing too close for his liking. They would do better to get up if they didn't want to have to explain what they were doing near the burning building to the firemen, and most likely to the police as well. Tsuzuki, with a pained moan, managed to sit up, dragging Hisoka up as well and keeping him sitting on his lap. The boy was a mess and was wearing only his shirt, which was open. A wave of anger filled him. That bastard! He had... He felt Hisoka whimper as the boy's empathy picked up his rage, so he forced back that dark feeling, somehow removed his almost ruined coat and wrapped what remained of it around Hisoka's shoulders. That damned Magami had badly ripped and burned the material. Thank Kami-sama he had another coat at home but still... 

"We have to get back to Meifu," he announced, forcing back his annoyance at the loss of his coat. He was good at ignoring his feelings. Too good. He always paid for his ability in very unpleasant, mind sanity threatening ways, and he knew it even if he couldn't help it. 

"Ne Hisoka, I fear tonight we will both have to sleep in the infirmary," he said in a lighter tone. Hisoka looked up at him with fear filled eyes. One didn't need to be a genius to understand that Hisoka feared hospitals and doctors more than a Magami. "Don't worry," Tsuzuki assured him. "I won't allow anyone to hurt you. It'll be really okay this time." 

Hisoka forced down a whimper and leaned on him, energies spent, his fists still holding tightly onto Tsuzuki's shirt, refusing to let it go. The kid had done enough, had gone through enough, and Tsuzuki knew it. Physical injuries like the one he'd gotten would still heal fast, no matter how serious they were, especially when one was an old, strong Shinigami like him. What Muraki did to Hisoka, the emotional stress the boy had to deal with, and the healing attempt without even being conscious of it, were going to require more time, especially from an almost newborn, weak Shinigami like Hisoka. Tsuzuki managed to stand, another action he could accomplish more due to his strong will than to the physical strength he had at the moment, and holding Hisoka in his arms carried them both just out of Enma-Cho. 

The place was almost empty due to the late hour but Tsuzuki knew if he managed to limp to Watari's lab, he would probably find him there.(14) Watari almost lived in his lab, using his house only seldom, and as Tsuzuki was relieved to discover, as he slumped sitting on the floor in exhaustion, that day wasn't an exception. Watari was there, and as soon as he saw the messy condition in which his co-workers were, he rushed to help. 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. **'Unmei No Hi Tamashii vs Tamashii'** is an insert song from **Dragonball Z**. I've been told it's played when Gohan fought Cell. It was tragically censored in the Italian version.

2. For those who haven't guessed, the girl is Ruka, Tsuzuki's sister. I'm supposing she too had purple eyes. In the manga it is never said if she also had them or not.

3. In _'Yami no Matsuei Character Sketchbook'_ there's a page with pictures of a certain Natsume-san. My poor Japanese knowledge only allowed me to understand this guy was Tsuzuki's caretaker (no idea if he was his mentor when Tsuzuki was alive or when he was a Shinigami and I'm not even sure if I understood this right). Anyway I decided to use this name for Tsuzuki's first partner. I made him up of course and I pictured him as someone who was in Meifu by longer than Konoe and well, had been the strongest Shinigami Enma-Cho had before Tsuzuki. After all in Vol. 3 Tsuzuki said he learned Jujutsu from his sempai who worked in the second district and it make sense that a promising Shinigami like Tsuzuki had been left in the care of someone powerful and expert. In addition to this they had likely been partners for long time considering that Tsuzuki joined Enma-Cho around 70 years before the series start and Tatsumi, Tsuzuki's third partner, around 50. This leaves 20 years in which Tsuzuki had two partners only and I'm assuming he spent a good part of those 20 years with his first partner.

4. Himura Battosai was a legendary samurai and a very skilled swordman who lived in the Heian Era (If I'm not wrong). The manga **'Rurouni Kenshin'** is based on him.

5. Apparently Tsuzuki wakes fast in the manga while Hisoka needs a lot of time before being fully awake. This doesn't mean Tsuzuki doesn't fall asleep at work.

6. I made up the whole theory about healing powers. Nowhere in the manga is it explained how they work but it's said that Tsuzuki's Shiki use Tsuzuki's energy to materialize in ChiJou so I guess, if my theory is correct, they would be able to _'feed'_ on Tsuzuki's energy.

7. Hisoka's powers are clearly stated as empathy so someone has an idea about how he's a telepath when Tsuzuki is around? I made up an explanation that will be exposed in future chap. but it's still a mystery...

8. I've no idea if all the Fire Shiki are overprotective. Suzaku surely is and Touda is, in his own way, protective of Tsuzuki as well.

9. Since Muraki tortured Hisoka in a way different from the manga he had enough strength to build a kekkai, even if a weak one.

10. Normally, if a Shikigami senses that the one who summoned him is weak, he would turn against him. Tsuzuki's Shiki, however, are connected to Tsuzuki not only by their bond of servitude but also by a deep affection and would never attack him no matter if he's conscious or not (See Vol. 8). Also... a Shikigami needs to use his summoner's power to materialize outside GenSoKai and keep a physical form. I suppose, since long time ago Shikigami lived on ChiJou, they could still manage it without their summoner's power but it would require them to use a good part of their own energy.

11. Anyone have any idea about where Muraki's Shoki went? I supposed he sent it back but the manga didn't bother to explain it...

12. Let's go on with the list of unexplained things... how do Shinigami move from Meifu to ChiJou and vice versa? YnM fandom usually suggests teleportation but nowhere in the manga is it stated that Shinigami can teleport, just that they _'can move from Meifu to ChiJou and vice versa'_. This travel implies more of a _'dimension warp'_ than a teleportation (teleportation implies a sudden movement from a place to another, not from a plane of existence to another), and in addition to this it is said several times that Shinigami had to walk or use trains or other vehicles to reach their destination. So no, I'm not going to use teleportation in this fic. They can fly and they can turn into their spirit form, which is incorporeal and invisible to human eyes (unless they've a strong ReiKan). As for the _'moving from Meifu to ChiJou and vice versa'_... would you be tremendously annoyed with me if I don't go into how they actually do it?

13. In the manga it's said that Tsuzuki had to pay for the building he destroyed while in ChiJou... which is kinda weird because I doubt someone would go all way to Meifu to get money from him... so I'm supposing that, since Meifu is a reflection of ChiJou, if Tsuzuki blows up a building in ChiJou he automatically blows up one in Meifu. The thing doesn't work the reverse way or he would have destroyed Tokyo Diet Building twice (one in Vol. 2 and one in Vol. 8)

14. Yes, in the manga is said that Watari had an apartment somewhere in Meifu's version of Tokyo but practically lives in his lab. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
The whole dream sequence Tsuzuki had while he was unconscious was a _'last moment addition'_. Somehow I like it very much. I would appreciate greatly if someone could tell me what the _'Yami no Matsuei Character Sketchbook'_ says about Natsume-san.  
Some of you can miss the whole synchronizing thing. Personally I'm not fond of it and anyway I couldn't really use it since Hisoka doesn't know how to handle his empathy.  
I would have liked to develop Muraki further but... there was no space... sorry about this.  
I had to make up a lot of explanations about how things work... I hope everything is clear.  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing this. Anyway... for those who want the basic differences...  
In the manga Tsuzuki asks Hisoka to synchronize with him. The two join forces. Muraki summons OhRyu. Tsuzuki makes sure Maria is fine then sends her away, and uses Hisoka's body to summon and control Suzaku that beats OhRyu. Muraki rambles while he's surrounded by the flames. Outside, Maria sees the building being consumed by the fire. She's worried but then she sees Tsuzuki, carrying Hisoka, walking out from it.  
So no, in the manga Suzaku didn't fight the Shoki/Hydra thing but OhRyu, and well, Maria had the role that GuShoShin had in the anime. Let me also point out that I didn't understand why Tsuzuki used Hisoka's body to summon Suzaku if he could move around... oh well... 

**Dictionary:**  
**-kun:** Young  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**GenSoKai:** "Illusory World". It's where Shikigami reside and it's a mirror copy of ChiJou located in JuOhCho network  
**GuShoShin:** "Twin Living Gods" or "Twin Gods of Life". Enma-Cho's chicken-like librarians  
**Jujutsu:** Magic Art  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**Magami:** "Demon God". Summoned evil creatures  
**Kami:** God  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**NanpouSyugoJyu:** "South Guardian Beast". Suzaku's title  
**Neesan:** "Sister" or "Older Girl"  
**OhRyu:** King Dragon  
**ReiKan:** Spirit Sense  
**ReiKi:** "Spirit Energy" or "Spirit Aura"  
**Sempai:** "Older Workmate" or "Older Classmate"  
**Shiki:** Short for 'Shikigami'  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". Summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai  
**Shinigami:** "God of death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! 

To **Silverfox**: I'm happy to hear you like this too! Thank you for reading it and yes... I mourn Touda's absence in this story... 

To **tenshiamanda**: LOL! Can you whack Muraki for me too please? 

To **GoldenRat**: Even if technically this Hisoka is less strong and more messed up I wanted him to keep his courage. Hisoka's real strength lies inside him. 

To **Chaos-Empersonified**: This chap is a bit more happier. I hope you like it! 

To **Daemonchan**: I love 'In the Shadow'! Such a great song! As for Tsuzuki... well I do think he's a nice person but with his own dark side as everyone else. He's just better at hiding it because he refuses to allow it to hurt other and he's scared that others would abandon him if they knew he's not that nice. Tsuzuki's life must be hard... 

To **Touya's Angel**: I'm trying to finish it! After this there are only 2 more chapters so it's almost done.

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
Being back to Enma-Cho doesn't necessary means troubles are ended... troubles are just around the corner... well... Not exactly... Enma's residence isn't so close but still...

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	10. Chap 9 By Myself

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 9: By Myself"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"What do I do to ignore them behind me  
Do I follow my instincts blindly  
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams  
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening  
Do I sit here and try to stand it  
Or do I try to catch them red-handed  
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness  
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness  
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin  
I make the right moves but I'm lost within  
I put on my daily facade but then  
I just end up getting hurt again"  
(Linkin Park - "By Myself")_**

It was late at night when Watari finally finished tending to Hisoka and Tsuzuki. 

To be honest, taking care of Tsuzuki hadn't been a big problem. The man had been seriously injured, but everything had already started to heal, and if it hadn't been for the fact that Hisoka needed to be cured as well, Tsuzuki would have likely gone straight home once returned from ChiJou, and fell asleep on his bed, counting solely on his healing powers to take care of his injuries. However, with Hisoka to consider, he had been forced to stop at the infirmary, and therefore could allow Watari to try to help him. Besides, Watari was merely a Shinigami playing substitute doctor, and thus, Tsuzuki's injuries wouldn't end in some official report.(1) Tsuzuki always did his best to not end in official medical reports. He too had had his share of problems with hospitals and doctors, and not only with them. Enma was always keeping an eye over whatever regarded him, and many men in Enma's staff would have gladly gotten rid of a dangerous Shinigami such as he was, and were only seeking an excuse to do so. Plus, he didn't want his friends to worry about him. He had dealt with injuries before and could do it again now. 

Taking care of Hisoka's injuries had been the real problem. The boy refused to be touched or even looked at by anyone other than Tsuzuki, and after a glance at Hisoka's injuries, Watari had no problem understanding why. 

Somehow, the both of them managed to take care of the worst of the injuries and to get some clean clothes for Hisoka, since what he was wearing was... well, a mess. The boy ended up curling in Tsuzuki's lap while Tsuzuki was trying to sit, leaning his weight on his shoulder, since his back was still a bit too sore for that. 

Watari then got them some food that Tsuzuki readily swallowed and partially managed to make Hisoka eat too. Later, as he watched as the boy sleep in his friend's lap, Watari asked Tsuzuki if, this time, he would keep his new partner. Tsuzuki frowned. 

"Our job isn't for him," the man muttered. 

"But you want to keep Bon," Watari insisted. 

"That's my problem, not his," came the reply. 

"No Tsuzuki, that's his problem too. Maybe you haven't realized it yet, but he wants you to keep him." Tsuzuki glared at him, disbelief evident in his features. 

"And, please tell me Watari, what do I offer him to make him wish to stay?" 

"You're so dense when you want to be, Tsuzuki! Don't you see how Bon clings to you? Can't you see you're the only one he trusts? I saw him when Konoe Kacho took him into the office. He was like... like he wasn't here, empty inside. And if someone came too close, he was frightened like a rabbit. That's why Konoe had to wait for you to show up before sending him to ChiJou. He's still a scared child inside, and he needs you. I don't think he'll be able to handle it if you abandon him." 

Tsuzuki didn't reply at first, merely turning his gaze away. He wasn't supposed to have a partner. No one in the office really expected him to have one. After his 4th partner died when Nagasaki was hit by the atomic bomb, they had started assigning him partners who lasted for one, maybe two or even three cases, and then ran as fast as they could. Some had stayed longer. Enma or an incident had taken care of them.(2) 

Enma didn't like the idea of him having a partner. Tsuzuki didn't understand why the Lord of Meifu had offered him Hisoka on a silver platter, but he was sure he was going to change his mind sooner or later. It wasn't really bad when one of his partners left or when Enma moved him or her to another office without even bothering to warn him, but he couldn't deal with losing his partners in accidents. It took a lot to kill a Shinigami, but once he was dead... it was even more definitive than killing a living being. His Reikon would disappear. He wouldn't exist anywhere. 

Tsuzuki was a Shinigami but he didn't cope well with death at all. He didn't want Hisoka to die. He held the boy tighter. He liked him too much already. He didn't want to lose him, and if this meant he couldn't have him... well, so be it. 

"You need to sleep," Watari announced, interrupting his thoughts. "Tomorrow you'll have a clearer idea about things." Tsuzuki nodded. Anything to stop that discussion. "Tsuzuki... I know you'll do as you please and I know you have your reasons to do so, but..." 

"I know you know, Watari. But it would be better if you didn't," Tsuzuki said simply. Watari smiled and patted his shoulder before leaving. Tsuzuki had his position as Enma's right hand, but Watari... he had once had a position among the _'Five Shogun'_.(3) As no one knew about Tsuzuki's second work, no one was supposed to know about Watari's previous one. Yet Tsuzuki had been in Enma-Cho for seventy years and he knew too much about the place to not have hint of what Watari had been before. As for Watari... He'd been there for only nineteen years but his previous position as Shogun had given him access in the past to some secret files, some of them involving Tsuzuki. Neither of the two knew for sure what the other was or had been, but they had their suspicions... and they respected the other's privacy. 

Once alone, Tsuzuki yawned. He knew the day after was going to be rough. He smoothed Hisoka's hair gently before trying to find a position that allowed them both to lie comfortably on the bed. Curled against him, Hisoka looked tremendously frail and helpless. Tsuzuki sighed. 

"Don't take me wrong Hisoka. I **_want_** to keep you," he whispered gently to the sleeping boy. "It's just that I'm not sure if we could pay the price for you staying with me. Besides, no matter what Watari said, if I was in your place, I would fly as fast as I could from me as well," he mused, as he snuggled closer to the boy. That could be the last moment the two of them shared, and he was going to enjoy it. The day after he would be amazed by how easily he fell into a dreamless sleep as soon as he had synchronized his breathing with Hisoka's... 

* * *

Morning light was filtering into Enma-Cho's infirmary in quite an intrusive way, at least in Tsuzuki's opinion. The man groaned as the light reminded him that there was _'someone'_ waiting for him, and this _'someone'_ didn't like to wait. Someone else moaned, right next to him, and snuggled closer as if demanding his attention. He smiled at the sight of Hisoka's curled, sleeping form. The youth was lying quietly against him, head pillowed over Tsuzuki's arm (which was currently feeling numb, but Tsuzuki wasn't going to complain), hands loosely gripping Tsuzuki's shirt in an almost childlike need of closeness and protection. He looked fine, at peace and young, so very young and vulnerable. Something in Tsuzuki screamed that he couldn't leave him alone. 

For a moment he held the boy closer, pressing his cheek against Hisoka's forehead, inhaling the boy's scent in a desperate wish to keep him close, to never let him go, to never lose him as he had lost every other person he had cared for, then, as he heard Hisoka's tiny moan, he returned to reality and released his grip on the boy. He didn't own Hisoka, he couldn't keep Hisoka, and it was better this way. 

Carefully, paying attention to not wake the boy, he managed to move his arm from under Hisoka's head, to free his shirt from Hisoka's grip and to get up from the infirmary bed. He stood next to the bed for a full minute, watching as Hisoka squirmed a bit, then moved to the place he had left vacant, as if seeking his warmth, and started moaning as if in pain. At this, Tsuzuki stroked Hisoka's hair soothingly till the boy calmed down, and after mumbling something Tsuzuki couldn't make out, settled again back to quiet sleep. Tsuzuki caressed his soft hair one last time, his hand moving to brush Hisoka's cheek and then his jaw, a sad, longing smile on his face, before walking away from the bed. 

He was about to leave the room when he caught the sight of himself in a mirror. 

He stared unhappily at the figure in front of him, the figure that was him and yet wasn't, the stranger he had found out he had become when he had been capable of coherent thoughts again after lying in a bed for eight years in the arms of insanity. 

He had been eighteen when his life ended, only two years older than Hisoka. Oh, technically he had lasted for a further eight years, eight years that had made him physically twenty-six when Natsume-senpai came to take him to Meifu, but technicalities didn't matter to him. Those eight years were blurry and confused, infinitely long and tremendously short at the same time, and he had no idea how to deal with them. His last memory, his last memory of himself alive was at eighteen, before the only person that had mattered to him was murdered in cold blood in front of his eyes. The twenty-six year old looking body wasn't his, couldn't be his. He just... didn't fit in it. He didn't fit anywhere. 

He remembered his first days in Enma-Cho. He remembered the dislike, the hate for that purple eyed stranger that stared at him every time he passed in front of a mirror. He remembered the stranger's apathetic expression, the dull purple eyes that just... didn't care about living or dying. Hadn't Natsume-senpai kept an eye on him, he... he had no idea what would have happened to him. Shinigami were hard to kill, but Enma had many ways to make death look like an act of mercy to those who disobeyed, to those who tried to escape his grasp. 

So he had lived and he had learned to get along with the stranger in the mirror. He had mastered twelve Shikigami and a long string of partners, assorted co-workers and other acquaintances that believed they cared for him. Of course very few of them had known the _'real'_ Tsuzuki Asato. Except for Natsume-senpai and his Shiki, he had never let any of them get too close. Oh, he had been tempted to do so, he had tried to do so, but he had seen how people had been scared by the real him, he had seen how they hurried to leave, he had seen how the few who didn't want to leave had found themselves in trouble. So he had lived, putting up mask after mask, working hard to please the people around him and to look harmless at the same time, to know them but to never let them know him. Then Natsume-senpai had died too, some years ago, in a mission that had involved a bunch of missing Reikon and a couple of Akuma, and he had taken his place as the strongest Shinigami and Enma's right hand. Even if their partnership had been broken by Enma, the man had always been kind to him, had always cared for him, had never been scared of him. He still missed him, the man who had been a father, a mentor, a hero and, most importantly, his first friend. And here he was, with a partner who was almost the mirror copy of who he had been at the beginning. A scared teenager with empty eyes, no will to live, and in desperate need of a friend. On second thoughts, he knew why Enma had partnered them together. He should have liked the irony of it, of giving him a partner who was so much like him and yet looked his exact opposite. A partner he desperately wanted to save from becoming like him. 

Hisoka deserved better, and if Tsuzuki had any say in it, he would get it. Even if it meant Tsuzuki couldn't keep him as a partner. 

* * *

Morning light was filling Enma Daioh's room quite nicely. It was a pretty sight, but Enma's attention was all caught up by something even more beautiful. Someone even more beautiful. A lone Shinigami standing in front of him in rumpled clothes, eyes of such an amazing amethyst colour that people would stop just to stare at them. Too bad for them they often believed that particular colour was due to coloured contact lenses. Tsuzuki's eyes were really an inhuman purple, a colour that had labelled him a freak and a monster in his life, but that had also given him as many admirers as the stars in the sky. And now, those shining jewels had their full attention on himself, Enma DaiOh. After facing the man's cold indifference for around seventy years, all that attention was almost too good to be true. 

"Enma DaiOh-sama." There was some urgency in Tsuzuki's voice. Intriguing. The man was always so carefully controlled around him. 

"Yes, Tsuzuki?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow. 

"You can't really mean that," Tsuzuki continued. Enma found himself being even more charmed. No one else would dare to question him but Tsuzuki, this apparently harmless man who hid in himself enough strength to destroy all of Meifu, and yet refused to use it. 

"Of course I can," Enma answered in his melodious, charming voice. "Kurosaki Hisoka has fulfilled his utility and he's connected to... a decidedly troublesome person. To protect JuOhCho, the best thing I can do is to destroy his Reikon so it won't be used to cause trouble," Enma explained calmly, almost amused. "You know the procedure, Tsuzuki. You've seen it quite often." It never failed to surprise him how Tsuzuki was so strongly against death. One would think he would be used at it after seeing it and causing it so many times, and yet... To Enma this was one of Tsuzuki's most amusing, intriguing traits. 

"DaiOh-sama..." Tsuzuki insisted, trying to find a way to save his partner. "What about the fact that you promised him he would be allowed to move over if the _'Dracula case'_ was solved?" Hisoka had mentioned it to Tsuzuki the previous night when he had calmed down slightly, and had started babbling things for the mere purpose of keeping himself awake, deathly afraid of the nightmares he could have should he fall asleep. Tsuzuki hadn't believed a single second that Enma would keep his word, but it was worth a try. 

"Oh, that." Enma dismissed the whole problem with a simple flick of his hand. "The child knew I never planned to keep that promise, and if he didn't, he was too stupid and naïve to deserve it to be respected. You don't come to pacts with the Lord of Darkness," Enma reminded him. Tsuzuki frowned. He knew it way too well. 

"What about the fact that you promised him to me? You said he was my _'gift'_." Tsuzuki didn't like to point that out. To him it felt like encouraging Enma to consider people as things, but if it could be of use... 

"You want him?" Enma looked at him incredulously. "Even after you know he's connected to the Muraki Ichimon?"(4) 

"I want him," Tsuzuki replied firmly. Who cared if Hisoka was connected to Muraki anyway? 

"I'll give you someone else," Enma said, frowning. 

"I want **_him_**," Tsuzuki insisted, emphasising the word _'him'_. "You said he was my gift," he repeated. 

"You trusted my words?" That was hilarious. Tsuzuki Asato who officially trusted everyone but deep down couldn't even trust himself had trusted a well-known liar like Enma? 

"No DaiOh-sama, I never trusted you," the man admitted frankly with an admirable nonchalance. "Some time ago you asked me why my favours went to HakuShaku-sama. I was merely explaining why." Enma's eyes narrowed. 

"What do you mean?" 

"He never took back what he gave to me," Tsuzuki said, knowing fully he had struck a nerve. Enma made an irritated gesture. He **_hated_** the fact that Tsuzuki had _'sympathy'_ for someone as low as HakuShaku. Tsuzuki's expression was carefully neutral, but it was clear he understood he had scored a mark. 

"If I give you the boy, and mind you I said _'if'_, what will I get from you?" 

"I wouldn't ever dare to came to pacts with the Lord of Darkness. Besides, what could a mere employee like me have that someone like you could wish?" Tsuzuki replied. Enma smirked. 

"A fitting reply. But there's something you have and I want." He placed a finger under Tsuzuki's chin. "A night with this delicious body of yours given to me by your free will." 

"We're talking about an exchange of gifts DaiOh-sama? Your signed order that Hisoka can move over for a _'one night stand'_? Or should I say _'one day stand'_?" Tsuzuki's voice was carefully _'business like'_, void of any feeling. He knew of Enma's interest in him. He didn't enjoy it, but there were worse things than spending a night with the ruler of Meifu, and if that helped to save Hisoka... he wouldn't have any regrets. 

"I never said I would allow the boy to move over. He needs surveillance. I'll let him live in our prisons," Enma replied coldly. 

"Why not in my care, DaiOh-sama? I would make sure he caused no trouble to you." 

"You want that child so badly? I guess he must really be something in bed." 

"I wouldn't know, DaiOh-sama. I haven't tried him yet. But he's certainly great at cooking." To be honest, Tsuzuki had no idea if Hisoka was or not. He merely gave Enma the first excuse that came to him that didn't suggest anything sexual to DaiOh-sama. He didn't want Hisoka to become the next victim of Enma's _'interests'_. 

"Keep your little chef if he entices you so much, Tsuzuki, but keep him well guarded. I don't want problems from him. And now we should move to... more pleasurable matters... and who said it has to be just for one time?" Enma asked sliding a finger down Tsuzuki's cheek. Tsuzuki smirked coldly, an expression almost no one in Enma-cho knew him capable of doing. 

"I'm afraid we can't yet, DaiOh-sama. You still have to sign the order. Besides, the lord of Meifu can't have the wish to waste more than one day of his time with a low class Shinigami. It would be embarrassing." Enma smirked back, pleased. To him, when Tsuzuki behaved like that, he was most exciting creature in all of Meifu. Too bad Tsuzuki knew it and was using it to his advantage. 

"You have no idea of the things people would wish to waste for you, Tsuzuki," Enma replied, smirking as he moved towards his desk to sign the order. Let Tsuzuki keep his new partner if it made him so... agreeable. Tsuzuki was a Shinigami and therefore nothing more than a toy to him, and yet... he was charmed by him as he had been by no one else. At first, when he had tricked Tsuzuki into becoming a Shinigami, he had wanted him because _'you had to keep your enemies close, and Tsuzuki was someone closely connected to a certain enemy.'_ Now... he was addicted to his presence and he knew he would never get enough. They played their own game, a game in which Enma tried to charm Tsuzuki in his own way and Tsuzuki simply... ignored him. Tsuzuki never asked favours for himself to Enma, not even a raise in his salary or a holiday. Enma could have forced his attentions, of course, but that would have ruined the game. That day, for the first time, Tsuzuki had asked him for something, leaving himself open for a... trade. Maybe more _'exchanges of gifts'_ would follow if he allowed Tsuzuki to keep the boy. That was an interesting option. He gave to Tsuzuki the signed order and watched as the man scanned it for possible tricks or mistakes before returning his full attention onto him. A drug, that was what Tsuzuki was to him. A drug he was planning to enjoy fully in the next few hours. 

"Love me, Tsuzuki," Enma requested, raising a hand to caress that soft cheek again and to brush back those dark bangs, exposing those beautiful purple eyes. "Love me as you never have anyone else and I'll make sure you'll never regret it..." 

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Yes, Watari is just a substitute doctor in the manga. I'm assuming there's a real, official doctor in Enma-cho even if in the manga he's never shown.

2. There isn't too much info on Tsuzuki's previous partners. I'm making up why they left him.

3. The 5 Shogun were/are a group of scientists who built Meifu's Main Computer. Watari had been one of them. They're mentioned in the **'Tsuzuki & Hisoka no Shikigami Series'**. Not much is said about them but it seems that their existence was a secret and that they were involved in secret stuff as well.

4. Muraki's grandfather was the one who took care of Tsuzuki when he was insane. Tsuzuki apparently had little memories of that time. It's not said if he knew who was his doctor. Enma knew it however. As for me, I'm assuming Muraki's name might have rang a bell but Tsuzuki didn't consciously pay any attention to it and yes, this meant he failed to see the connection between Muraki Kazutaka and Muraki Yukitaka and therefore he didn't understand Enma's comment. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Yes, Enma DaiOh-sama is a bastard. However he wants a consenting Tsuzuki. Unlike Muraki however, he doesn't understand that he's blackmailing Tsuzuki. He honestly thinks of it as an exchange of gifts. Shinigami are really his own possessions and he thinks he's being nice asking Tsuzuki's favours in exchange of a gift and not simply taking what he wants. He's not _'evil'_, he just lacks humanity. Mn... I know, it sounds confusing. Enma is in a position in which he's _'right'_ in considering everyone else as a bug or an object he owns. He's technically being nice with Tsuzuki because it would be in his right to ask everything from him without giving him something back. He's legally allowed to be a bastard.  
As for Tsuzuki... don't expect a whining, crying, abused Tsuzuki. He's not enjoying it, but he went into it willingly, and Enma isn't a bad lover. He would have preferred another way but...  
Oh yes, for those still wondering about who the eighteen year old boy that Enma and Tsuzuki talked about in Chap. 1 was, and to whom Tsuzuki found a striking resemblance in Hisoka yes, it was no one other than Tsuzuki himself. Tsuzuki became insane at eighteen. He died at twenty-six, but I figure in the beginning he still felt eighteen and probably back then he wasn't as cheerful, open and nice as he's now. He'd been insane and suicidal for eight years for crying out loud. I wouldn't be surprised if he was still half catatonic in his first days in Meifu.  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. This part however was completely made up by me and it's not in the manga or in the anime. To be honest, Matsushita-sensei said that she wanted Tsuzuki and Watari to have a conversation about Tsuzuki's partnership with Hisoka but that scene was removed so... 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**Akuma:** Demon  
**Bon:** Boy  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**GenSoKai:** "Illusory World". It's where Shikigami reside and it's a mirror copy of ChiJou located in JuOhCho network  
**HakuShaku:** "Earl". Master of the Rousoku no Yakata, he controls humans' life span  
**Ichimon:** "Family" or "Clan"  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Reikon:** Soul  
**Rousoku no Yakata:** "Castle of Candles". Where the candles representing human lives are held  
**Sempai:** "Older Workmate" or "Older Classmate"  
**Shiki:** Short for 'Shikigami'  
**Shikigami:** "Ceremonial God". Summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death" or "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**Shogun:** "General". How the five scentists who worked on JuOhCho's Mother Computer were called  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! My apology for the long wait... 

To **Silverfox**: I'm glad you liked the dream sequence! Somehow I love to write dream sequences and when someone apprecciate them I'm very happy! As for what Hisoka thinks about Suzaku's appearance... in the state of mind he was Tsuzuki could have summoned everything and he wouldn't have paid it much attention. He knows near to nothing about Shikigami (only what is said about them in Japanese legends) but he knew Muraki could summons creatures and he just thought Tsuzuki did the same, mistaking poor Suzaku for a Magami... 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long... Hisoka will get better soon, I promise! 

To **Vera-chan**: I love when people tells me in details what they liked about my work. It helps me to get better! Thank you so much for your review!  
The anime is way more popular than the manga so it's normal it's used as reference more often than the manga... I personally like more the manga because it's more... developed. I'm sorry you've to wait so long for this chap and I hope you will like it. 

To **Touya's Angel**: I would have loved to put more TsuzukixHisoka... Sadly in this chap Enma decided he've to ruin everything... Well, I can't complain too much since this was planned right from the beginning... Trust me I'm not a TsuzukixEnma supporter but Enma wouldn't have let Hisoka to live without something in exchange... He's a jerk... 

To **tenshiamanda**: I think yours was the best compliment a writer can hope to get. I'm glad you like the dream sequence. As for Ruka having purple eyes... I thought that since she's Tsuzuki's sister that's a concrete possibility she has his same problem... 

To **xXLil Yu JahXx**: I've done it, happy now? 

To **+ Aniko+**: Tsuzuki and Hisoka are a lovely couple! Thanks for your review I'm happy to hear when I can transmit the feelings the characters feel! 

To **Chibi Rinku**: I'm glad to hear you like my fic! Please don't speak bad of your work! I found **'The Handcuffs'** very amusing!

* * *

**In the Next Chapter:**  
So finally we're at the end of my version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'**. Will Hisoka stay in Enma-Cho? Will Tsuzuki keep him as his partner? Will the two of them get together? The answer in the nest chapter!

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


	11. Chap 10 Complicated

**Title:** **"Gifts - Chap. 10: Complicated"**  
**Author:** J.J.  
**Warning:** It's an AU and it's **BASED ON THE MANGA**... it contains not too descriptive rape, some OOC, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness, some spoilers...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. It makes perfect sense if you haven't read it but you will find things going differently from the anime... oh well since this is an AU and things will go differently from the manga too it shouldn't be a problem.  
About the characters... Tsuzuki's character is based on the first volume of the YnM Manga and that's why he's more serious. If you get the 1st volume of the manga you'll see a more adult looking Tsuzuki than in the rest of the series. As for Hisoka... He's purposely partially different from the original.  
Inspiration came from the YnM manga and a lovely pic from Akane available at her **'Cursed Moons'** Web (The pic is the one called **'TsuHi-raburabu'**)  
**Warning over notes:** This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes **_AFTER_** you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Yami no Matsuei"** belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...  
Ehy, do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Lothlorien** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** Alternate version of the **'Nagasaki Arc'** Manga version. What if Muraki managed to break Hisoka and Enma planned Tsuzuki & Hisoka's partnership?

* * *

**_"Chill out  
What you yellin for?  
Lay back  
It's all been done before  
And if you could only let it be  
You will see _**

I like you the way you are  
When we're drivin in your car  
And you're talkin to me one-on-one  
But you become 

Somebody else  
Round everyone else  
Watchin your back  
Like you can't relax  
You tryin to be cool  
You look like a fool to me  
Tell me 

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?  
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else  
Gets me frustrated  
Life's like this you  
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get  
And you turnin into  
Honestly, you promised me  
I'm never gonna find you fake it  
No no no"  
(Avril Lavigne - "Complicated") 

Hisoka groaned when he woke up. He was alone, Tsuzuki nowhere to be found. He felt lost, abandoned and miserable. Well, he wasn't really alone since Watari-san was around, but still... 

"What's wrong, Bon? Missing Tsuzuki?" the man asked him in his over-cheerful tone. Hisoka didn't reply. Even if Tsuzuki had assured him Watari-san's only love and passion was his lab he still didn't feel comfortable with the man. "He'll be back soon, you know," Watari-san added, ignoring Hisoka's lack of reply. 

Hisoka remained silent. Tsuzuki could have waited for him to wake up. Why had he left him there? Was he a nuisance to him now? Probably. And maybe... maybe he was also disgusted by... by what **_NUSHI-SAMA_** did to him... or by the fact that he was an empath or... 

"If it makes you feel any better he threw me out of my bed to make sure you didn't wake up alone." Hisoka turned his gaze on Watari-san. Knowing this helped, but not much. 

"Why did he leave?" he asked in a small voice. He hated sounding so weak and vulnerable. That wasn't how he was supposed to be, how he wanted to be, but he couldn't help it. Watari-san shrugged. 

"Who knows? Tsuzuki comes and goes as he pleases and he usually has a perfect excuse for it which mostly involves buying sweets." Hisoka looked even more miserable if possible. His partner had chosen sweets over him? Watari frowned. It wasn't his place to say anything but... but Tsuzuki seemed attached to Bon and he wanted this partnership to have a chance. "Bon. Tsuzuki's excuses aren't always the real reason behind his actions. Tsuzuki is a very private person, after a fashion. I'm sure he loves baked goodies but I'm also sure that sometimes getting them doesn't require all the time he takes. I'm also sure you're very important to him, more than any cookie could ever be." It was more than he should have said, really, but... Bon seemed to consider his words. 

"He visited a lot of restaurants," the boy said then, out of the blue. 

"Pardon?" Watari asked, confused. 

"When we were in Nagasaki... he visited lot of restaurants and I followed him but I was confused... I didn't understand how restaurants could be related to the investigation... I understood only later that he was trying to lure the vampire. I... it wasn't that he admitted it, I just felt it." Watari smiled. 

"If you'll ask him he'll probably say he was merely hungry." 

"But he didn't visit those restaurants for that! He may have been hungry, but... but he wanted to find Maria more!" Hisoka explained. Always, always, there was something hidden behind Tsuzuki's apparently silly behaviour. It was just that Hisoka was not always able to grasp it. Watari-san nodded. 

"I see you're starting to understand our Tsuzuki. So, Hisoka, may I ask what you are going to do now? Will you quit being a Shinigami and return to ShinKou-Cho or will you stay?" Hisoka turned his gaze away. 

"I... I don't know. I've been only a nuisance and a dead weight to Tsuzuki, and..." 

"That's not true, Bon," Watari-san interrupted him. "Tsuzuki said you've been very good for your first time." 

"And what make you think he was being honest, Watari-san?" Hisoka asked bitterly. 

"I don't know if he was being honest, but I saw the way he fussed over you like you were his most precious person or something. Tsuzuki is the worrying type, and he tends to worry about everyone but... not to that extent. Trust me, even if you were the biggest nuisance in this world, somehow you're a nuisance he loves." Hisoka blushed. Watari laughed. "Don't expect him to tell you this unless he's pretending to joke. He never asked people to stay. He should have but he never did it. Tsuzuki doesn't like to force people." And if he discovered he was telling Hisoka all these things he would be quite angry. Oh well, it was for Tsuzuki's well being, Watari told himself. Hisoka considered. 

"I... I'll consider staying... but only if he wants me to," the boy said in the end. Watari hoped Bon was going to find out Tsuzuki's wishes using his empathy. He knew Tsuzuki wasn't the type to reveal his real wishes himself. 

* * *

It was raining. Tsuzuki decided he didn't mind as the rain was soaking him. It felt good to be wet, as if rain could cleanse him from his many sins, could wash away the blood that stained his hands. It couldn't, of course, but he could always hope. He was good at deluding himself. 

All in all it hadn't been bad. The ruler of Meifu was quite a good lover and very handsome. Had Tsuzuki been another type of man he would have been delighted to have the chance to share the bed with Enma DaiOh-sama. Tsuzuki had, of course, considered being his lover, he had done so in those long, empty nights in which his loneliness got even more intense than usual, and the need of the presence of someone, no matter who, was so strong it almost drowned him. However, Tsuzuki knew he needed something more than a way to satisfy his physical needs from a relationship. Enma was a great bedmate, but that was all he was capable to be. Tsuzuki felt nothing for him and he didn't like the idea of sharing a bed with him to get something. He didn't like to use people, not even those like Enma, whom he didn't like at all. To him it didn't seem honest, even if he knew Enma was aware that that had been the only reason Tsuzuki had agreed in the first place. To ease Tsuzuki's guilt there was the fact that Enma's interest for him was merely physical. The ruler of Meifu was a cold-blooded bastard but he wasn't stupid, Tsuzuki recognized that. He also knew the man was one of the few, if not the only, who knew what Tsuzuki was and wasn't scared or horrified by it. 

To have a relationship with one of his workmates was out of question. Should they find out what Tsuzuki was... 

Besides, none of them would stay with him and he handled being abandoned bad enough when it was merely a matter of work. He didn't even want to consider how he would feel if he should have been abandoned again by someone he loved. 

No, he was destined to stay alone and it was better that way. 

Hisoka... 

He didn't want to think about the boy. Hisoka was the only one that he somehow had desperately wanted to keep. Maybe it was because he reminded him of himself. Maybe it was because he was connected to him, because Hisoka had been capable of hearing his voice in his mind the way only Ruka had been able to before. No, he shouldn't confuse the boy's empathic gift and latent telepathic abilities with the close bond he had shared with his sister, the only person who had been like him.(1) Tsuzuki frowned at the memory. Could they really do it only because there was a strong bond between them? Or was it another sign that they... weren't normal children, that they had Mazoku's blood in their veins?(2) He didn't really want to know, he decided, as he shook his head and went back to the problem currently at hand. Why did he feel so connected to Hisoka? Why was Hisoka so important, so precious to him? Was it because he pitied him? Because the boy was a cute little thing? Or was it merely because that small creature filled a need, fit next to him like a missing piece in the puzzle that his life was? 

No, he shouldn't think about Hisoka like that, it wasn't like he could keep him. 

Enma had been magnanimous. Not only had he signed the order that allowed Hisoka to stay in Enma-Cho, but also the one which allowed him to return to ShinKou-Cho should the boy wish to do so. Tsuzuki had no doubts that if Enma was that generous, it was because he believed the boy would leap at the chance to dump Tsuzuki as soon as he could. 

Tsuzuki didn't mind. He was used to being abandoned. It didn't mean he took it well, just that it didn't come as a surprise. 

As soon as he had the signed orders in his hands and had satisfied Enma's demands, Tsuzuki had been left free to go. Free. He had to report to Konoe first, of course. The man wasn't that pleased that Tsuzuki had blown up another building. 

All damage done in ChiJou was reflected in Meifu. Tsuzuki knew that but he didn't care all that much. If he blew up a building it was because he couldn't do otherwise, and most of the time it wasn't even his fault. Even if he hadn't summoned Suzaku, he doubted that Muraki's Magami would have done no damage. Buildings didn't matter to Tsuzuki. Lives were the things which were really important, the only things Tsuzuki wanted to save. He would never feel really guilty for a building. However, he knew better than to tell that to Konoe. 

Konoe informed him that Maria's Reikon had been returned to the China section. Her stepmother had been found dead, murdered by unknown hands. Apparently the China section wanted this investigation and he was more than pleased to leave it to them. Then he and Konoe started a not exactly pleasurable discussion about who lived using other people. 

Tsuzuki knew he wasn't any better than Muraki. He too murdered people for an obsession, an obsession that didn't even allow him to die. He wouldn't forgive himself for it. 

As soon as he got out of Konoe's office he'd been tempted to visit Hisoka, but ended up avoiding him like the plague. He didn't know what to say to the boy. He wanted him to stay, there was no way to deny it, but he knew it was better for Hisoka to leave. He didn't want to influence his decision so he simply hid from him. It wasn't the bravest decision and Tsuzuki knew it, but he preferred to have him learn from Konoe that he could finally leave Enma-Cho. 

However, it was getting late. The sun was setting. If Hisoka chose to leave Enma-Cho this might be his only chance to tell him goodbye. So there he was, under the rain, waiting for his soon to be ex-partner in order to have a last chance to see him. He groaned. Such a stupid and pitiful thing to do. There were days in which he hated himself even more than usual. 

"You'll get a cold if you stay under the rain," Hisoka's quiet voice interrupted his dark thoughts. 

"Talk about yourse..." he started to say, then, "Hisoka you're out under the rain without an umbrella!" he exclaimed worriedly. Hisoka shrugged. 

"So are you," the boy replied without daring to look at him. It always amazed him how Tsuzuki worried for someone as worthless as him. It surprised him and it made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He needed that worry, he adored being on the receiving end of it, it was like a drug, a soothing balsam for all his emotional wounds. He didn't think he could handle living without it. 

"Silly boy, here, at least come under here," Tsuzuki said in that half affectionate, half worried tone only Tsuzuki used with him, dragging Hisoka back, under Enma-Cho's arch. "Here you are," the man said once they were sheltered, then regarded Hisoka's wet form carefully. "Are you cold?" he asked, frowning as he noticed a tiny tremor running through the small body. Hisoka shook his head in denial. It wasn't cold that was making him tremble, it was something stronger and more powerful to which he didn't want to give a name. 

"Why did you leave?" he asked in a small voice. He hated himself for it, for being so dependant on that man, for being so weak in front of him, for not being able to hide all this. He hated himself for it, but at the moment, he didn't care much. All that mattered was Tsuzuki's reply. He felt Tsuzuki's emotions shifting behind uneasiness and settling for something cold he couldn't identify. 

"I got hungry," Tsuzuki stated. The tone was so wrong he didn't need empathy to know he was lying or that Tsuzuki absolutely didn't want to talk about it. 

"You could have come back later," Hisoka pointed out, trying to not make it sound like a pleading whine and failing pitifully. 

"I thought you already left without saying good-bye," Tsuzuki replied, leaning against the wall. Tsuzuki was trying to act cold, detached, his emotions carefully controlled. Yet, maybe due to that excessive control, Hisoka could tell there was something wrong. 

Some people exited from Enma-Cho and waved at Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki waved back with a smile, but Hisoka could clearly feel there was no happiness behind it, and a tiny hope managed to find its way into his heart. Might it be that Tsuzuki also wanted to be with him but was simply trying to hide it for some unfathomable reason? 

"Liar. You were waiting for me," he said quietly as soon as they were alone, desperately hoping he was right. Tsuzuki had felt like he was waiting for something when he had joined him. Could it be...? 

"The chief was crying, wasn't he? Asking you to hang around until my next partner could be decided," Tsuzuki said, ignoring Hisoka's accusation. He hated it when Konoe did that. It was embarrassing, unrequested and unfair. Konoe shouldn't do it for him, and other Shinigami shouldn't feel guilty for leaving him. He didn't want Hisoka to feel guilty for leaving. He wanted what was best for Hisoka and that was why he was going to keep the boy distant from him. He wasn't good for Hisoka. 

"Guess it can't be helped, KyuShu isn't very popular," Hisoka mumbled. Konoe had asked him to stay. Only, Konoe's request wasn't the reason why Hisoka wanted to stay. Tsuzuki sighed. He could picture the scene. He had seen it several times. He didn't like it. "However," Hisoka continued trying to sound determined and not like a scared child who feared he could be refused "That's not why I said I wanted to stay." 

Tsuzuki turned to Hisoka, confused. The boy wanted to stay? With him? But just yesterday night he'd told him that he became a Shinigami only because it was the condition that Enma set to allow him to move over, and that he hated the whole job! Or maybe... this was the reason. 

"Hisoka, do you really believe Enma will keep his promise?" He was treading on dangerous ground by asking this, he should really know better than to tell to someone else that Enma was a liar, but he had to. He couldn't allow Hisoka to do something he would regret in the long run only because Enma had lied to him. However, Hisoka shook his head. 

"No, but when I accepted to became a Shinigami I thought it was worth it to try and take the chance. Enma wouldn't have accepted a refusal anyway," the boy admitted. He was an empath. Enma wasn't as good as Tsuzuki at hiding his feelings. His emotions were a lot more... obvious. And a lot more... unpleasant. Tsuzuki nodded in understanding. 

"You know if you stay here we'll be sent back to ChiJou again. You may have to face other perverts again," Tsuzuki reminded him, trying to dissuade him. Not that Tsuzuki would allow them to try anything but the day might come when he had no say about it. 

"... If you don't want to be partnered with me, go ahead and say so," Hisoka said simply in a very small, depressed voice. "Konoe said Enma ordered me to live in my partner's house if I stay. He didn't explain why but I guess it's because he doesn't trust me for what... **_NUSHI-SAMA_** did to me. I'll understand if you say you can't trust me either and... and don't want me around after... after what you know about me..." As **_NUSHI-SAMA_** had said who would want anyone as ruined as Hisoka around? Who? 

"It's not that!" Tsuzuki exclaimed heatedly. "You probably don't know yet, since you entered this world due to Enma's request, so I'll tell you this. Shinigami are normally a collection of people who died with regret. Those with strong enough attachment to the real world and who pass the tests are given bodies again and the permission to come and go between Meifu and ChiJou. Because we're a bunch of egoists who hunt other people's lives for our own purposes, there's a lot of us who take advantage of our freedom to pursue our own agendas. We work in pairs to ward against that, to keep an eye on each other, to spy on each other. It's a dirty world. We're not really nice people. We're no better than Muraki. We kill for our own purposes. To realize a wish we deem more important than people's lives. Do you really want to meddle with such people, Hisoka? Do you really want to have a role in such a dirty world?" 

"I want to stay with you!" Hisoka exclaimed even more heatedly, and then he lowered his gaze and his voice in embarrassment. "I want to stay with you. I understand if you don't want me around but I... I want... I want..." the boy trailed off, stubbornly refusing to cry. Why couldn't Tsuzuki just say if he wanted him or not? Why did this have to be so complicated? Tsuzuki smiled down at him, but Hisoka didn't notice it, too busy staring at the ground in an attempt to control himself. Watari had tried to warn him, Tsuzuki thought. Despite everything Hisoka wanted to stay with him. Almost needed to stay with him. And he needed Hisoka to stay as well. 

"You know? It's the first time I've been paired with a handful such as you. Still a child. Stubborn and won't listen to a word I say," the man said. Hisoka's gaze lowered even further, failing to notice the affection in Tsuzuki's voce. He just knew Tsuzuki wasn't going to keep him. Who would? He almost jumped when he felt Tsuzuki's hand brushing his hair and raised his gaze to meet kind purple eyes. "But I want to be with you as well, Hisoka. If you're sure you want to stay," Tsuzuki said simply, as he gently ruffled Hisoka's hair. The boy blinked then bit his lip, lowering his gaze again. He refused to cry like a baby. "So, will you be my partner from now on, Hisoka? I'll keep you safe, I promise," Tsuzuki assured him. 

"I'm... I'm fine without your help!" he said, trying to save his dignity, but by then, tears were already trickling down his cheeks. 

"Now, now, don't say that. You're a very special charge left in my care by Kacho," Tsuzuki commented affectionately, gently dragging him close and wrapping his arms around the boy's trembling form, as if shielding him and allowing him to hide against him. "You're sure you want to stay, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked again. The boy looked so small and frail against him that he was afraid he would hurt him if he held him a little tighter and yet he wanted to, he wanted to hold him as tightly as he could and never let him go. Hisoka nodded as he snuggled closer to Tsuzuki, finding shelter in his arms, the only place in which he felt safe, the only place in which he believed he belonged. "Then I'll keep you forever, you know. I won't let you go," the man murmured in a quiet warning right next to Hisoka's ear. "I'll keep you, and I'll keep you safe, I promise." 

For Hisoka it sounded too good to be true. He leaned against Tsuzuki, believing that it was only a matter of a few moments and then he would wake up and discover he had never left **_NUSHI-SAMA_** and... As he expected the magic moment was broken as he sneezed. Tsuzuki immediately divided the two of them. "I told you that you shouldn't get wet!" the man exclaimed in a worried tone, "We must get back home so you can change into dry clothes," Tsuzuki added, ignoring Hisoka's mumbling that he was fine. 

"Won't it bug you that I'll be living at your house?" the boy asked hesitantly as Tsuzuki pushed him again back against himself and rubbed his back in an attempt to warm him up. 

"Naaah. There isn't a lot of space in my house but unless you have lot of luggage we'll fit somehow. By the way, where is your luggage?" he asked looking around. Hisoka pointed at the sports bag he'd let fall to the floor when Tsuzuki had hugged him. He didn't really want to move from Tsuzuki's arms. Tsuzuki picked his bag up for him. "Only that?" he asked. Hisoka nodded. He didn't have many belongings. Life hadn't had much meaning to him when he came to Meifu, and so while he'd been at ShinKou-Cho he'd bought only the strict necessities, and when they'd asked him to move to Enma-cho he'd taken with him even less. He had left the bag in the office while they were working on the case, since no one had bothered to assign him a house, and had retrieved it only before walking out to search for Tsuzuki. However now that he thought about it, it seemed almost embarrassing that he owned almost nothing, as if he was some poor orphan kid. 

"Oh, it'll fit without a doubt," Tsuzuki commented, smiling reassuringly at him as if he actually understood what was going through Hisoka's head right then. Hisoka blushed as Tsuzuki pulled him close to him and proceeded to hide him under his long coat to keep him safe from the rain. Hisoka knew it wouldn't be exactly comfortable to walk that close to Tsuzuki but he wasn't going to complain. The man was warm and the arm around his shoulders made him feel safe, accepted, loved. He leaned shyly into the embrace, inhaling Tsuzuki's scent. It felt like baked sweets. He was going to learn to love that scent. 

"I can carry my own bag, you know, Tsuzuki," he informed the other male, still keeping his head lowered to hide his blush. He felt as well, as safe, as happy as he would have never believed he could be. 

"I know. I don't mind carrying it for you," Tsuzuki replied in an affectionate whisper, his warm breath brushing Hisoka's skin gently. "I don't mind doing anything for you," he said in an even softer tone, so low that Hisoka wasn't sure if he had heard it right, yet the feeling was there and it was a feeling in which it was worth drowning, in which he loved drowning. "I'll even be your personal porter if you wish me to." 

"Stupid man," the boy murmured affectionately in such a low tone Tsuzuki couldn't hear it, feeling very warm as Tsuzuki was smiling down at him, so warm he wasn't even noticing the rain falling over them. He loved that smile. It was funny but he was feeling just like he had received the biggest gift in his whole life. The affection and the acceptance of someone else. No, he really couldn't feel the rain right then. As far as Hisoka was concerned in that moment the sun was shining so much everything was wrapped in warmth and light. As far as Hisoka was concerned that was paradise. 

_**The end...**_

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. No, I've no idea if Tsuzuki and Ruka had a telepathic bond. I just find it fitting. In many stories siblings have a _'mind connection'_ and since Tsuzuki and Ruka are suspected to not be fully human is even more fitting for them to have one.

2. Why I've said that Tsuzuki had Mazoku's blood? Well... Tsuzuki had been accused to not be human. Muraki hypothesized he had the blood of an Oni but I guess it was merely because they were watching _'Momijigari'_ a story about Oni. In some stories it's said that demons have purple eyes. I assumed it's a Japanese folklore concept and so it makes sense Tsuzuki believes himself to be a demon. Why I used the word _'Mazoku'_ and not _'Akuma'_? Because _'Akuma'_ means loosely _'Evil Demon'_ while _'Mazoku'_ means only _'Member of the Demon Race'_. Since Tsuzuki isn't an evil being I favoured the term _'Mazoku'_. 

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Ah, terrible, JJ made Tsuzuki wonders if he could become an issue with Enma!  
I know, I know, it's terrible, but it's also logic. Tsuzuki is a very lonely person and Enma is the only one who knows what Tsuzuki is and is willing to keep him _'company'_. I say Tsuzuki should have been tempted however, since he doesn't like Enma at all, he always refused.  
Why I don't have him wondering if he could be an issue with someone in his office? Because Tsuzuki is the type who keeps a certain distance from people, afraid that if he'll show himself he'll be refused or worst. So he might have considered a relationship with one of them but he had ended up keeping them far as he tried to do with Hisoka.  
I know people would have liked to see Tatsumi and there was an apparition planned for him but in the end I removed that scene. Tatsumi had almost no role in the **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version and making him do something merely for the sake of having him do something... well, it seemed pointless. I'm sorry Tatsumi fans...  
What else?  
While I can say I liked having Tsuzuki pondering under the rain it was pure hell to have him interacting with Hisoka... and I'm still not too satisfied with the result... as for why Hisoka should go living with Tsuzuki... well, Enma wants to keep him under control and can someone blame me for catching this chance to have him and Tsuzuki living together? Plus in the state Hisoka is it'll be better for him to live together with someone...  
The **'Nagasaki Arc'** manga version is quite different from the anime one. Since Viz recently printed the first YnM volume I guess now there are many more people knowing this. Anyway... for those who want the basic differences...  
In the manga Tsuzuki reports to Konoe alone. Konoe tells him he won't get a bonus and that Maria's stepmother is dead but the China section will take care of the investigation. Tsuzuki then rants about the fear of vampires and how he and Muraki are similar. Later in Enma-cho's infirmary when Watari removes the bandages from Hisoka the boy tells him he plan to stay. Then Hisoka joins Tsuzuki who's currently waiting for him under the rain. The two talk. Hisoka tells him he knew he had been killed and that's why he accepted to become a Shinigami but that, after he had met Muraki he still couldn't sort things out because there was too much darkness in Muraki's soul. Then he tells Tsuzuki that if he doesn't want to be partnered with him they can break their partnership. Tsuzuki asks him to be his partner. Hisoka says he's impressed by how Tsuzuki could care for him and asks him why he does so. Tsuzuki says that is because Hisoka is his partner (JJ's note: Yeah, sure Tsuzuki, it's just for that, keep telling it and maybe we'll believe it one day). Tsuzuki remembers he forgot to buy the Katsutera for Konoe. In the office Konoe asks where his Katsutera is. 

**Dictionary:**  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Akuma:** Demon  
**Bon:** Boy  
**ChiJou:** Land of the Living  
**DaiOh:** "Great King". Enma's title  
**Enma:** "Demon of Darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead  
**Enma-Cho:** "Office Enma". In the 5th district of JuOhCho. It's ruled by Enma himself and controls only Tokyo's territory. It hosts the Shokan-ka  
**JuOhCho:** "Ten Kings Office". Meifu's bureaucratic organization ruled by Enma. It's in charge of judging the deceased in Japan  
**Kacho:** "Section Chief". Konoe's title  
**Mazoku:** Member of the Demon Race  
**Meifu:** Land of the Dead  
**Nushi-sama:** "Master" or "Owner" or "Lover"  
**Oni:** Mythological Japanese Monster who looks like a demon  
**Shinigami:** "God of Death", "Death God". Nickname for the Shokan-ka workers  
**ShinKou-Cho:** "Office ShinKou". In the 1st district of JuOhCho. It controls Okinawa's territory  
**Shokan-Ka:** "Summoning Division". Division in Enma-Cho that deals with summoning the dead to appear at court. It enters in action only when the souls of the dead don't go spontaneously to Meifu 

**'Gifts' Ending notes**  
Originally this was born to mix 3 different wishes:  
1) my wish to write something about how was Tsuzuki's life in Enma-Cho when no one was looking and his relationship with Enma.  
2) my other wish to answer to the question: 'What if Muraki had kept Hisoka?'  
3) my third wish/need to write a Tsuzuki/Hisoka fic after seeing Akane's 'TsuHi-raburabu' pic.  
The title, **'Gifts'** might seems weird but _'Gifts'_ are, after all, the main plot of this fic.  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka (and Muraki too) end up in the situation they are because they're _'gifted'_ (Tsuzuki is gifted with a not-human power and Hisoka with empathy).  
Enma paired Hisoka with Tsuzuki presenting him as a _'gift'_ to win Tsuzuki's loyality.  
Tsuzuki gets to keep Hisoka in the end exchanging him with the _'gift'_ of one night spent with Enma DaiOh.  
Tsuzuki & Hisoka's affection, comprension and acceptance for each other are the best and most needed _'gifts'_ for the two of them.  
Will this fic be continued?  
Maybe. Maybe not. It depends by the fact I get inspiration and **TIME** to do it or not. Reviews normally encourage me but I can't promise they can make me continue this for sure. 

**Information Sources**  
**Manga translations** were either made by **Theria** or by me using the YnM **Star Comics** Italian translation as reference.  
**Anime translations** were either made by **Tetris no Miko** or by whoever subbed my YnM dvd.  
**Lyrics transcriptions** come from various lyrics webs. I'm sorry I don't remember them all. 

**Thanks**  
To **Lothlorien** for betaing this and giving me all her support! Thank you a lot! Without your help and your work this story would never have been as it is! Thank you, thank you!  
To **Lothlorien, MK, Nancy, Chubby-King-Chocobo, Kurosaki Aniko, shitsumon, Chibi Rinku+ Aniko, Vera-chan, Touya's Angel, Daemonchan, Chaos-Empersonified, GoldenRat, Silverfox1, kaori-chan, Mitts, xXLil Yu JahXx, Baka-Chibbi, Black Angel of Destruction, Terry, Xelena, Mlaine, jailnaziking, Alanna Evelyn, Wakaba-sama, EmmaB, ctt, Zanzou Youko, kaori-chan, Amy Levi, tenshiamanda, DarkSapphireDragon, Emelyn C. Greiser, Meritite, Jazmin, day dreamer, Emily, Rach** for their reviews! Thanks a lot! Your support made me really happy and encouraged me to finish this fic!  
To **Yoko Matsushita** for her wonderful story, to **Hana to Yume** & **Hakusensha** for printing it, to **Star Comics** for printing it in Italy, to **J.C. Staff** for giving life to the wonderful anime series.  
To the **Various Authors of the Song Lyrics** used.  
To **Theria** for her YnM manga translations, to the **Owners of the web Mangagedon, Rainkitty and Compulsion** for the scanlations of the manga, to **Tetris no Miko** for her translations of the YnM Tv Series scripts.  
To **Akane** for creating the pic that inspired it all, to **Lothlorien & tenshiamanda** for suggesting ideas with their reviews.  
To yaminomatsuei e-group & Tsusoka e-group for hosting this.  
To **Everyone who read this**. I hope you also liked it!

* * *

**Replies to reviews:**

To **Everyone who reviewed**: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me! My apology for the long wait... 

To **shitsumon**: I hope this last chapter satisfied you! Yes, I also like serious Tsuzuki; Tsuzuki had his serious moments even if sometimes people forget it. 

To **Silverfox1**: Enma is supposed to be evil... As for Suzaku... well, yes, she's mean to Touda but I guess it's because she's the impulsive, overprotective type... and she's also a bit messy... 

To **Vera-chan**: Well, I'm helped by the fact I'm following the manga plot. The manga is dark and that's part of its charm. As for the 'filler' chapters... there was no space for them. I had to add something but to add too much would have ruined the rhythm of the original story. It's, after all, a 'remake' of the Nagasaki Arc. I didn't want it to deviate too much from it but in the same way I didn't want to rewrite it. I'm glad you like how everything turned out and I hope you'll enjoy the ending.  
I'm sorry for the typo. It's entirely my fault. I added the preview at the last moment and I forgot to spell check it. Thank you for your wonderful review! It made me very happy! 

To **tenshiamanda**: You sure know how to make the best compliments! Thank you for your support during all the fic, you took time to review almost each chap of this fic and I've really appreciated it! 

To **DarkSapphireDragon**: See? Everything had ended well! I'm not that evil after all! I'm glad you liked the previous chap. I hope you had enjoyed the ending as well! 

To **Kurosaki Aniko**: LOL. It's not that hentai! I'm glad you like this fic! Tsu x Hi forever! 

To **Chubby-King-Chocobo**: (Blush) I hope this chapter will make you happy as well. As for Enma being a pervert... yes, in a fashion he is. He's a God with no morality. 

To **Nancy**: I'm glad you like it! 

To **MK**: I'm happy you like 'Gifts' as well. I love both SeixSu and TsuxHi. They both have great potential even if recently I'm obsessing over SeixSu... Must be the post-traumatic shock of seeing Seishiro's dead... I'm still crying over it... The 'Nagasaki Arc' isn't my favourite in the manga either, even if I do adore Tsuzuki in the 'Nagasaki Arc' and I find it had a lot of potential. However I had to start this AU with the 'Nagasaki Arc'... 

To **Touya's Angel**: Ehm... where did you get the idea Enma is invisible? He's quite visible... Matsushita Sensei never showed his face fully but she showed us enough to know he's visible, young looking, apparently handsome and with long dark hair. The best pics of Enma are in chap 57. Around in the net there should be a flash version of it. Maybe are you mistaking him for HakuShaku (the Earl), the keeper of the castle of candles who is invisible only as long as he wears his mask? Besides I don't think that being invisible would stop a guy from having sex with another. It might be highly uncomfortable but it's not like being incorporeal. 

To **Chibi Rinku**: Sure I read them! No need to blush! 

**Warning:**  
In the next days I'll upload on my Journal the original draft of 'Gifts' that in the end evolved in this fic. I might end up uploading there something that I planned to use as beginning for 'Gifts 2' too, since I'm not sure if there will be a 'Gifts 2' or if I'll use that piece in it.

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


End file.
